Did You Have To Let It Linger?
by Michellesdaughter
Summary: Voldemort's defeat leads Severus to something that kept him awake many nights. The wizarding world is relieved, but he has to face the battle he never finished back as a young man; for the woman who made him forget Lily. But who broke his heart. SS/OC
1. Reflections of a rocky start

**A/N--After working on my Sirius journal story; I came to realize I loved the flash back scenerio, and I wanted a story around Severus to be similarly put out. I am still working on my Sirius story, but I wanted to begin this as well. Naturally I don't own Harry Potter or any of that just this story and of course my own characters in it. **

* * *

Severus Snape had never prayed. He had made few wishes in his life for anything, and most of them had come to nothing. He wondered now as he stared into the distance if the one prayer that had come true was worth it. If in his painful life that something good was really worth all of the suffering he'd gone through. Even as a child a girl had driven his ambition, his goals. Now it seemed his life had turned around in a cycle. He sighed and thought back.

* * *

No one had ever found Severus Snape attractive. He pondered this to himself as he watched James Potter run after Lily with a wicked grin on his mouth. He wanted to go over and do something; but after his latest argument with her it seemed stupid to even try. No, he was sure he would end up spending his whole life pining after Lily Evans. Silently he made a prayer someone else would come along and pull his mind away from her. He would work his whole life; do whatever it took for someone who would fall in love with him.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I know that you are always paying attention in potions..and with my friend always wanting to talk to me in that class I never take good notes. Mum says she'll curse my nose off if I don't get better marks..could I borrow your notes?"

She had long sun colored hair that trailed around her shoulders. Her nose turned up giving her a childlike expression of amusement. His dark eyes found her light chestnut ones, and he felt instantly as if someone had answered his every wish. He'd seen her though, but where he couldn't grasp. She sat down beside him, and smiled. "Well?"

"Yeah..of..of course."

"Thank you..it's so hard for me sometimes..honestly I can't imagine why I'd need to know any of these potions.." She looked out at the lake then back to him. "Thank you..I really needed help.."

She hadn't realized that he'd been wishing for her help as well.

* * *

Fate was fickle. Severus tried to shake his head from the memories and focus on the way the landscape zoomed by faster and faster. The Knight Bus never seemed to get any less ridiculous a ride, but he thought it would give him time to prepare something to say. He sighed, running his fingers through his dark greasy hair. He'd felt no need to clean up before leaving the house, but as he considered it he wished he had. It had been a long time…and here he was with a stuffed rabbit to give her. She would probably hate it. He sighed again and eyed the people on the train most of them asleep or reading the Daily Prophet. He felt the letter in his pocket with his fingers, the parchment wrinkled from the times he'd unfolded and refolded it. He wanted to read it there, but he worried the people around them would know. Would see it.

"We're here sir, Malfoy Manor. Rather spooky now an't it?" The boy who turned to speak to him waited for an answer, but the dark haired man just picked up his things and walked off the train leaving a few galleons before walking towards the large manor. The whole driveway felt cold, longer with every step. The house had seen better days, since the fall of Voldemort it was in shambles barely the grand home it had once been. He wondered if it had affected her much.

* * *

"You going to kiss me Severus?" The teenage girl just stared at him, her light brown eyes glittering with delight. The library was empty, and he'd been considering it as he went over the potions notes with her. Yes, he could easily reach over and kiss her, they were alone and she was so close..

"Of course not. I'm not suicidal..I know what would happen to me."

"Oh don't be a prat. It's just a kiss Severus..it won't mean anything.." She promised him softly caressing his hand with her own. He stared at their hands a while, and then up at her. He leaned over, and it felt as if eternity were there between their lips, until he felt their lips touch. It started chaste enough, but as she kissed back she deepened it, and books strewn across the table. Her lips tasted sweet, and he could smell something delicious on her. Some sort of perfume, like roses. Her robes were slipped off, and beneath she was wearing a fitted white t-shirt and jeans. She smoothed her fingers through his hair, and moved onto his lap. Far away though, the sound of footsteps made her go back to her seat in a flash, her robes pulled back on and her focus back on the book. Severus couldn't catch up, and found himself stupidly staring at her. What had happened?

Then he could see over her shoulder the blonde young man walked inside. He was out of Hogwarts, but he looked as if he could wander in when he felt like it. He stood next to her, reaching his hand out to touch her face. Severus was sure he could see her wince in a silent agony.

"My father wished I come visit…check in on my little fiancée'.." Lucius Malfoy's grey eyes moved over her, a smirk across his mouth. "Make sure you're keeping me in mind.."

"Of course Lucius..only you.." She looked up from the book, back at the man standing before her. " It's only a few months away before I'm out of here and..your wife."

"I've heard some reports that you've been spending an unusual amount of time with..less favourable people.."

"Severus has been helping me with work.."

"You know who I mean Persephone." Those grey eyes were sharp along with the young man's features, and she looked down like a wounded animal.

"I'll behave myself more appropriately, I promise." He kissed her forehead, and gave Severus a nod before leaving the library and them all alone.

* * *

Peacocks walked gingerly around the landscape. One or two, both of them looking as though they were hungry. He took his wand out and with a flick they were both eating hungrily at something between them. He gave a quiet sigh as he walked down towards the house again. He worried a moment that no one was there, that he'd come all this way for nothing when he saw a figure sitting outside. It was a young girl, with the sharp features of a Malfoy. He stared at her silently, watching as the child played with a toy wand twirling it freely between her chubby fingers. She must have been two or three.

"Mummy says if a stranger comes, I'm supposed to go inside. I'm waiting though." The girl's voice was surprisingly loud compared to the silence of the grounds. Severus just stood there a while and the girl coolly walked over. He felt scared, foolishly scared of this child. The girl looked up at him a while, and then her eyes filled with tears. He didn't know how to react, if he were better off going after her but when she went inside he knew that he was right to come. The little girl was waiting for him right? He stared up at the house, not back towards the little lane he'd been dropped off at. He was here for a reason. Someone in there was waiting for him, had been waiting too long.

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**Thanks for reading, any criticism or reviews are really appreciated. I really do love Severus, and thought that this would be very fun to write. I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter!**


	2. I'm Scared

"I told you..think of how much trouble you could have gotten me into!" Severus accused her. They were alone in the library again, but he was throwing his things back into his bag angrily, his face trapped in a scowl. Lucius could easily have seen him kissing her, seen how close they were alone in the library. Naturally Severus knew that he should avoid being on the wrong side of Lucius Malfoy. It was a death wish not to. Sadly Persephone was not aware of this that he could see….

"Severus please don't be a git..here.." She reached over to help him but he pushed her back and she fell against her chair, her eyes following his actions helplessly. "He's just cross I've been spending time with my cousin…it had nothing to do with you..he probably didn't even consider that I'd.."

"You're engaged to Lucius Malfoy! You're supposed to go off and get married to him after we graduate. That's reason enough to stay away. Do you know how much influence his family has over the wizarding world? I could never get a job because of your fiancé just because I kissed you!"

"Stop shouting like a child!" Persephone took his bag and held it behind her staring at him. He could have snatched it back, but because she was shaking he didn't just waited for her to finish. "You wanted to kiss me, I just let you. Lucius won't find out about it, I promise. I really do want help in Potions..and you really do want us to be friends don't you?"

He was silent, staring at the ground. It was true, he wanted to stay close to her. She was the first person after Lily who wanted to spend any time with him. Besides the rising muggle haters who had taken him under their wings. Though that confrontation had gotten him many enemies from the Gryffindors. He looked back up at her, and finally he gave a short nod admitting he wanted to keep her close to him.

"Fine then..but no more..no more of the kissing. Ever. You can never kiss me again. I won't..won't kiss you either." Severus waited for her to promise and she grasped the strap of his bag in her hands, thinking it over before giving him his bag back.

"No more kissing." She nodded her head, and looked around the library. "I should get back…I'm supposed to write Mum and Dad whenever he visits…he'll probably have told them his suspicions about me 'misbehaving'."

"Should I walk you back to the common room?"

She looked at him surprised and at first he was worried he'd been forward or something; but she smiled and nodded her head. "Yes of course. I don't want to walk myself back. Winter makes the castle even colder and darker, and I won't go alone."

* * *

Weeks they went on, in a quiet friendship. Severus hated it, hated watching as she stared silently out the window in fear of graduation. Hated the way Lucius would stop by suddenly during classes to snatch her out to speak with her. He hated the way he longed for that forbidden kiss again. The lust for Evans had cooled, replaced with something he found far more wicked. Then he realized he hated something else.

He hadn't noticed before but it hypnotized him, the chain around her neck. He wanted to ask, and finally got the nerve up to one day at lunch. She'd shared so many secrets with him, he'd spoken so much. It seemed the only thing they hadn't exchanged in their quiet times 'studying' when really they were talking of the world, of themselves.

He tried desperately to find her instead of eatting, she seemed to have disappeared however and he wandered after where he thought she'd be. He eventually found her speaking quietly with Sirius Black of all people out on the grounds away from any other students. He waited a far enough distance to keep an eye on them, two figures against the white snow.

"Look, I'm sorry! I'm not strong willed like you are! I can't..I can't stand up for myself at all! How could I just turn my back on them..I can't do anything on my own.." He could hear her voice carried towards him. Sirius said something to her but she shook her head and he could tell she was crying. Sirius reached over and hugged her, saying something to her. She remained there, and then wiped her eyes clean before giving him something and turning herself to walk back to lunch.

"What're you doing Snivvy? Listening in on my conversations?" Sirius had seen him and the Slytherin boy quickly raised his wand to defend himself. They were locked there, wands raised like statues perfectly made to oppose the other. It was something they'd perfected over years of loathing.

"It's got nothing to do with you Black." He replied icily, grasping his wand tightly. "I was just making sure.."

"What my cousin and I talk about is none of your concern Snivvy...how about we do something about your greasy nose then? Care to see if we can get it any bigger?"

Persephone had come back to say something, when she caught sight of them. Her eyes widened and she walked over quickly standing between them. "Both of you what're you doing here? Fighting like children!"

"He was listening in on us Seph, it isn't any of his business..someone needs to teach him a lesson.."

"Leave him off Sirius, he's my friend." She assured him, taking his wand in a quick movement. With her other hand she grabbed Snape's leaving both young men surprised and watching her. She turned back towards Severus with a quick movement. "Were you really listening in Severus?"

Severus pushed his hair from his face, nodding his head. "But it was only because I was lookin' for you…I heard.."

"Told you! Listening in like the filth he is. Probably spying on you for Lucius!"

"You know that I'm not!" What's he making you cry out here for then? That's what I want to know!" Severus said harshly pointing a finger accusingly at Sirius. The Gryffindor laughed, shaking his head as if it were a great joke. This only angered Severus further, but being wandless he could only suffer in silence until the other man explained.

"Me making her cry? Hardly. More like our damned family! More like pureblood fanatics.." Sirius gingerly put his arm around Persephone, patting her shoulder as if worried though she could snap at any minute. "We were talking about her engagement if it's any of your business…"

"He's my friend Sirius..he can know these things.."

"Seph didn't we have a discussion about keeping track of what sort of friends we have?"

"According to Mum you're one to avoid…" Persephone gave her cousin a small teasing smile; and then glanced back to Severus. "Besides, he's helping me raise my potion's grade. Just because you don't want to be friends with him hardly means I can't become friends with him."

Severus watched as Sirius gave him an explorative look. He wondered if Sirius knew what strange things had passed between himself and Persephone, the kiss that could have gotten them both in trouble, the way he wanted to be near her all the time. The Gryffindor instead hugged his cousin. His chin length dark hair moved with him, hanging around his face as he pulled back to stare at her.

"Well, you never did have much taste…but under your present circumstances I'll overlook it." He looked in the distance squinting. "Oi, look over there. Regulus looks like he wants a good hexing..pointing over at me like I'm the prat..keep in mind what I said Persephone, I'll come talk about it later with you." He took his wand back from her, kissing her forehead playfully. "Behave yourself..or I'll tell darling Bella on you…"

"Ugh my sister's so awful you wouldn't dare.." She watched him go and stuck her tongue out. "Bella wouldn't have anything to do with you anyway..she always said you were weird.."

He gave a laugh and shook his head going off to curse and probably scare his brother. He waved back to his cousin, not even giving the Slytherin boy another look. Obviously he knew what he wanted to do; and that was simply to let his cousin be until he had her to talk in secret again.

Once Sirius was gone far enough Severus reached out to touch her himself. He hated that he'd gotten jealous that his rival's best mate had touched her, they were related. Persephone just stared down at his hand, which rested calmly on her own. She gave a small smile and looked up at him. "If he'd have seen you do that..he'd probably have gotten cross with you.."

Severus was surprised at his own boldness and just stared at his hand there. She looked around a moment and gave him his wand back. "Did you have something you wanted to talk about with me? That made you come eavesdrop on us?"

"I didn't mean to you know.."

"Shh I know, don't cause a scene. Come on and we'll go talk somewhere secret.." She promised leading him towards the quidditch pitch. He followed close behind his eyes watching over her. He had no idea why he'd let himself get mixed into the business of purebloods but when they were alone in a locker room his mind went blank. If anyone had seen them, he was sure they'd have acted by now. It seemed Lucius's spies had to eat just like everyone else, that was a relief.

"So what was it you wanted to ask about?" She asked sitting down watching him. He sat beside her. Sitting this closely alone it took a moment for him to recall why he'd sought her out. He reached his fingers over her necklace, and she winced as if he'd stabbed her. Then as he toyed with the chain a little, he realized she'd forgotten it was there, and the reminder itself was enough to invoke some awful feelings.

"I wanted to know what that was.." He pulled at it despite her evident agony, revealing a strange crest. He eyed it, and next to it was an emerald ring. It was impressive, and then he realized what it was fully. Her engagement ring. She undid the chain, putting it down and away from her vision and his.

"My chain to my responsibilities, nothing more." He saw the sudden despair in her eyes. He wanted to say something, but before he could her mouth was against his, crushing against his lips. The kiss was hungry, scared, much more than the loving kiss he'd imagined ever giving Lily Evans. It was something desperate and full of the emotions Severus himself had always felt. It was a kiss of a kindred spirit.

He put his arms around her waist, holding her close to him. She broke the kiss but remained there, her forehead resting against his. His dark hair touching her gold colored hair, her breath against his skin. It was hypnotic, something he couldn't understand. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and rested her head against his shoulder. It was awkward, he'd never held anyone, but he eventually got her comfortable sitting in his arms.

"The family crest. Black crest. Mum gave it to me; I think she'd be cross to know I hide the ring on it though.."

Severus remained silent. They had avoided that subject, the engagment itself. They acted as if it were imaginary, the dragon in the room no one spoke of. It seemed that time had come as well.

"My sister was supposed to marry him. She was off on vacation with Mother though, and met some French wizard she grew quite fond of. Pureblood, rich, naturally he could replace Lucius and I had to step up and marry him."

"What if you don't?"

She shook her head. "I'll be declared a traitor to the family…'Always Pure'." She looked away and sat up. "If I were brave like Sirius, I'd have run away a long time ago. I can't though..I just..they're my family. If I'm not loyal to them then I'm just..just cut apart from my whole world. So I have to marry a pureblood, raise pureblood babies, and live that wizarding life my whole family forces themselves into."

"Then what are you doing with me here? I can't..I can't do anything about that." Severus felt his words were full of cowardice, after wanting her so much to declare he didn't want to be there seemed stupid. She just watched him though and burrowed her face against his chest.

"I don't know. Hiding. Sirius or not, I'm alone here. Bella, Andromeda and Cissy, they're gone from Hogwarts. Andromeda is in trouble herself, and I won't be a second sister scolded and pushed from the family shamefully. But when I leave.. I'll be his when I leave here…paraded around the wizarding world as his wife. I'm scared so I'm hiding here with you. I don't know what to do."

He just stared at her, her hair falling around her head gracefully, the way she fit perfectly into his grasp. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to do after Hogwarts, Lucius had mentioned some sort of group against muggles. Maybe he'd join them, find his place among the 'right' sort of people. He smoothed his fingers through her hair, smelling that far away scent of roses. After all the intimidating man had done for him, here he was holding his fiancée. What a fool he was. He wished he'd never met her, he'd rather be pining after Lily than in this position..

"Severus…are you scared too?" She looked up at him, her eyes staring into his. He couldn't help his hand caressing her face, her neck. "The world is a big place Severus..and we're so small…" She seemed to be mumbling though as she felt his hand touch her shoulder, moving her robes to touch her bare shoulder. She shivered slightly but pulled back from his grasp.

"I don't know what I'm scared of. We should get back…." The last of his sense kicked in, and he realized the position he was in. Even he, a young man who had learnt the hard way about lust, understood when it had to be reigned in. "Back, I should get you back Persephone.."

"Back to what? No one's watching us here..no one can see us. Don't you get it, we're safe here. I'm safe here." Persephone watched him a while and kissed him again. "When you're around, I'm not as scared. I'm not scared when you touch me."

There they were. A witch and a wizard almost of age cold and alone together. He wanted to say something to comfort her; but he could barely keep himself going sometimes. She was here though, looking to him for answers. He couldn't help himself. How could he, she was begging him for something, comfort, touch. She helped him remove her robes gently, and they locked again in the kiss of two lonely people.

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**_A/N--I really love this story. It's such an inner struggle, I think that I put a lot more of myself into my stories than I'd like to admit. I appreciate everyone that reads this, and I'll try to be understanding of your judgements._**

**Review Reply**

**Debjunk**--Thank you, no she's engaged at this point to him. He's already naturally declared her his property however.


	3. I'll Help You Forget Her

Severus stared at Persephone as she pulled her robes back over her clothes. She didn't seem to be nervous of what they'd done. She just adjusted her robes, and brushed her fingers through her hair. He had already changed back but she'd remained there on the floor of the locker room deep in thought while he'd put his own clothes back on. She walked over to him and put her arms around his neck again, smoothing her fingers through his hair and resting against him. He stared down at her, holding her close to him. The reality had already hit him the moment he had his clothes on.

Persephone belonged to Lucius Malfoy.

Not Severus.

She gave a sigh against him and sat up staring into his eyes. He found her eyes and stared into them. She had turned back into someone else as she often did when she had to be with people besides him. She pushed her hair back and stood up making sure that she looked proper in a mirror on the wall. I stand up but avoid looking in the mirror. I know that I'll look strange next to her. It isn't something I should see anyway.

"We should get out of here before it gets too late. I have to work on my Transfiguration essay..and the Potions essay I've put off as well." She looked back to him pouting her bottom lip. "You going to help me?"

"Why would I say no?" Severus tried to sound light as he said this, but he knew it didn't sound that happy. She looked at him and took his hand in her's. He felt her hand shaking, trembling. He squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry..it's just.."

"You're still worried about Lucius finding out..is that it?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

She nodded her head and stared at their hands a while, then back to him with a serious glance. "It isn't fair to you is this? What I've done..that I'm putting you in danger."

He just stared at her, reaching out a hand to touch her face. He thought of Lucius, and how he'd been one of the few people to talk to him; much less befriend him. Was it betrayal being here with her? He of all people knew the wrath of Lucius, he'd watched and studied it. A few hexes he'd even taught him; though Severus had taught himself almost everything. When he didn't reply to her question she pulled away and walked out the door. He stuck his hands in his pocket and leaned against the wall letting his oily hair fall into his face. He stared at the necklace she'd left and walked over pocketing it. He'd give it to her later.

Severus sat next to Persephone at supper, though it wasn't that big a deal he felt. Lucius had sent him a letter asking him to continue 'watching over' her. He was relieved though that Malfoy hadn't assumed 

that their private time had gone further than just studying. His eyes went from his plate to her, where she talked softly to a girl across from her.

"Is it true your Mother's having your dress made in Paris?"

"Yes, it was Lucius's mother's idea. I really didn't care either way…"

"You're so stupid sometimes Persephone. Any girl in Slytherin would kill for your position!"

"I'm sorry..I only meant that I don't care about the dress."

His eyes wandered back to the Gryffindor table, where James Potter was leaning over whispering something to Lily. She smiled and whispered something back and then she stuck her tongue out playfully at him. He forced his gaze back to his food and took a bite. Even now Lily still caught his eye, still made his heart pound. He should have known that damned Potter would have her. He was popular, athletic. He'd been born to a happy family. It was only natural that he'd get her love..get everything..

Slowly people began to leave, and most of the people around them all left talking eagerly about someone's secret stash of fire whiskey. He looked back to Lily, wondering if James did love her. If he understood the things she felt, how hard being muggle born was for her.

A hand brushed against his leg. He put his hand down by his thigh, and felt her fingers brushing over his. Her eyes were at a group of Slytherins down the table, but he knew where her attentions were. She got up after a moment, looking to him then the door before going out without gazing back at him. He took his cue, following after her. A few yards from the door she turned into the girl's lavatory and pulled him in with her. She gazed around to be sure it was empty than sealed the door. He watched her confused about what she was doing.

"I can make you forget her. I promise, I'll put Lily Evans from your mind…we don't even..we don't have to sleep together again but I need to have you close to me Sev. I know that just seeing her makes you look empty and sad, and I want to make you smile."

He stared back at her, and shook his head. "I don't even care about Evans anymore.."

"I can tell when you're lying." She took his hand again, holding it in her's. "Just think about it alright?"

Somewhere behind the door someone was calling out her name, and she sighed. "I've forgotten he and Mother came to talk with me…let's meet in the library.."

"No, it's too easy for someone to find us there. Let's just..let's meet back on the grounds in the quidditch locker room from earlier. It's a while away from the castle but it's safer for us to be." Severus watched her, and looked to the door. "You go..and I'll wait then slip out."

She stared at their hands, and nodded back up to him. "I'll be there at midnight. We'll meet then." She let go, and unsealed the door sliding out.

Severus couldn't walk around the castle without feeling like people were reading his thoughts. He had hoped to release the pent up energy, but the day had built into something strange and fierce that he couldn't understand. He closed his eyes and bumped harshly into someone, feeling a wand pointed at his chest threateningly. He looked up to see Sirius. It wasn't like the many times they'd met up and exchanged spells, it was something different.

"I don't know what Persephone is thinking…but I don't want you 'round my cousin. You just looking at her disgusts me….Merlin knows that if I even see you glance at her wrong I'll do worse to you than what your little muggle hating friends want to do to innocent.."

Severus pushed Sirius's wand from his chest and pulled his wand out quickly pointing his wand at him taking his turn to speak. "I'm helping her in Potions. Whatever I do with your cousin is none of your concern..besides, she's Malfoy's. I have nothing but admiration for.."

"For what? The fact they know how to taunt and kill muggles? I know about what you and my brother are joining into.." Sirius looked at him with a glare and turned around. "If you're friends with her, then you'll keep her from that."

Severus waited til he was sure the other man was gone before heading out to the grounds. As he crossed them in the dark he was reminded of where Potter had saved his life and he felt like shooting hexes at the Whomping Willow. His own curiosity had almost cost him his life; and for what? To have him indebted to that git of all people. The grounds felt cold and distant, but he had no fear of the dark. He'd spent so much of his childhood outside the house hiding from home that being out alone meant nothing.

He walked into the locker room, and sat down considering Persephone's words. How could he forget Lily, when they'd spent their childhood together. When he had been so sure they'd be that close forever; surely she could still rekindle their friendship? He felt like a hopeless fool and closed his eyes. It felt like ages he sat there, going over every encounter with Lily, every glance every word. Finally the door opened and he looked up. Persephone peered outside before closing the door and sealing it. She kept her back to him, just staring at the door as if making sure it would stay sealed.

"Persephone?" He got up and walked over, but when he touched her shoulder she winced. He hadn't realized it at first, but she was shaking harshly. He rested his hand there, and turned her gently and stared at her face. There was an outline of a hand, and clearly a blast mark from a wand. She bit her lower lip, and shook her head.

"Who did this to you?" Severus felt himself fill with rage at the sight. He knew the way she looked at him, the same trapped expression he'd seen on his mother when his father had unleashed his fury at her. The same look of fear and silence that he hated of her, and was worried over. He kept holding her shoulders, staring into her eyes. "Who did this?!"

"I made Lucius mad….he demanded that I not even speak to Sirius anymore..I don't know how he found out..and so I told him that he was my cousin and refused to stop. So he got cross..and..hit me..and then he tried to hex me..missed.." She drew a soft breath and tried to hold back tears.

Severus broke the space between them in a swift movement and put his arms around her pulling her so she was resting against his chest. He felt her continue to shake even in his arms and he felt the same anger come out as it did when he saw his father raise a hand to his mother. And to himself..

He silently thought of Lucius, of how he'd viewed the man with fear and respect. Now he was just angry, pissed off at the idea he could hit this girl just for talking to someone. She stopped shaking after a while and she looked up at him. He rummaged in one of his pockets and pulled a small bottle out, pouring a little liquid onto his fingers and smoothing it over where her face was injured.

"That feels really cold.." She whispered watching him. She eyed the bottle curiously and he put it back in his pocket.

"Healing salve. I used to make it for my Mum when Dad was angry…" He looked over as her skin slowly healed, and cradled her to him as she finally began to cry softly against him.

"He just snapped, and then..his face it was just as calm as if he'd done nothing…left me there and my Mother didn't even say anything when I came out all hurt..she just told me I needed to learn my place.."

Severus kissed her head, and sat down holding her to him. She cried a while, and he spoke softly to her trying to calm her down. "I won't let him do that to you again..I promise..I won't let anyone hurt you Persephone.."

**A/N--I really loved this chapter...the development of Severus as a young adult is always something I've wanted to tackle so I'm really proud of this. I hope you're all enjoying it.**

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debjunk--Yeah, the thing about it is that they are both in situations they can't control.


	4. A Sister's Advice

Severus wanted to stay with her every free moment now. He had ideas of being with her between classes, during classes, to completely protect her from everything. It was his new mission, his aspiration for himself. She had to keep reminding him when they were alone that he had to stay a little distant. Lucius's spies were always around her. They found time alone in various places, but he couldn't stand the thought of her being alone. The back of the library was where they decided to meet early that Saturday morning. He found her waiting against the shelf; her robes wrapped tightly around her as she stared at a book pretending to be fascinated by it. She looked up at him and smiled with relief.

"Severus.." She put her arms around his neck, and he held her there. No one was in the library that early in the morning; he had made sure to check before coming to her. He caressed her face, and kissed her mouth gingerly. She kissed him back and leaned towards the bookshelf to look at him.

"There's a Hogsmeade trip today…is he coming for you?" His voice was hushed and she could tell from his expression that he loathed the idea. She shook her head but still seemed a bit nervous at the idea of going.

"No Bella has taken it upon herself to take me for a while though. She says she took the afternoon to spend with me…says she wants to talk to me about things."

Severus shook his head a little. He'd hoped she would be free and they could have the afternoon together, but he thought about it and decided he'd tag along somehow. He knew nothing of Bellatrix, but he still wanted to be sure she was safe. He didn't trust her with any family after her mother allowed Lucius to hurt her.

"I'll keep an eye on you…pretend to be shopping or something.."

"Oh if she catches you she'd hex you for sure though! I don't want to lose this..us..she won't hurt me I promise you. She may just scold me a bit.."

"They wouldn't be so mad if you kept your distance from Sirius. You and I both know that's why they're so mad at you.." They'd had the argument many times in the last few weeks; between kisses and whispers he often mentioned it and she would end up mad.

"I told you..Uncle Alphard's gold isn't going to be enough. I'm just helping Sirius out a little..a few galleons here..some things I've stolen back from his Mother's house. He's one of the only close friends I've ever had..since we were children. Would you just.." She stopped however and looked away.

Severus knew why she'd stopped. She was worried she'd brought Lily to his mind and that he'd be angry with her as well. He considered pretending to be angry about that; but he wouldn't be the cause of any of her pain He put his arms around her again and pulled her close. "I know…I just think that you're going to end up hurting yourself worse if you keep talking to him…"

She looked at him and smiled coyly, resting her head on his shoulder. "Oh really? Well fine then..I'll just use the secret time I have with you..and spend it with my cousin instead."

"I forbid that then.." He smiled despite himself and looked at her. He thought back to the invitation he'd received from Regulus to a meeting of the group they were starting the 'Death Eaters' as they were calling themselves. He considered going to that instead…but still he felt better around Persephone to watch over her.

"Forbid it? Oh I've forgotten you put yourself in charge of my affairs..forgive me.." She laughed and shook her head smoothing her fingers through his hair as she spoke. "Come on…I promise that I won't even mention Sirius around Bella…you go have your fun. You can't just spend all your time around me..sooner or later someone will catch on if you do that. Don't you want to go buy me something?"

Severus then remembered something and fished in his pocket pulling out her necklace with the engagement ring. They both stared at it silently and she took it from him with hesitance. He unclasped it and put it around her neck, but she took the ring off before he could. The Black family crest hung from her neck, and Lucius's damned ring she slid onto her ring finger. It looked strange there, shining a sickly green color as if it knew their secret.

"I guess I should go get ready. Bella's visit means that I have to look as nice as possible. Mum always said she was the prettiest out of us.."

"I doubt that.." Severus sighed though and leaned back against the bookshelf. "If you can get away…let's meet somewhere…surely your sister can't take all your time up?"

She watched him and twisted the ring on her finger as she considered. "The Shrieking Shack..even if it's haunted we can just stand out near it and talk. If anything maybe people will assume we're ghosts..leave us alone.."

He winced at the memory of what had gone on there; but nodded his head. "That sounds good to me….I'll see you there then.." He kissed her, and was always hesitant about it. She didn't seem to care, she was fearless when she was within his grasp. She kissed him fiercely as if she knew it would be a while before they could again, kissing his mouth one last time for good measure.

"Behave yourself while I'm gone.." She smiled and combed her hair back with her fingers, blonde waves moving as she walked away. He sighed and wished he'd have asked her to stay with him. He hated the idea of being so far from her…dreaded it.

* * *

Bellatrix Lestrange hated to be kept waiting. She impatiently tapped her foot as she watched the Hogwarts students rush past; until she caught sight of a young woman rushing through the crowd towards her. She was not as tall as either of Bella's other sisters; but then Persephone had always been the baby of the sisters. That was why Bella had come in the first place. As the eldest it was her duty and she took any power she could in the family.

"You're late..I thought you said you would be here earlier.." Bella said dryly; waiting until the other woman had caught her breath.

"I'm sorry..I just lost track of time." In fact, Persephone did look as if she had. Her hair was left down; and she had a funny look on her face like she was half looking for someone.

"Lucius isn't here..it's just me..you need not worry.." She smiled hoping that was what it was. It was common knowledge that Persephone had argued against the wedding; but she could never fight anything and ended up quietly agreeing to it after crying for some time. She smoothed fingers through her sister's hair as she waited for an answer. This sisterly affection only seemed to make Persephone more nervous but she quickly calmed down and spoke.

"Oh..right sorry I must have forgotten..anyway what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Several things. After all, my baby sister is going to be married soon…when I was nine and you were born…oh you were such a fussy little thing. Now look, unlike our cousin you've become a fine daughter of the Black family."

She nodded obediently to her sister though she didn't like how she spoke about her. "Then why don't we go somewhere quieter and speak? I'd rather not have our affairs spoken about like rumours.."

Bellatrix gave a curt nod and hooked arms with the younger woman walking with her. Most of the students had already gone to various shops and to the Three Broomsticks so they were pretty much alone in their little walk. She led her into The Three Broomsticks but quickly up into one of the rooms. She remained silent as her sister sat her on the bed like she was still a child.

"Mum was going to come do this but..you know when she's busy she doesn't have much time for other affairs. You know Cissy is expecting a child don't you?"

"A child? Already? She's barely been married.." She couldn't help but look up at the idea of her sister as a mother but Bella just chuckled.

"It doesn't take long to get with child. So mother's been over there keeping an eye on her. You know how it takes nothing to get her ill.."

"Does Andromeda know?"

Bella's dark eyes flickered away as she rummaged through her closet there. The youngest Black daughter was silent staring at her feet nervously. Something was happening wasn't it? She thought of how her family had reacted upon hearing about Sirius's exodus from her aunt's house and then caught on.

"She's gone and married that boy then? Is that why you're so.."

"We have no sister. She's betrayed the rest of us by putting herself in such circumstances. Now hold still.." Bella had taken from the closet a beautiful box. She opened it revealing a silver tiara with what almost looked like Luna moth butterflies trapped as a veil attached to it. Green stones remained on it, with tiny flames in them. Dragon stones. The blonde girl remained completely still as her sister put it on her head and she felt the moths moving against her hair. It made her shiver.

"Is this for me?" She half whispered as if one word too loud would spook them. Bella just smiled and turned her head to get a better look.

"Mm..it does fit you very nicely. There was something else to discuss since you've brought up..her." It seemed forced; as if she were reminding herself that she could not say her sister's name. Persephone considered offering the word; to see if maybe it could be fixed. Fear of a scolding kept her lips silent. She took the tiara and replaced it in the box. She sat next to her on the bed and seemed to consider how to bring it up.

Persephone felt tiny and naïve next to her sister. Her sister had the dark hair and dark eyes of the Black family; and was tall and elegant. Next to that the younger sister felt completely useless and plain. Finally Bella spoke, her harsh voice louder from the earlier silence.

"Sirius was the same age as you. You two were close when we were children; I understand that Perssy darling. What comes of remaining so close to him is only the wrath of mother. The wrath of our entire family. Don't be as selfish as he and our former sister were. Don't pull away from the family. I know how weak you are…I know how scared you are. To run away would be stupid..foolish.."

Bella turned to her, holding her by her shoulders and staring into her eyes. She was trying to force the words, carve them into her. "I hope you fear it..fear the world without the safety of our family around us. Because without that fear you're as much a fool as them."

She got up and brushed herself off as if nothing had happened at all. She opened the door and put her hand out. "Come let me kiss you good bye…I have a husband to return to tonight. You'll know that feeling soon enough…"

The younger sister walked over to her, but took her sister's hand her own shaking in the stronger grip. She looked up at her speaking softly but quickly. "Lucius has hit me..he hurt me. If I were to be his wife and he continued in such a way..would you come help me? Would you..would Cissy? Mother has forsaken me.."

Bella took the younger girl's face in her hands and leaned over kissing her cheek. She spoke softly into her ear, but her words were as harsh as if she'd screamed. "I know why he hurt you. The same thing I warned you about today. Don't be a child when you walk down that aisle. You are a woman of our family and not a scared doe going towards a hunter."

It took a while for Persephone to move ,but she did. A step away from her sister, a step out the door. She knew she pushed past several people; but only went directly to the Shrieking Shack. She could see Severus's outline as he was obviously deep in thought about something. He turned when he heard the sound of her feet against the remaining snow and she stood beside him staring at the falling apart building feeling the tears in her eyes.

He couldn't stand to watch her in such a way. He reached out to caress her cheek; her face was ice cold. She didn't move when he touched her, even when he put his arms around her and held his arms around her waist resting his head against her's. It was as if she were trying to be stone; but when he kissed away her tears she gave a frightened whimper.

"Severus…" She didn't need to say anything more. He kissed her mouth, his warm lips felt as if they were melting away the fear. Somehow though; Persephone felt the icy cold fear remaining in her stomach. She could also feel the eyes watching them.

* * *

"My Dad's managed to owl me that my Mum's dead. Said she was ill a few months…didn't find the need to owl me til she was gone." Severus whispered the words against her shoulder his eyes closed. She stared at him giving a noise of pity.

"Oh Severus..when did he.."

"I only got it yesterday."

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have asked you to come help me with my Potions…Slughorn kept praising me in class though you heard him..asking me things and I'm sure I muddled what you'd told me.."

"Shh no. It's fine. I didn't want to be sitting around drowning in pity. I'd rather be here..be anywhere with you Sephone. You know that right?"

He opened his dark eyes to stare up at her. She seemed to be calmed by his words and nodded her head, biting her lower lip. "I know that..I'd rather be with you too.."

The slightly warm March breeze blew over them. They were behind a tree not far from the Shrieking Shack, where they could be alone. She could hear the sound of students calling out for each other to walk back to Hogwarts and knew that they'd have to go back soon.

"Do you mean that?" He didn't seem to care about anyone but themselves, and she nodded.

"Of course..you have to know that. I wouldn't be here..I wouldn't be this close to you if I didn't want to spend every free moment with you. You're my best mate..you're.." Persephone wasn't sure what to call what he was here resting against her. What their roles were. She was betrothed, wore another man's ring.

"We don't have to try to name it." Something suddenly embittered Severus and he stood up. She scrambled to get up as well seeing his obvious distress.

"What is it? Severus why are you so mad?"

"I'm not..if we don't head back now we'll be in trouble. Who knows what will happen if they find us out together alone this late…"

She wished she could argue. Say that she didn't care and that she would much prefer to be in his arms anyway. The idea of Bella still lurking around worried her however; and she gave a shy nod. "I suppose you're right…so I won't see you again tonight?"

"Tomorrow during lunch would be best. I've got some things to do..I have to write my father back..see if..what's to become of all of this…"

He walked ahead of her, and she trailed a few yards behind smoothing the dirt off of her robes so that she looked as neat as possible. She watched his outline, wishing she'd have asked him to rest there with her longer. She was really a coward. Bella's words pricked her heart as she recalled them and she hung her head lightly wrapping her arms around herself.

"I am too afraid to do anything.." She whispered.

* * *

**A/N--**_I tried really hard to think over what Bellatrix was like as a younger woman and would be towards her sisters. I really hope I managed to characterize her properly...In truth she's always been one of my favourite characters. I admire her determination and devotion to something beyond herself. Even if it was for Voldemort.._

**REVIEW REPLIES!**

**Stefany**--Yes, Lucius is one of those people I think that was always that awful and never found reason not to be. Thanks I'll do my best.

**Debjunk**--I like to think that her mother is in a position where she's learned to cut off family if the majority doesn't want them. She's..a more matured version of Persephone. She's just learned to turn away for fear of being blown off the family tree so to speak.


	5. Severus's Promise

* * *

**Severus and Persephone's lunch time meeting didn't happen.** She had hopefully glanced at him several times but it felt as if he were just ignoring her. She glanced down at her food; but couldn't find any hunger at all. She heard some people down the table talking eagerly about some attack against muggles but she didn't include herself in any of their chatter. She managed to get up and walk towards the door. Each step she listened intently in hope that she would hear his steps after her but it was silent. Nothing.

Outside the Great Hall she wanted to cry. Before she was sure he'd be there whispering to her. Say something comforting. All she felt was alone. She remained there until she heard the giggling of young girls. One of the younger Slytherin girls came up to her with a smile waving frantically as if she were a celebrity. The other girls just stared jealously.

"Persephone Black! I almost didn't see you..it must be the lighting in here. You look really sad; is something wrong?"

"Oh no..I was just thinking about….N.E.W.T's…they're coming up in a few months and I've just got to start cramming for them…"

"Oh you shouldn't worry too much. You'll be married to that Malfoy boy right? You won't have to do much of anything in that position…I doubt you'll ever have to work….I'm so jealous.."

"Yes married. Don't be jealous..I'm more jealous of you.."

The girl laughed as if it were a joke and walked off after some of her friends who were all talking jealously about marrying 'pure'. She felt her blonde hair fall around her face as she choked back a sob, walking the opposite direction towards Transfiguration. Or towards nothing. At this point..it didn't matter much to her. Sirius saw her and looked around before pulling her aside into a hallway so they wouldn't be seen.

"You're going to be okay..what's wrong now?" Sirius spoke quietly to her.

"Sirius..I just..I just want to die…" She wrapped her arms around her. "And..and..Severus..he's mad at me or something.."

He watched her a while and patted her shoulder. "Would it help if I hexed him a bit? James has just taught me this amazing new hex and.."

"I don't want you to hex him Siri." She sighed again and leaned back against the wall. "If you could hex Lucius's engagment ring to bits it might cheer me up.."

"Hah, as if..I know the Malfoys will have cursed it to anyone that hurts that thing." He watched her downcast face and put an arm around her shoulders with a smile. "Come on then..let's play exploding snap and get that sad face off. Keep doing that you'll look more like Bellatrix...then I'll be too scared to talk to you; and who else could supply me with fresh gossip about Mum and Dad?"

* * *

Severus wanted to chase after her as she walked away. It was almost instinct now; to sneak after her. He could almost feel the cool smooth skin of her body. He forced himself to take another bite. Then another. Another. He stared and wondered if being poisoned felt like this slow agony. The harsh filling of his stomach with the food he didn't want. He stared down the table at their classmates. These were the people that Persephone and Lucius would have over for dinner. Would be friends with; would raise their children to see as 'their people'. He wouldn't fit into that at all. He would never be able to be like Lucius; would never have influence. Why would Persephone want to be with him then? He would have nothing.

The Princess in fairytales never ran away with the half blood nobody. She went with the rich powerful prince. He imagined Lucius's smug face and stared angrily at the utensil in his hand as if it were all its fault. He threw his fork and as it flew between the two girls at the table across from him they both gave gasps of fright. He got up and walked out with his bag over his shoulder. His greasy hair fell into his face; and he let it do so. He could hear Sirius call something out to him as he was coming back into the Great Hall but he ignored him.

"I could have really done an impressive curse there.." He murmured imagining an exchange with Sirius but even that wasn't going to help him out. He just couldn't wrap his head around doing anything but going after her. Somehow Severus was going to have to move up in the world to impress her. His mind went over and over…until finally he realized he did have the power within his grasp. He turned on his heel towards the Slytherin table again. He had it. He knew how to make everything work in his favour. In their favour. He thought of his recent purchase at Hogsmeade too; that sure enough would win some hope for him?

* * *

Persephone had really tried on her potion. She'd put all her effort into doing just as the textbook had told her; but something hadn't worked out right. With her new found 'good efforts' on her papers she knew Slughorn would be appauled if she screwed something like this up. She must have done something wrong though..she looked over the page again. Everyone else seemed to have had a thick white potion; her's was still much to thin and almost a beige color. She bit her lip before feeling a hand against her's. She looked over to see Severus. She made sure no one saw them before speaking quietly.

"What are you doing? What if someone sees…"

"You didn't put enough of the whomping willow seeds in it..here.." He pushed them carefully in and as the potion became whiter she kept stirring it lightly. Her focus however was on how close he was. How he smelled like crisp autumn air. She wanted to burrow into his chest and feel him breathing against her skin.

"There see…it's all fixed.."

"Severus..I'm sorry if I upset you…I don't understand what I did but.."

"You don't need to feel sorry. I was just in a bad mood. What do you have after this class?"

She tried to seem busy staring into the cauldron and stirring it lightly; but she whispered so only he could hear. "Transfiguration.."

"Do you want to sneak out somewhere with me?"

"Well get detention.." She smiled though daring to look up towards him. If anyone asked she could easily say he was explaining the potion to her. Lucius seemed easy enough to believe that; with Slughorn's constant praise even in first year of the young man.

"We won't…I'll say I had made a mess in here and had to clean it up...you can say you got sick.."

He reached over to get a flask for her to put the potion into and his hand lingered over her's. He looked around to be sure no one was paying attention before he took the engagement ring from her finger replacing it into her palm. He poured some of her potion into the flask and walked it up for her. She stared after him, taking note of the more confident way he walked up there. Had he always been like that; or had something changed? She imagined it had been their..what would they call it? Their secret love? It sounded like one of those silly romance novels that Cissy used to read..she blushed and stared into the empty cauldron.

They had their meeting that class schedule; and another after it. It was as if they'd both realized being seperated pulled the harsh reality back to them; neither could afford to see too much of the real world out of each other's eyes. It remained like that for a long while. Secret meetings…skipping classes. Hands caressing hands. March had faded into April; the warmer weather had most students outside where studying for the end of the year tests seemed a little easier and brighter. This made sneaking around for them all the more easier.

Their usual spot to meet was a classroom they'd discovered was only used on Wednesday's by the Slytherin Quidditch team to discuss plays. There they could speak in confidence; express their fears; and be themselves for once. It had no windows; and only a chalkboard and a few couches around. Discarded Quidditch equipment was around too; but that was easily ignored for the almost romantic setting of the stone room with candles lighting it. She'd even once brought in a bottle of something; and once she opened it the room smelled like orchids. It had been a late Christmas gift from Sirius; and though Severus disliked the young man he knew that it smelled much better with it around. The classroom became their home; once or twice she'd left the bottle but the quidditch boys had left it alone.

There in their meeting place was where they were when Severus discovered it. She wasn't wearing her robes; she'd pulled them off and was wearing a knee length grey sundress. Her fingers were brushing over the chalkboard staring as the white accumulated on her skin. He was watching this and began to speak, wanting to ask why she'd been late when he saw the bruise along the back of her shoulder. It was a violent purple color; almost black. He stood up and looked to be sure that's what it was and took her hand letting the chalk dust brush onto his hand as well.

"He's hurt you again! Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was nothing…I promise I just bumped myself against something." He could tell she was lying from the way she pulled away. He turned her towards him and she stilled letting him look it over. It had a companion behind her neck. His long fingers trailed over it and she shivered. "I'd left my wand Severus..and I wasn't going to let him..let him."

"What? What was he demanding of you now? You never see Sirius much; and when you do I make sure Lucius's mates are all distracted. How can he be angry at you now?"

"Severus I don't want to think about it. I'm not Persephone here..and you're not Severus. We're just two people…we're not those roles in here. I don't want what he does in here." She pulled her robes from the floor and wiped the dust against them taking her hand from his grasp. When she finished she sat down and he sat besides her taking her hand back. She watched him caressing her fingers.

"I care about you Persephone. Even if we weren't doing this; weren't meeting I'd still want to know. It's too late..I can't go back to not being concerned about you. Why did he hurt you again?"

"I wouldn't let him take my robes off…I just kept rambling on about how close the wedding was and how he just had to wait and he hit me…I got up and shoved him back..I couldn't find my wand at first..then when I did I stunned him.."

"That's why you were late..is he still there? I'll..

"No. Sirius was outside the door when I opened it; he says he was looking for me..he did some sort of hex on Lucius. He should have woken up by now…Merlin knows he's probably thrown the castle upside down to find me.."

"Persephone.."

"No look it's fine. I don't even want to think about it now Severus..it doesn't matter! He's just going to be angry when I see him…"

"So you'll just let him hit you like this? Beat away at you like you're his house elf?"

"You sound like Sirius..I have to do this. It'll get easier..he's just…stressed out. I don't want to think or talk about him now."

"Persephone I…."

"No I don't want to argue about this anymore alright? I just..I can't do this now."

She got up to leave but Severus grasped her hand too tightly. She looked at him her eyes pleading to escape when she saw him get down on his knee. It was a sharp contrast. When Lucius had done it; they were in a hall of people and the sound of glasses clinking and eager chatter had filled the air. He'd brushed himself off beforehand to be sure he looked perfect. She'd known it was coming and had just coldly nodded as people clapped louder and louder.

Now however; all Persephone could hear was the sound of her heart pounding and his nervous breath as he fumbled in his pocket. His hair, much less greasy since she'd taken to washing his hair when they were alone much to his embarrassment, was falling around his face. The ring he pulled from his pocket was a silver band with music notes carved into the side. She watched him slide it onto her finger, and she felt tears drip down her eyes as she watched the music notes dancing around the band playfully.

"I don't want..I don't want this to be just..just us sleeping together. Just hiding and living in secrets. You promised me you'd help me forget Lily and I have; but I can't just..stand by and watch you marry Lucius. I..am going to be a part of something big. I'll have more influence..I can do more for you than Lucius. I can have a bigger house...we could have anything you'd want.." He stiffened and froze in position as her fingers reached out to hush him into silence.

"Severus..you could live in a box outside the sewers of London and I'd prefer to be there with you than anywhere with him.." She bent down and wrapped her arms around his neck resting against him until she'd ended up atop him and he'd fallen back. He just grinned up at her; holding his arms around her waist.

"Then you'll do it? You'll marry me?"

"Of course I will…" She smoothed her finger against his face. Even then in that happy moment; she knew that they couldn't treat this childishly. If she knew anything; being practical was the common ground most people had to have. "But..this isn't going to be very easy…you realize that don't you? I know I'm of age but.."

"We'll run away right after graduation. All those people..it'd be easy for us to creep out..we could escape somehow so no one could stop us until we've done it." He put his hand over her's; holding her hand against his face.

"Alright…then after graduation..we'll escape.." She repeated it to herself and nodded eagerly. She stared down at the ring he'd given her; how she couldn't bear the idea of taking it off. She heard the knowing sound of students rushing to class and she sighed. "Damn…I can't miss Divination again.."

He helped her up and pulled the robes over her, his eyes locking onto her. She'd said yes; they would be married. Finally after all of the suffering they could be happy. He watched as she put his ring on her index finger, but she left Lucius's ring on her necklace. He felt relieved his was the only ring she was wearing; like a sign of good faith. She reached up and kissed him; before quickly dashing out of the classroom.

He soon enough left after her to class, running into a late Regulus on the way. "Hey..I've been looking for you..we're all going out to Hogsmeade..smuggling ourselves out really. Voldemort himself is going to be there to see us.."

He looked back to him with a confident nod. This Voldemort; Dark Lord; blast whatever they called him. All Severus knew was that with this man laid power; despite his own half blood state. He would prove loyal to him and earn more favour than anyone else. Then he would out power Lucius. He could save Persephone to be his and only his.

* * *

**A/N--I feel like this chapter wasn't done properly. ''' I really did. I rewrote it several times; but still it feels unsure with me. I really hope you've all enjoyed this so far; I take suggestions very seriously so go ahead and speak your minds!**

**REVIEW REPLY:**

**Debjunk:** Oh thank you so much! I was really relieved when you said that. Bella is such an important character to me that I was really nervous about putting my version of her out there..


	6. Narcissa's Happy Smile

**Sirius Black had always found himself feeling unnaturally different from his family.** His mother and father cooed excitedly over his brother as soon as he was born, and he felt relieved about this. Their constant eyeing him speaking about him as if any minute he'd inherit and they'd be gone was unnerving at the very least. He knew though that their favour would fall on this 'Regulus' instinctively but didn't mind any. His focus was only on enjoying himself; in preparing himself for his inevitable chance at Hogwarts. Indeed, when he didn't share their pureblood fascination it made perfect sense that he would be the lesser son though first born. The only enjoyment he had from his family was the entertaining time he spent at his Uncle Cygnus's house. His cousin Bellatrix always seemed in a strange mood, and was far too much older to be a playmate of his. Cissy was her eager shadow and wouldn't dream of wasting time on 'children' as she referred to her cousins and her younger sisters. So only in Andromeda and the majority of the time Persephone did he find relief.

Andromeda was like him. She had a free spirit about her, and in that he found a companion. She talked eagerly about wanting to run off on a broomstick and train dragons somewhere. She had fantastic hopes for herself, and always offered that Sirius could join in on them. Persephone was much different from all of her sisters though. She didn't have Bellatrix and Cissy's strange attitude of superiority, or the free spirit Andromeda had always had. She only seemed to want to please people, and acted delighted even if what was brought forward wasn't something she liked. She was gentle, and he decided that he would take care of her like a younger sister. He found the compassion for her there much more possible than any protection he would have ever given Regulus.

That was why he was waiting impatiently in the third floor trophy room for said cousin. He knew he could reschedule his 'study' date with the seventh year Hufflepuff, but still was going to complain if her request wasn't important. She hadn't directly come up to him to ask to meet him, instead one of the school's owls landed promptly at his table during breakfast with an anonymous note. He knew the small nervous looking handwriting almost instantly despite no name being on it, and had come up after supper to wait for her. He heard rushing footsteps towards him and stepped back against one of the display cases with a wand in hand in case it was a nosy prefect.

"Sirius?" Her head popped around the corner to stare at him. The chestnut eyes gazed around the trophy room finding him almost instantly. Her expression was full of relief as she walked in looking back to check for anyone before approaching him. "Thank goodness…I was worried you wouldn't come.."

"Whatever gave you that impression?"

She gave a coy smile and shook her head. "You were flirting with some girl this morning..I thought being somewhere with her might take precedence over me..."

"Hardly….anyway what is it we're here for?"

"I wanted to ask you firstly...if you'd seen Andromeda since I last did. Mother had been telling me she was off traveling but...I have a feeling Bellatrix doesn't want to preserve the lie and told me that she'd gotten married."

He stared at her incredulously and she just stopped speaking. She gave a light nod understanding his stare, so her instinct had been right about the whole affair. "So it's been longer then that; how long she has been..."

"She is married. She has been a while...in fact I went before the school year started to see her and her daughter..."

"She has a baby?"

"She's 2 or 3 I believe..." Sirius sat down resting his head against the case twirling his wand thoughtlessly in his fingers. "You never mentioned it so I figured you were upset and didn't want to discuss it."

Persephone ran her fingers through her light hair with a sigh of disbelief. Once again she'd been kept out of family affairs and most likely 'for her own good'. She imagined her sister with her lovely brown curls and the same dark eyes as Bellatrix. It had really been so long, and her letters were so empty she'd half imagined her sister had forgotten about Persephone. Now it all made more sense. She checked the room again before sitting down beside him. "Is she lovely? Her daughter?"

He watched her and felt a pang of guilt. He wished he had taken pictures or something, and thought a moment before stopping his wand and eyeing it. "Let me see if I can do this right..I barely pay attention when Lupin does these things...but it seemed dead useful..." He gave his wand an elegant twirl and breathed out the words, "Formelas Rios."

From his wand a sprinkle of lights in various colors swirled around and a life sized clear form of a child appeared. She had a round pale face and was busily trying to ride a toy broomstick but she seemed to end up falling more than flying. Her hair each time she fell flickered from pink to purple. The child disappeared after a few moments and he watched her expression as it softened into delight.

"Oh she's a metamorphmagus! She's beautiful what's her name?"

"Nymphadora. Ted just calls her Dora though. She's really clumsy..it's really kind of cute."

He had expected her to retain the delighted face she had when the image of the girl had appeared but instead her eyes filled with tears. She sat back and seemed to still staring at the spot as if the image was still there. He reached over to touch her but she simply shook her head raising her hand. "I'm fine really I am. It's just..I might never have known this at all if Bella hadn't told me Andy was married. I always knew she fancied Ted but I didn't think that she'd..."

The sound of footsteps made them quiet except for her movements as she wiped her eyes. When it was silent again he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry..I really assumed you just didn't want to talk about it and that's why you hadn't brought it up. I'm sure she'll come to graduation..she'll probably even Ted and Nymphadora."

She stilled at the word 'graduation' and he watched as she bit her lip staring at the far wall. She rarely had such a reaction to anything so he raised an eyebrow as she spoke. "That was um…what else I wanted to talk to you about as well."

From her expression he gave a slight grin moving closer. "You've decided to agree to my suggestion then? I promise Uncle Alphred's gift..I've saved up..I've even bought a house now. You can stay there with me after graduation! It won't be easy at first, but it is so worth it. I promise..it'll be amazing Sephone.."

"That isn't it." She hated to cut him off. Since he'd left he had offered over and over to help her leave her own house as he had done. She didn't want him to get too excited before he found out the truth. She sat up brushing her robes down as she spoke. "Um..I am..going to end up removed from the family most likely..but I'm not marrying Lucius."

"Okay.." He would have been glad she'd decided this if it weren't for the strange expression she had. "So what are you going to do then?"

"After the graduation ceremony..Severus and I are going to find a way out of Hogwarts. We're going to elope."

He really wished it was a joke. He wanted to be able to laugh and shake his head telling her that she needed to be serious about things like that but he could tell she was being serious. While he was silent she slid the silvery band off of her finger and showed it to him with a hesitance. He stared at it a while but really was trying to make sense of this.

"With Snape? Look I'm all for you not marrying Malfoy, I'm really proud of that. My issue in this situation is the fact you want to end up with him of all people! He's into weird things like Regulus. Those pureblood fanatics..it'll be just like staying with our family except you'll still be removed from it! What's the point in that?"

She didn't look down embarrassed as he'd thought she would. Instead she stared at him and put the ring back on her middle finger and stood up. "I thought you'd be happy for me Sirius..I thought you'ld want me to be happy. Andromeda is happy with him..and just because you don't like Severus.."

He got up instantly putting a sharp grip on her arm. She didn't gaze up at him so he bent to her eye level. "Listen to me..I want you to be happy Persephone. No one wants that more than I do….but all I can see coming from this is pain for you."

She stared at the hand he had holding her there. It broke her heart to see that face he made, like he knew that she couldn't be happy with Severus. She was sure she could though, and moved his hand from her shoulder. "I have faith in Severus. Just like I have faith in you. I have to get back, I've got things to get to and you have a girl or two to enchant.."

He didn't reply. She didn't seem to expct him to, she'd gotten what she'd wanted from him. Mainly she was in a hurry to get away before he could realize what she'd taken when she'd surprised him with that news.

* * *

"Severus.." He had been in the Slytherin boy's dorm reading over his notes he was writing in one of his textbooks when he heard the voice whisper to him. He had been alone, and it made him jump slightly as his silence was broken. He waited and watched as Persephone came from the doorway, and remained still. He was worried from her expression that she had been convinced otherwise, but the sight of his finger on her ring was a little relieving if anything.

"Yeah, sorry I was just catching up on something.." He closed his book and sat up to watch her. "What's wrong?"

"Regulus was talking to one of the girl's I was walking with earlier, and he commented about you and some others joining him in Hogsmeade to do something."

Severus waited in silence. So she didn't know about his plan to join these Death Eaters. He knew that she had viewed the pureblood fascination with annoyance, and that this might make her angry at first. He wanted to secure his position before he finally told her about it all. When he didn't show any sign of replying she kept talking quietly.

"I know that..it's hard to get out of the castle for most people. But I have an idea..of how you can look like a hero in this..group of your's. I know whatever it is, it's important to you. So, I managed to borrow something from Sirius to help you.." She reached into her pocket and put out a piece of parchment. He blinked at it a while, as if expecting to see something he hadn't seen before. She raised her wand and tapped it quietly. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.."

He watched as it scrawled out into a large map of Hogwarts. He gazed at it and then up at her. "You're brilliant..but how does this help?"

She ran a finger over it to the fourth floor. "Here..do you know where that mirror is..the rather large one that flickers funny if you stare at it too long?"

"Yeah.."

"You go to it..run your wand along the left side of the frame and say 'Peach Blossoms'. It'll open into a door. I went and checked before I came here..you can all say you're on the way to the library if anyone catches onto you. It's a while away from the mirror. You just hit it with the edge of you wand and it seals back up again."

Severus watched over the map then up at her. "You did this..just so I could impress them.."

She seemed suddenly embarrassed and nodded. "Sorry..it just..it seemed like you and Regulus were becoming rather close and I thought it was nice you were finally..fitting in well. So I wanted to help."

"No I'm..thanks. Sorry it just surprised me that's all. You snuck into the boy's dorms too..shame shame.." He tried to cheer her up and put a hand on her face smiling as he traced her cheek. She ran her fingers over his hand giving the same smile back.

"Well, everyone's off watching the quidditch game…we'll probably lose though. We've lost the last game we played Gryffindor as well."

"Way to have house spirit…still don't know how you ended up a Slytherin..." He leaned over and kissed her. He enjoyed the perfume like smell she had, that rose scent that he only smelled when he was this close to her. She kissed back, and he pushed her down his bed. His fingers smoothed confidently through her hair, almost as if he knew every inch of her by memory. She let him deepen the kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck to keep him there above her. The far off noise of her common sense reminded her they were in the boy's dorms. She was here on his bed, and that if anyone came in and gazed to the left of the doorway the sight of them was almost too hard to miss.

"We better not…not here Severus.." She whispered against his lips moving her arms away from his neck.

"Oh come on…the game'll last ages.." He tried to begin the kiss again but she gave a giggle against his mouth shaking her head. Her fingers fumbled along the bed for the parchment, waiting for him to move of his own accord. He sighed and did just that; sitting up to watch her. She folded the map up into her pocket and leaned over putting her arm around his neck hugging him. He pretended to be pouty about it, but instead kissed her lips one more time with a sigh. "Fine then…"

"Are you going to be this difficult all the time Mr. Snape? Because frankly I won't have it.." She gave a teasing smirk as she stood up.

"I have to go with Remus and his friends to plan out our escape tonight..decide when to do it…do you want to try and meet up somewhere afterword?" He hopefully mentioned before she could leave. She seemed to consider it a while then sighed.

"I can't..I'm supposed to have Cissy after lunch tomorrow. She says she's got a gift for me or something. I haven't seen her since she got married. So I need to get as much sleep as I can.."

"Then after that?"

"I can't afford to miss another divination..we've got it with Gryffindor so Lucius's friends will all be making sure I'm not talking to Sirius. Me not being there at all will be all the more suspicious.."

Severus gave a disappointed sigh and this made her walk over and poke his forehead. "Fine, after divination we'll meet up and have this little snogging session you've got your heart set on."

She walked away with her hands behind her back and before she left he called out to her, "I had more on my mind than snogging.." A playful smirk crossed his mouth before he went back to his notes.

* * *

Lunch seemed to last a long time the next day. Persephone's mind drifted to how she could manage to focus any longer on this wedding, the one that she intended never to attend. Maybe nodding her head to flowers and swans, and Merlin knew what else they wanted, would be easier now that she wouldn't actually do it. She put her fork down and decided to walk outside where she was to meet with Cissy. Yes, now it all seemed easier if she took it all as pretend. After all, that's what the wedding to Lucius would be right? Imaginary.

"Seffy!" The old nickname called out from nowhere. The grounds of the castle were empty around lunch, so it wasn't hard to finally catch sight of Narcissa standing there. She was in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, like any muggle would dress. She was holding a rather large messenger bag on her shoulder, and it bounced as she waved. She stared blankly at this until a snap of her sister's fingers made her run forward for fear of displeasing her. When she got there and they were in private though Narcissa gave an amused grin. It looked alien against her mouth. She reached out, her eyes gazing over the rounded stomach as if she were indeed her pregnant sister. She figured better then that though.

"You're not Narcissa…" Persephone whispered fearfully looking her over. "Not her at all.."

"I should hope I at least look like her. Do you know how hard it was for me to get a bit of her hair? I was following her all around Paris for hours until finally I snipped and disappeared back home. Anyway, it can't last forever, so let's walk and catch up darling. I didn't have much polyjuice potion left.."

"Andromeda! It's really you! Oh Andy!" Her sister gave her a little smirk and she hugged her scooping her into her arms. She didn't care that she looked childish jumping into her sister's arms like this, she was too happy to care. "I'm so sorry..I didn't get why your letters were so empty..I thought you were mad at me..Mum said you were traveling and then Bella told me.."

"Shh, I know. Most of my letters came back to me from Mum's owl though. I figured she was taking all the letters you were getting from me…but I'm really happy Persephone. I really am..and as soon as you can I want you to see Dorry and Ted."

"Do you know I'm intended to marry Lucius Malfoy?" Persephone whispered like it was a grave secret. Her heart wanted to explode with every event of her life for her sister. Narcissa's mouth looked strange again as it twisted into a delighted grin and two arms wrapped around her clutching her harder.

"Our Sirius has informed me that you're doing otherwise.." She whispered. Even if it came out as Cissy's voice, she recognized the naughty delight her sister found in speaking this. "That you intend on marrying some boy named Severus. And apparently he's a git..at least from Sirius's opinion."

Persephone couldn't help but smile. So he'd told her, he'd written her to inform her of everything. It was good she wouldn't have to bring it up herself, it still seemed like a dream she'd come up with on her own. However, she realized again what it meant and spoke on. "Is it awful? To have the family angry at you? I saw the blast mark on the family tree..where you used to be Andy."

"I could care much less if they saw me as 'bad' or whatever they want to call me. I guess it was a little lonely at first…I saw Bella in Diagon Alley the week before last. She looked at me, and I thought she would cry right there. But instead she gave me the dirtiest look and spoke to that awful Rudolph of her's 

about how I was shameful. Nymphadora and I just walked on as if we didn't know her. But I couldn't imagine being married to someone just because the family wanted me to..it doesn't seem right at all that we should have to do that. So if you really love this Severus boy..then you should do it."

"The only thing is I wanted to sort of..not tell anyone. I wanted us to runaway after graduation but I wasn't sure quite how to do it.."

Her sister sat down on the grass and rested her chin against her hand considering this. It was all so strange to see Narcissa doing this that Persephone didn't know what she was doing until she jumped up out of nowhere. "Oh Merlin's beard I've almost forgotten your present.." She fished in her bag and pulled out a rather large box. "I made it myself..okay I may have used a few charms to speed myself along, but it was mine. I thought you might like it."

"What is it?" Persephone stared at the blue box curiously. It was large, and as she held it to her it felt as if something important must be in it. Her sister looked up towards the castle with a curious glance tapping her shoulder.

"Oi, whose that up there staring at us?" The words made Persephone gaze up and she smiled. Severus was watching, probably making sure that her sister didn't upset her. She couldn't help but blush at the idea of how much he must care for her. Andromeda watched her and caught on. "Oh I see..that must be Severus then. Well, he is a nice looking young man. I half imagined a troll from the way Sirius spoke.."

"Anyway what's in the present? Come on.." She couldn't seem to open it, it was really weirdly tied. The ribbon slapped her lightly when she tried to pull it. Narcissa's elegant pale fingers smoothed over the top.

"No no, I don't want you getting all mushy on me if you opened it here. Best you wait until you're alone. It might raise suspicion.." She stared at her watch and gave a sigh. "I've got to go..but I'll come around soon okay Seffy? You keep your head up and I promise that…Narcissa, will send you some lovely pictures of Nymphadora. Okay?"

The younger sister nodded a little weakly, she wished she could have kept her sister there forever even in disguise. She mentally reminded herself to thank Sirius profously when she saw him; it was probably his words that convinced her to come to see her. "You'll send them? What if.."

"Oh that little snag with Mum and my post. Well, instead I'll send them through Sirius. One of the reliefs of being away from Mother is to be able to owl someone freely. Next time, I'll have a chat with your..future husband I suppose is what I should call him. Anyway, I love you sweets." She kissed her sister's forehead and hugged her tightly. Persephone hugged her tightly back near tears. She didn't want to cry though, not when she was this happy. As Narcissa's figure walked away she saw that Severus was walking over. She pouted down at the box wishing to know what gift she'd been given.

* * *

**A/N--I'm so glad I've finished this chapter. A lot of stuff moving around. It was the longest one I've done so far I think. I got up this morning with a few ideas and suddenly it's 5 pm, I've done no laundry. I have not accomplished any of my errands. I have just been writing. Hee hee! I hope you thought it was worth it!**

**_REVIEW REPLY!_**

**Debjunk--**I can't answer your question silly! It gives alway the plot. Your reviews always cheer me up and encourage me.


	7. Like Juliet's Burial Clothes

**_This Chapter is dedicated to my own Lucius...who will probably never read this but I will be okay with that.._**

Severus had watched the exchange between sisters and raised an eyebrow. He had expected it to upset Persephone but as she ran up to where he was clutching a box she smiled with delight as if everything were perfectly fine. She even ran up and put an arm around him hugging him. He had to surprisingly be the one to pull away for fear of someone seeing them. She smiled delighted staring at him in a dreamy fashion. "It wasn't really Cissy.." She whispered.

"Then who was it?"

"It was Andy..she took polyjuice potion! It's genius..I must really thank Sirius for sending her here.." He watched as she fought the ribbon trying to open it. He couldn't help but laugh as it nipped at her finger. It couldn't have hurt her; but she flinched all the more as it did it a second time.

"Your other sister? The one you haven't seen in a long time?"

"Yeah and she gave me this..present I can't open. I guess I really do have to wait til I'm alone for it to open.." She held it gently to her chest and stared at him. "I think she already likes you."

"Well that's a relief.." Severus looked around cautiously to be sure that they were alone before he took his wand out tracing over the ribbon. "Won't open for me either..I guess you're right."

"It doesn't matter now…I'm just so glad to have seen her. Well…in a matter of speaking. I wish she didn't have to come disguised as Cissy..but I was really relieved she was here…" She stared at him and smiled a little. "Where you out here making sure I was okay?"

"Yeah…after what Malfoy tried..I just like to..keep an eye out.." He smoothed a hand down her cheek and then listened as the sound of distant chatter filled the air. People were finishing up lunch already he assumed. The idea of having to pull away was almost painful, but a reality he had had to relive several times already.

"I wish graduation would come sooner…I hate having to keep this..secret. It feels like we're doing something wrong Severus..and we aren't. We really aren't.." Her voice came out soft and worried; so for a moment he expected tears. Instead he squeezed her hand and walked towards the castle. Divination was starting soon, and he knew it'd be better if they went in separately. She walked in after counting to 100 and went straight to her dorm to open the box. She didn't want to be late but she really wanted to see what was inside. However as she walked in the room was full of chattering girls keeping her from her privacy. She put it into her trunk, doing a quick locking charm on it, and walked back to Divination just before class began.

It wasn't hard to know who was spying on her for Lucius. They switched and now it was two boys who were almost annoyingly obvious staring at her as she stepped inside and sat down beside Severus. It didn't look deliberate, since he was usually alone at a table anyway. Another day of crystal balls was almost welcome with the intimacy of sitting across from each other with it between them. She had to fight to stare into it and not at him.

"I don't see anything.." Severus said almost too loudly. She wanted to giggle but instead feigned interest in her own reflection. Finally she widened her eyes looking up at him.

"I see….I see two people..a man..and his fiancee'…snogging.." She half whispered the words with a playful wink only he could see hinting at exactly what she meant. "But it doesn't look like Lucius and I..Maybe not…Must be my imagination. It might be Cissy and her husband. They're such a cute couple I've heard.."

He took a moment to catch onto her words and tapped her foot with his under the table looking in. "Mm..I think I see…a box..it won't open though..it's blue..ribbon bites…" He replied. She rolled her eyes and nodded a little. It distressed her enough to think about whatever her sister had given her was waiting in hiding. She gazed into the crystal trying to think of something clever to reply with. The little game was making her smile.

"I also see…."

"I see my favourite cousin and…well Snivellus.."

They both almost jumped out of their skin when Sirius walked over and traced a finger over the crystal ball. His eyes flickered towards her full of his usual arrogant teasing. She had to fight from smiling at him and kept her mouth straight. "Seeing Narcissa? I love her..I heard she visited you today.."

There it was. Sirius had talked to her in public meaning she'd have to snub him somehow. He knew the routine what was he on about? She stared at Severus a while and gave a sigh as if she were pained by her cousin being near her. "Snape…could you shoo him away? Now all I can see is his face..and it's rather distressing.."

"You heard her Black…go on.."

"Did I talk to you Snivvy? I don't think I did.." Sirius's face turned towards his cousin. "You tell our dear Narcissa how I've missed her? That winning personality of her's is just so memorable don't you think?"

"I don't think she'd thank me for bringing you up.." Persephone gazed awkwardly at her cousin waiting for something. What did he want? She looked her cousin over when she felt something hit her foot. It hadn't been Severus's foot and she remained frozen there trying not to move too much in case whatever it was fell.

"I suppose she wouldn't..but I was ever so fond of her. No one ever scolded me harsher than she did..her and Bella. They really did the family proud..I'll leave you two to predicting then.." He tapped his fingers against the crystal ball and wandered away to sit with his friends. Persephone stared at him pretending to be mad but really she wanted nothing more than to find out what had touched her foot. She gave a sigh and moved as if to retie her shoe but instead stared at the folded up parchment there. She held it in her hand carefully and then stared into the crystal ball while her fingers fumbled with it.

"What is it?" Severus murmured so that no one could hear them. Carefully she opened the note and eyed it. Scrawled out in Sirius's handwriting were the words 'Your Welcome'. She had to give a smile at this and stared back into the crystal ball.

"Just Sirius..being Sirius. Anyway..I have to see two more things in here.." Her eyes tried to focus on something but instead all she could see was Severus's mouth. She twisted the ring on her finger thoughtfully and scribbled down a made up prediction. As soon as the class ended they were back in their classroom, safe for a few more stolen moments.

* * *

"I have to get the damned dress fitted tomorrow.." They were in silence sitting by the lake. The sun had set so they were alone, at least where they were sitting. She pulled her shoes off and socks resting her feet in the water thinking. The air was almost freezing against her bare skin but it made her feel awake and alert. She tried desperately to stay aware of their surroundings in case they were found.

"Yeah..that's good…" Severus was staring out at the water his mind elsewhere. Back to where he'd seen Voldemort..heard his plans. That was where the tattoo that was burnt on his arm had been created. He had been careful not to let her see, but it was only a matter of time before she did. He imagined her reaction and was about to turn to her when she punched his arm.

"How is that good? It means that his mother is coming…and who knows what he said about our last encounter. I stunned him remember? I'm surprised it's taken this long for someone to come to scold me…and you're just sitting there saying 'Yeah that's good.' Have you switched sides on me? Because I'm here to tell you I know I can hex your arse off.."

"Sorry I was thinking about something else.." Severus was quick to turn his attentions back to her. "Look I'll be there..I'll find a way to be there or near. I won't let anything happen. I promised you Persephone.."

"I'm sorry..I just..this whole thing has me worried. No more being selfish I promise.." She scooted herself closer resting her head against his chest. He put an arm around her and held her there as she continued. "So what are you thinking about so hard?"

"Just..that thing your cousin and I were involved in.."

"Oh yeah I'd half forgotten. What was that about anyway?"

"I'll tell you another time. It isn't that important…I just want to know if you're really that worried about Lucius's mother."

"Merlin she's a nightmare. She keeps giving me these awkward glances..she pokes me in the back when she doesn't think I'm standing straight enough. Once she suggested to mother that they wash my hair with pixie blood to make it shine. I don't know. The whole family is sort of intimidating like that. She seems to take specific interest in me though."

"It's just a dress fitting though…"

Persephone's face solidified for a while and she seemed to consider her words carefully. "I don't know if I can go in there…knowing that I will never wear that dress. It almost scares me to think of it. That tiara that Bella had for me..the whole idea gives me chills. Like…have you ever read the muggle story Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yes of course.." Severus's mother had several muggle books he'd kept with him. One of which was her copy of that he'd read with fascination. He shook his head. "What about it?"

"When Juliet is buried under the poison..I think that's what it will feel like. Standing there in that dress. It'll be like Juliet wearing her burial clothes.." Her voice hitched as she said it and he pulled her against him feeling her pale cheek press against his face.

"Don't say that. This isn't going to be a tragedy Persephone. It isn't…you won't even have to wear this dress after they fit it for you. It's just pretend. You just smile and let them say what they want..and you just keep one thing in mind."

Her eyes locked onto him as she waited for him to continue. The sight of her eyes made him pause as he waited to speak.

"That the only person you'll be marrying is me…and that they'll all be so pissed when they catch on that you've no intention of marrying that git."

She couldn't help it. She broke out into a laugh of delight holding him tight to her. "Oh Severus…"

"It's true!"

"I know..that's what makes me so fantastically happy."

* * *

Persephone didn't want to go to bed. If she could have talked Severus into it they'd have already disappeared from the world, but he insisted they wait. She heard the other girls sleeping noises so she took it into the bathroom. She waited patiently for any noises and then undid the ribbon. The box opened and she ran a finger over the contents.

It had a long white silk skirt, layers of silk all in lighter and lighter shades of white. The bodice had tiny jewels in it leading up to where the straps were shaped so that it was worn around the neck creating an almost heart shape. She felt her eyes fill with tears as she closed the box to protect it from herself.

"Andy..thank you.." She whispered the words knowing that her sister could not hear them. Everything would be fine, she had a wedding gown, and Severus's love. She thought over everything and caught on. "That's it…my life will be perfect now..after everything.." She wrapped the box up and crept back into her room. She hid it in her trunk and crawled into bed to get sleep. After all, she'd have to pretend to be in quiet agony.

* * *

**_A/N--Oh I love that scene where they're by the lake...I wish I had a drawing of that. Too bad I have no drawing skills...meh. Review it if you liked it!_**

**REVIEW REPLY!**

**_debjunk--_**I Love that Sirius spoke about him like that to Andromeda...it's just so realistic to imagine him..


	8. A Dress Fit For Fire

"You look like you've gained weight. How untactful of you..I'll write out a list of foods to permit you to eat…I won't have our little bride being pudgy."

It was already the third rude remark from Dorella Malfoy and she had only just slipped the dress on and walked out for the woman to see. She looked to be in her early fifties with almost white hair and fierce blue eyes. She had a height about her to where she was probably even taller than her son and Severus both. Her hair was wrapped into a bun tightly, so that her eyes were the main view point of her face. Her figure was almost skeleton-like, like muggle models that she'd seen from some magazines a girl had once. Over all she looked like the sort of woman who had a beauty that could have made her happy, but instead she'd perfected it into a cruel way of frightening those she saw as below her.

Persephone remained silent as the woman pinned the dress herself her hands almost purposefully stabbing at her. She bit her lip patiently and watched as her house elf nervously twitched back and forth holding the pin cushion. She wished anything to switch places with the house elf, but tried to keep as still and quiet as possible looking over the dress. The skirt was loose enough to allow her to walk but not much more than that, the whole thing almost snow white. Small emeralds and diamonds covered the majority of the silk though, so that it glittered as she watched it. The effect almost made her dizzy. What concerned her most though was the corset of the dress, with the silky ribbons in the back moving with her breaths tightening when she held it too long. It had emerald lines leading towards her face from the bottom all around it, as if pointing her out all the more. Over all it was the most frightening thing that Persephone had ever seen.

"I'm sorry…thank you for the concern." She remained meekly staring away at the door. They were doing this in the Great Hall since lunch had just ended and it was empty. She imagined that her wedding would occur in a large place like this, and that made her shiver. All those faces staring at her as she walked towards Lucius, almost a funeral march. No, she was marrying Severus. Everything would be fantastic..they would be somewhere beautiful laughing and smiling. The image of him holding her in front of the people that would attend however disappeared as Mrs. Malfoy's voice replied and her fingers pinched at the young woman.

"Anything for my future daughter in law. Now raise your arms a little bit, your arm is in my way and I would feel awful to hurt you.." Her voice was almost icy and it startled her so she moved her arms quickly giving a noise of worry that she wasn't doing it all fast enough. It seemed fine for the old woman though as she inserted another pin sharply into Persephone's side. Then another. She tried to think of the ceiling and how nice it must be outside instead of counting them.

"There…" After a few moments she saw the trail of pins along her sides, across her everywhere. How in the world would she get out of this monstrosity without bleeding to death? She was about to ask just that when the house elf lifted a jar of something smoking and clear to Dorella. The little hands shivered as they struggled with it, but were only met with a disgusted noise. The woman gave no thanks just snatched it and lifted Persephone's chin. "Look up now..close your eyes it may smoke a little.."

She felt as though someone had pushed her into a furnace covered in gasoline. She wanted to cry out but was too scared of displeasing the woman before her. A hand moved her chin down roughly so she was no longer staring at the sky like ceiling she was staring into those damned piercing eyes and the pins were gone. The dress fit so tightly she couldn't breathe at first, even worse that she felt the cool air hit her skin after having almost melted. In her mind at least.

"Mm..I suppose that will have to do. The dress will tighten next time around you fairly easy after you've lost the weight.." She said as if stating a life sentence to a prisoner, walking around the young woman. One harsh poke into her back and she stood tall as she could.

"I'm glad to know that Mrs. Malfoy.." She whispered stared to look directly at her. It was going fine, she would be out of the dress and somewhere happier any moment. That little dream however was gone when she saw the tiara that Bella had given her. It was put on her head and she felt the full weight of her family's ambition resting on her body.

"Sit, sit, let's have a mother daughter chat. I've cleared your next class in case it runs long, but I'm sure you'll enjoy a little free time with me." Two very straight chairs appeared with a flick of the older woman's wand and she sat in one patiently putting an ankle behind the other. She sat down in the chair meant for her, the dress making it all the more uncomfortable as it tightened to her sitting position. She tried to cross her ankles as casually but she found it difficult so she remained still.

"Thank you, that sounds very nice to me." She half whispered watching her patiently.

"I've had a discussion with my son, he has informed me you were…harsh when he wanted nothing more than a kiss from you." She spoke the words quietly but it seemed entirely like a vicious threat.

"Your son…did not want a kiss from me Mrs. Malfoy. He asked me to do something I had no intention of doing with him…"

The woman gave a cold laugh and she felt herself silenced as she watched. She reached a hand out to touch Persephone's patting it as if they'd just exchanged a joke between good friends. "Oh I know exactly what happened..I was just wording it properly child. It just gives no explanation about your reaction towards your fiancé."

"Because we're not married yet. I assumed that any such actions would be.."

"Persephone Black I never thought you were a fool of all things. My own husband requested that very thing of me weeks after our engagement. You have obligations..your only responsibility is towards the happiness of your husband. That is what being a wife in your station means. So I hope I've cleared that up."

Persephone stared at the woman her whole face quite pale. She was encouraging her son's attempt to force himself on her. She stared down at the dress and felt the weight of each stone in the material keeping her trapped there. She wanted to cry, until she heard footsteps. She looked back expecting Dorella's house elf to be there or something but instead she found Severus bowing politely to the woman who was to be her mother in law.

"I'm sorry..but Professor Slughorn wants Persephone to discuss one of her latest essays. It seems that someone had copied off of her.." He acted as if he had never spoken to Persephone before and she felt forlorn but in his eyes she saw him, her Severus. The weight of the dress still kept her pinned there though she wanted to run to him instantly.

"Fine, our little chat was about to end anyway." The old woman stood up and raised her wand with a jab towards Persephone and an almost tent appeared around her. It moved a little and as it retracted the dress was hanging from a pole and Persephone was wearing her robes. She stared at the dress a moment picking up a blonde hair off of it. "I dare say, Abraxas and I are anxious to see you and my son happily wed soon. I am sure that Lucius will be visiting soon…since your little lover's quarrel.."

"Thank you Mrs. Malfoy…I appreciate all that you've done for me." She whispered the words as the old woman approached and felt the icy touch of the old woman's lips on her cheek as she walked out with the house elf busily putting everything together to take with them. Persephone left after Severus and they walked with a large distance between them until they were alone in a corridor. Her eyes filled with tears and she leaned helplessly against him. Severus did his best to hold her up, silent as he witnessed her helplessly. He felt his stomach drop that he hadn't been able to pull her away before it pushed her to this.

"It was awful Severus…I just kept thanking her and whispering..I didn't know what to do.." He could feel her shivering and tried to warm her up but she felt cold from fear. "All of the Malfoys…it's as if I've been sold to them as a pet. She practically told me that I have to let Lucius…if I feel Lucius touch me I will die from agony.."

"Shh, you and I both know it won't happen. You can't let that woman or her son get to you Sephone. I love you, I won't give you up to him for anything. Just let them think that they have you..but I'm right here. I swear on my life that I'll do all I can to keep you here in my arms." He whispered it all into her ear as she sobbed into his chest. She fumbled to take the tiara from her head; it had been left there by mistake. She couldn't and her hands shook so instead he gently removed it letting it drop to the floor with the sound of metal against stone echoing.

"We'll go to our place..I don't trust the portraits even to see us." She whispered fearfully. It took a moment for her to regain her composure and she carefully lifted the tiara as if it were the fire she'd felt against her skin earlier. They walked in silence with his fingers touching her's as their hands remained only inches apart enough to reassure them both that the other was there. Once they made it there she combed her hair out going over the whole conversation with him. When she explained about the dress fitting it made him wince.

"I have to go to the loo for a minute, wipe my eyes a little. I'll be right back.." She whispered to him kissing him as she walked out. He watched her go and knew that she must have felt as he had the night before.

It had been as he'd imagined, the few muggle hating fanatics he knew seeking wizards over them finally. Lord Voldemort himself though, the way his eyes burned with something so harsh. It almost seemed like in place of pupils his eyes were taken over with a lust for blood so much his eyes reflected it in their harsh crimson gleam. His whole body gave off something, a complete hate of something. Just the sight of him could easily have frightened anyone. Including Persephone..the reason he'd agreed to this damnation in the first place.

That was it, he was standing there for her. To make a life for her, to prove he could be better than Malfoy. Even if he didn't have money, even if his blood wasn't pure. His loyalty to his wizarding blood would prove himself worthy, and this man was his key, his guide to all he'd ever wanted. He was not puny Severus anymore, who had watched his father ruthlessly beat away at his mother. He was becoming a man, someone who would protect the one he loved.

Still, he lost most of that sudden courage immediately and was locked in silent fear until the man wrenched his arm with those long pale fingers gripping into him. He would never forget the rush that filled his veins though, the cold icy dread as that wand was raised. The dark mark formed like an outline of a painting all done in red like blood. It felt like a knife, slowly and agonizingly tracing over and over until it began to fill in. He'd heard the boy before him cry when the mark had been made but he forced himself into silence. He needed this; he needed the power that this man could give him. Still, his whole body felt drained suddenly and he had to lock his legs together to keep himself standing. It felt like a slow eternity until finally his arm was let go and that mark was made on him. Marking him as a servant of this Dark Lord and his desires.

"You're one of us now. Your loyalty must lie to me above all else." That voice, he felt the dread developing in his whole body. He stared back with all his might and nodded his head.

"My loyalty is to you, and your service my Lord." He murmured and the Dark Lord left to the next man. Regulus was still wincing and staring at his own mark but Severus didn't want to stare at it anymore than he had to. He moved his sleeve down covering it up. Regulus eagerly began to whisper about the apparent strength and fear that being a Death Eater would provide and he listened intently. He had to move his way up through this, get to be the one that stood beside this Dark Lord.

He closed his eyes and shook the memories out. He hadn't liked the feeling of power being held over him by the Dark Lord. He had to find a way to keep his mind intact, locked away from sight. He'd done a little occlumency, and decided that was his best move. To keep doing that, to fix that into the spare time he had. He realized he'd been sitting there in silence a while and got up and peered out the door. Persephone was walking towards him and slipped in shutting the door behind her.

"Sorry, I ran into Sirius…he wanted to apologize for..being cross about us. I think he's approved though, isn't that marvelous? Everything feels a lot easier now that I'm away from that dress and that woman." Her mood had lightened and the tears were gone. He had hoped to bring up the mark on his arm but her sudden swing to a light happiness was too precious to throw away for something so serious. Instead he nodded and let her hug him. "I'm so glad today's over.."

He winced though when her arm touched the mark against his skin though it emitted no pain. It was just the realization she'd finally touched it. She pulled back staring at him like she'd been burnt again. He opened his mouth to explain but couldn't think of anything so she just sighed.

"What is it?" She asked quietly wrapping her arms around herself. "You mad at me for something?"

"No I'm not..I'm really not Sephone.."

"Then why'd you do that when I touched you?"

"I didn't.." He saw the look on her face and he grabbed her hand squeezing it. "Look I'm really tired…and I'm mad that his mother knew what he did and would have let him have you. I was deep in thought that's all.."

She stared at their hands and moved closer to him with a hesitance. "Tomorrow…let's skip out on classes. Pretend we're sick and go to Hogsmeade…I'll just tell everyone I was thinking about what Mrs. Malfoy said or something like that if they get suspicious."

Severus stared at her, and nodded kissing her and looking around their safe room. He imagined how soon it would be they'd be somewhere else, maybe a flat in Diagon Alley. That's where he'd start them out, but he'd give her more. Everything. He watched her smile and begin to chatter on about the dress her sister had for her…and her excitement that they'd be together and she wouldn't have to marry Lucius. He felt something in the back of his head calling to him asking how he could protect her when he hadn't been able to protect his mother.

"Severus stop making that serious face at me…you look angry.."

"Of course not. I'm really glad you're okay though."

* * *

_A/N--I think the next chapter will have to be really long to do what I want with it. I really put a lot of thought into Dorella Malfoy. What sort of woman she would have to be and everything. I believe her husband was probably a softer sort of man, and she was the one who gave Lucius his spitefulness. At least in my story. Review if you were pleased, or if not._

**REVIEW REPLY!**

debjunk--Yeah, it's all leading to a point. A whole room of axes...bwahahahaha!


	9. A Decision Finally Made?

Lucius didn't come until the middle of May. It was as if, despite the fact his spies were around, the two of them could finally be alone. They'd remained almost inseparable, and the closer it came to June the more she needed to 'study'. This meant an easy excuse for them to be together almost all of their free time. However when she received the letter from her sister she felt like she was always taking a step closer to the gallows. Sure, getting out of this wedding was in her plans, but how could she prevent Lucius from taking what he wanted from her. She didn't mention it to Severus, but as she realized it was only a day before he'd be there, she felt she should. After all, it was the whole day he'd requested from her, thus he would know. So during lunch she led him back to the library and they spoke quietly about it.

"Severus.." She began but he had begun to kiss at her neck. It took all her strength to focus on her own thoughts and not on the feel of his lips upon her skin. She giggled against his chest and pushed him playfully away from her. "Stop..what if someone saw you?"

"I hate having to worry about being seen.." He sighed and smoothed his hair back his voice full of tension. "I can't wait until we're done playing this game..hiding behind bookshelves..I want so much more for us Persephone…"

It almost irked Persephone too much. Before they'd promised to wait, but the idea of it seemed harder and harder as the days crept by. She imagined Andromeda's dress, and imagined herself in it walking towards Severus. She shook the image away nodding. "I know, I do too. But we can't get caught now.."

"What does it matter? If they kick you out, you'll still be here. They'll know about us anyway sooner or later Seph.."

"Severus…please…it isn't that much longer. A month, a month more and we'll be out of here..somewhere happier. Somewhere where we can kiss on the street..in public, wherever we want. For now…let me keep in quiet touch with my family alright?"

"Fine…" It was an argument that Severus hated, but it happened. He had that in his head though, the sight of her in a wedding dress. He leaned against the bookshelf and caressed her hair watching her. "What were you going to say earlier?"

"Lucius is coming tomorrow afternoon. I've been pulled out of the entire days classes for it. Bella wrote me all about it.."

Severus raised an eyebrow and then stood straight. He opened his mouth to argue something and then his expression froze and he gave a slight gasp. "I have three tests I can't make up again tomorrow.."

"I know. I was thinking about that this morning…Severus.." Persephone turned her back on him wrapping her arms around herself. "I don't want you to miss out on those tests. We've missed so many classes between us…"

"You're not going to suggest I let you go without me there somehow. It isn't like we both don't know what he wants from you..what he'll do to you. Merlin knows his mother has announced that she's fine with it..encouraged you to do what he wants.." He was getting madder by the second simply from the thought of her being alone with him of all people.

"I'll be careful..I'll…I'll be sure we spend the whole day in public areas. Even Lucius Malfoy wouldn't just have me on the grounds or anything.."

"That isn't the point. Just imagining him kissing you is enough to sink my stomach Persephone…" He moved his hand out to touch her but she pulled back her eyes shifting away. He sighed and turned his back on her trying to figure out how to keep her from seeing her intended. He could hear her humming something under her voice, some song he'd heard his mother sing when he was little. It was almost unnerving to have that same comparison. He wondered what his mother would make of Persephone were she still alive, if she'd have advisement for his situation.

"Severus…I won't let him hurt me. I won't let him touch me, I'll find some excuse if I must. You can't fail your classes though..I want you to do well.." He felt Persephone's lips against his own, and kissed her back as if starving for a distraction. The image of his mother weeping at his father's feet was there, and faded the more he felt Persephone, the more he smelled that perfume she wore. He knew well enough that when they separated though she'd have won the discussion. She kissed him once more, lingering against his chest.

"When I can I'll come out..find where you are." He assured her tracing his fingers against her scalp. She closed her eyes giving a little nod. His fingers moved down caressing her neck, playing with a loose strand of her hair that hung there. He wrapped it, and unwrapped it, all while considering how he could do something, stop this. His mind fell back on the idea of the two of them just leaving now if she weren't so insistent upon waiting until school was finished. She moved a little to stare up at him her fingers tracing shapes along his chest.

"It'll be fine…Severus, do you remember that day in the library when I kissed you?" Her voice took a sudden turn that almost scared him. He watched her and nodded unable to form words to reply to such a strange question to spring. She closed her eyes and he was sure she was reliving it. "I was really…it all hit that day. The fact I was going to be married, forced into this whole new life where I wasn't myself anymore. So I wasn't myself, and I..I just kissed you. You looked at me, with this funny expression and..I don't know. I would never have believed that would lead to this."

"This as in…us hiding in the library discussing how to avoid Lucius?"

"No. I never expected that you would ever love me and that I'd…love you. I was scared Sev…I was scared of the whole world eatting me up….and I'm still scared but now it's just that..I.." He saw her eyes glaze over with possible tears and he quickly put his arms around her, one resting on the back of her head. She mumbled something to herself against his chest and he just waited. Finally he just spoke himself unsure of where she was trying to go in her speech.

"My Mum…she used to say that Lily Evans was not the sort of girl for me when I was a kid. She said I was so handsome but that she would want a different boy. I was mad all the time about that…but I think she was just trying to help me. Before she died..the last few letters I wrote her were all about you. I like to imagine her reading them, that smile on her face I didn't see much of when Dad was around too much. I talked about you so much..she would have loved you Sephone. Just as much as I do I imagine.." He paused expecting her to say something but instead she held his hand, entangling their fingers. He wondered if this was the moment he should bring it up, the mark on his arm. That he'd done it all for her, to make her happy. To make a future where he wasn't the pauper asking for the princess's hand. Her sudden smile up at him though made his stomach flip. No, that was not the right discussion for now. He kissed her deeply and she giggled as their lips parted.

"Severus….I'd almost forgotten the picnic.."

"Picnic?"

"I promised Sirius I'd catch him up on family gossip. I might have mentioned you tagging along.."

Severus made a face as if someone had choked him and she laughed putting her arms around his neck and pouting her lip. "Oh but Sev…I've even gone down to the kitchens to hand make some little crumpets with hearts on them."

He picked her up, holding her to him though she squirmed as if worried he'd drop her. He stuck his tongue out at her and shook his head. "You're just making it sound less and less appealing.."

She gave an annoyed gasp and poked his nose. "You will go to this picnic…Sirius absolutely loves you now. Like brothers…"

He sighed, admitting defeat and kissing her before murmuring, "Yes sure. I've seen he and Regelus..can't fool me Persephone.."

* * *

Persephone waited after breakfast brushing the light hair from her face. She hadn't been able to eat anything, her whole body felt tense and worried. She could feel Severus's eyes on her, and with one sideways glance knew he was just as anxious as she was. So she had put on a brave face, smiling and talking to the girl in front of her describing the wedding dress as if she couldn't wait to wear it again. Which she never planned on doing. However as she waited, watching everyone trail out and eventually Severus himself, his eyes glancing to the Black family crest and the ring she'd left on it. She unclasped it and slid the engagement ring on, not even staring at it. It rested there next to the one Severus had given her she wore on her middle finger. No matter what she thought it was truly the more beautiful of the pair.

Once she was alone, she stared at her reflection in the goblet. Her blonde hair was combed back behind a plaid hair band, her whole face scrubbed until it nearly fell off. Cissy had sent a whole new outfit consisting of a knee length pleated skirt and an almost nervously low cut top. Spited by the outfit she imagined her sister wobbling about with her stomach enlarged with child and even that didn't help as she realized how she felt like a lamb done up for slaughter. Smoothing her skirt down she heard those over confident foot, and stood up her hands behind her as she gave a curt nod of recognition. She never wanted to willingly be the first to speak to him.

"Look at you, I like you better like this than in those school robes. I can't see most of you usually..like covering you with a curtain." He said playfully as he approached. She barely managed to get up before he was moving closer. With three steps he was half an inch from her his hand pulling her hair band out. The curtain of blonde waves fell around her face and she felt instantly aware of how alone they really were. She turned to the left so his lips grazed her ear as he approached; preventing any kiss he wanted from her. Still he lingered there, speaking to her as she gazed up at the ever changing ceiling as clouds moved above. "You needn't be shy..no one's around…just me..and my little bride. A whole day of just you and I.."

The thing that hurt most was the awareness of his eyes upon her body first. It hit her all at once that he was looking her over without pause; no one was there to comment upon it. His fingers moved along her shoulder and down closer to her chest. All at once she gave a cough moving a foot backwards and sliding with it. He gave an annoyed noise as she turned on her heel continuing the false coughing spell.

"Sorry, I should probably go lie down..a bit of a chest pain.." All at once she felt his hand along her waist and her whole body being spun back to face him. Her chin was inches from his body, her whole body was almost smashed against him. One of his hands remained on the small of her back keeping her there, and the other glided up to pull her chin so she was looking up at him staring into those piercing grey eyes.

"What a shy little bride I have…tsk tsk. Shall I help you along then?" He gave her no time to respond his mouth against her's. It was almost agonizing, she tried desperately to imagine instead Severus but his kiss wasn't like this. It wasn't full of arrogance, of lust. When Severus kissed her it had a need, but a need for her to love him. She felt a tear slide down her cheek, and knew he had to feel it as his hand left her chin to touch her face. He didn't seem to react to it though, his other hand moving to guide up her blouse. As his fingers touched her bare stomach she squirmed. The sound of a door opening though stopped everything and through her tears she saw the black hair, and watched as the curse hit Lucius and heard him curse aloud as he let go of her.

"Bollocks, I'm going to get in trouble for this.." Sirius ran over and put his arms around her, holding her up against him as he began to lead her out of the Great Hall. She felt embarrassed as he half carried her, but she was sure she wouldn't be able to stand on her own. He kept moving though, and she clung to him. He stopped in an empty classroom and sat her on the teacher's desk pushing things off carelessly as he examined her face putting a hand to her. "Oi, say something Sef. I would have…I'd have done something awful if he had gone any further than that. I still could, I could go and.."

"No. Don't." The words came out much louder than he'd expected so he just stood staring. She wiped the tears from her face, shivering slightly as she did so. Her fingers traced over her lips, as if she had just drank poison and was waiting to feel it. "I have to go back..what did you do to him?"

"Mm…it'd be like, if I were to throw this desk at your stomach while you're leaning against a brick wall. Maybe a little more painful..I sort of mixed things up." He said as if they were discussing what they'd had for breakfast. He made sure she had no rips in her clothes, no injury at all before he finally continued speaking. "You're not going back to that. It's time to take your stand now Persephone."

"What on earth are you saying? If I don't go back then…Bella, Cissy, they'll be so angry. And Mum and Dad, can you imagine how angry they'd be to know that I.."

"MERLIN FORBID PERSEPHONE BE HAPPY! Stop thinking about them! Andromeda and I will be all the family you ever need. If you want we'll..we'll wander around and complain about how awful our lives are even though we're perfectly fine. That's all they ever do, and demean you. Why can't you get it through that thick head. I don't want to see you spending your whole life in a display box for them to parade around. You're not that Sephone. I don't..I don't even care if you marry Snape now.." The last bit he grew quiet and she perked up.

"You don't? Really you're fine with it?"

"He was the one who sent me to be sure you were okay. As soon as he mentioned you being alone with that prat all day, I ran out of class." His expression was absolutely mischievous however, as if the idea of running out of class and hexing someone was his childhood dream come true. She felt the tears come all at once and she felt foolish wiping them away with her arm the more they came.

"Cissy picked out these clothes…awful..ugly…his hands were so cold..Severus..I couldn't see his face..I couldn't imagine anything and Lucius kept touching me and.." Her words were muffled by her sobs and he picked her up and held her to him as if they were still children. He called Lucius several words that she normally would have scolded him for but she could only cry against him.

"We did this once as kids..do you remember when Bellatrix told you she hated you more than muggles? You came crying to me and told me you thought she'd make you live with the house elf?" He said trying to calm her down. She took a few breaths and closed her eyes nodding.

"Yeah...you broke her wand..clear in half. Mum had to go get her a new one..and you had to apologize to her.." She half whispered imagining her sister's angered expression at the sight of her wand in pieces.

"Better than that, after the apology I filled her trunk with gnomes…" He reminded her, pushing her hair from her face. "The point of this is..you aren't going to go back to Lucius like a wounded animal. This whole charade has to end Persephone, you know it does. What's a little bit of time being one of 'them' if it costs you letting him hurt you huh?"

She stared at him nodding, and he sighed listening as the sound of people filled the halls. "Mm…I should get you somewhere else…maybe where James and I hideout.."

"No, I know where to go. Then Severus can find us..and it'll be fine." She assured him, standing on her own feet. He watched her a moment and took his robes off leaving him in jeans and a t-shirt which'd get him a detention. He put the robes around her, and though they were too tall she looked at least less..terrified. He watched her caressing her head and leading her. "Alright, where's your little love hide out Sephone…but if there's a giant heart shaped bed I'm not sticking around.." He gave a shiver as if the idea could make him sick and she gave a laugh playfully hitting his face.

"Really, you make us sound awful.."

"I've been around enough to notice how long you two go off to 'study'…I date several girls at a time and I'm never in such a constant state of..mushiness.."

* * *

Severus was already there when Sirius and Persephone arrived. As soon as he saw her he walked over enveloping her in his arms. She murmured something into his ear that Sirius couldn't hear but he felt rather awkward all the same as he shut the door behind him. On purpose he yawned quite loudly so that the twosome quickly took a step from each other though their hands were still together. Ah well.

"I told Sephone we're not doing this..this thing where she stays with Lucius. I don't know what state he's in right now but, it'd be better if she owled home today as soon as possible. Just tell them you don't want to be sold off to him." He didn't want to give her false hope, he knew what sort of thing would be said. There was no chance their family would forgive such impudence, especially from the one 'pawn' that could be used without much argument.

"You going to be able to do that?" Severus asked her, squeezing her hand. She stared between the two of them, nodding ever so gently. Sirius gave a relieved sigh and walked over, patting her shoulder.

"It'll all work out Sef. I'll go write Andromeda right now..she can properly come visit now without any disguise or anything. Maybe she'll bring her daughter too.." He kissed her forehead and gave her a teasing wink before leaving, calling back, "Behave until I'm back.."

Persephone sat down, letting Severus sit before her caressing her hands and assure her it was going to be fine. She finally whispered to him, "Severus..you're going to miss Transfiguration..and you have to have that test done.."

"You going to be alright here?" His face was full of concern, his hand clutching her's. She reached over and kissing him gently she smiled and nodded. He sighed and got up, kissing her before dashing out. She waited until she was sure he was gone before she stood up, resting her back against the wall. She'd been living in two different worlds, and one was going to finally be gone. She was going to be a whole. She stared at her hand, and the two rings that remained there. She slipped Lucius's off quickly, as if worried it would curse itself onto her, but it came off normally. She stared at the stone, and thought about what she could do to be rid of it.

"I could try to melt you..throw the rest of you in the lake.." She whispered to it as if it was Lucius himself she was letting her frustration on. She imagined Bella's face when she discovered her little sister had fallen for someone that wasn't a pureblood. Wasn't who she was ordered to agree to. She could already see that ghastly face Narcissa's pretty face could make when horrified, her nose wrinkled in an unattractive glare. It was almost amusing. She sighed and put the ring into the robe pocket, keeping in mind she'd have to be rid of it somehow. She looked at her reflection in a mirror, the sight of her face red with either surprise or maybe delight. She smoothed her hands down her clothes before staring out the window and deciding. She walked over and took a quill and some ink, and a loose parchment she'd found on a table and began her letter to Bellatrix. She would be the one she'd want to upset the most. She told her entire story, her love for Severus. Her imagined little apartment with him in Diagon Alley where they'd live the fairytale ending she was assured she should have. That she had no intention of ever being a Malfoy and her sister would be better off leaving it alone.

"Perfect." She whispered to herself, rereading it a third time before waiting for Sirius to return. She knew he'd want to read it as well.

* * *

**A/N--_Whoa, big chapter. Sorry, I have my own little relationship drama going on that has depressed me past writing! I apologize furiously and hope that this is to your liking._**

**REVIEW REPLY!**

**Debjunk--**Thank you so much..really your reviews inspire me so much. Yeah, Dorella I am sure is one of my most evil characters I've ever done..what do you think of this chapter huh?


	10. You Haven't Got a Record

**Sirius** waited until the owl was out of sight before heading back to the room he'd left his cousin and Severus in. He did his best not to go down the too well traveled corridors; after all he had hexed a very influential wizard. It was really going to be a harsh punishment when he was discovered afterwards. When he made it and walked in though he just saw Persephone alone obviously deep in thought. He walked over, tweaking her nose playfully. "Hey…where'd he disappear off to? I would've stayed if I had known you'd be alone.."

"No it's fine..I um..managed to write a letter for Bella. I wanted you to be the first to read it. I was going to mention Severus but um..I don't want to say anything but that I'm done with them. With the idea of..who they want me to be." She held out the parchment and he sat next to her opening it and reading it carefully. He imagined himself as his older cousin, and had to laugh as he finished it, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"That's going to utterly piss her off…my only regret is that I won't be able to see her face as she reads it.." He stared at her smile and tweaked her nose again. "This is going to make everything so much better for you Sef, it really will. That git won't ever touch you again, and you can come stay with me after school ends.."

"Alright." Persephone nodded to him, imagining a life where she wouldn't go home to her family's house. Where she could do as she wanted without making sure it was alright with her sisters or parents. Sirius, Andromeda, and now Severus. They were all the family she would need. She took back the letter, tucking it into her pocket. "Let's go to the Owlery and send it.."

They wandered there, going the secret ways that he knew to avoid most people. She heard her name on several people's mouths but he kept them moving so she heard nothing but bits and pieces. When they finally arrived she felt the weight of the letter fully. She watched patiently as her cousin spoke to his owl, almost amused as he carried the owl over on his arm.

"Here, I never thought I'd get to owl anything to Bella again but stinkpellets and things like that." He seemed delighted and she wished she could keep that feeling of assurance and confidence. She smoothed her hair back with her fingers reaching into her pocket to take it out. She sealed it with a tap of her wand, and tied it gently to the owl's leg. She watched as it rose higher, until it was gone from her sight out a window.

"She'll probably have it by lunch." He mused aloud, putting an arm around her shoulders. He saw the expression on her face and clutched her to him. "Come on where'd that smile go huh? You're going to be fine. I promise you will."

"You should go to class..you'll get in awful trouble." She murmured trying to even her breath. It all felt almost too much but she didn't want to faint like a child. He patted her head and gave a shrug.

"Oh, too late for that. I'll be surprised if I'm not expelled for that little stunt…"

"SIRIUS!"

"I won't be. Don't worry about me, my main concern is you. You look utterly startled. You did a good thing..it's going to be hard for a bit but you did the hardest part. You've told Bella she can go kiss a troll for all you care. That no matter what Mum or she say, you're going to make yourself happy. That's what you did." He nodded his head once he was done talking leading her back out of the owlery. She felt relieved again by his words, but the idea of her letter wandering out to her sister almost made her sick. They stopped back in a corridor not far from the classroom, where she sat down smoothing her hands against the floor thinking.

"Sirus..I should go change. Change clothes. I can't..wear the clothes Cissy picked for me.." She considered aloud getting back to her feet. "I feel..weird in them and it makes me feel sick just thinking about the fact I'm wearing them."

"I'll take you…it'd rather not leave you alone. Besides, I've always wanted a peek 'round the Slytherin common room." So she led him, and as she peeked in to be sure no one else was there he walked in curiously gawking. "Hmm, shall I hex a few things?" He said aloud though her opinion mattered little as he picked up various books and parchments thinking of his most dastardly spells for them. She couldn't help but smile at her cousin's antics as she went up to the girl's dorms.

She pulled on some black jeans and a t-shirt with a muggle band that Sirius had given her for Christmas. She pulled a fresh set of robes atop that, staring at her reflection. She smiled a little, combing her fingers through her hair. The girl in the mirror was not going to be Mrs. Malfoy. She would be Mrs. Persephone Snape. Mrs. Snape. Mrs. Severus Snape. She would live happily ever after. She heard the sound of the stairs growing smooth as if a boy were trying to get up, but Sirius had managed to get up, holding onto the doorway. "You have those trick stairs too I see.."

"Boys in Slytherin are just as devious.." She told him, taking her brush to fix her hair. He watched her and took the brush attempting to do it for her. Instead of being helpful he pulled too hard, but she froze and watched him. "Sirius.."

"What is it?"

"Since..um..this..is really going to happen. I wanted to make sure that you would do something for me."

"Sephone, I've stunned Lucius Malfoy, broken into the Slytherin house, agreed to be nice to Severus Snape, how many favours are you going to ask of me huh?" His grin told her to keep talking though so she did, playing with the ring on her middle finger thoughtfully.

"Well um…would you give me away? Since Dad..won't naturally. I thought you were the closest relative who'd do it..I don't even think Regulus'd.."

"As if I'd let Regulus do that! Of course I'll give you away." He stopped brushing though and rested his head on her shoulder. "But listen Sef, you could just marry my mate Remus. I mean you don't have to marry Snape."

"I love Severus. He's everything to me. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him..and I'll be utterly happy. I'll play with Andromeda's daughter every day, and you can teach me all of the muggle things you are fond of. Take me to a..what'd you call it?"

"A muggle concert?"

"Exactly! And I'll do everything I couldn't before. It'll be perfect.." She took the brush and replaced it, looking down at the stairs patiently. "You go first, we can both slide down if you'd like."

"See Sephone? Isn't it fun being more like me and less like Bella's little house elf?"

She stared at him a while and nodded easily. "Yes. It is."

* * *

Persephone took everything from the girl's dorms. Her trunk, her clothes, even the bedding on her bed. She packed everything and moved them to she and Severus's classroom. With a few spells she found in her transfiguration and charms textbooks she made the door appear to be gone unless either she or Severus came and unsealed it. Severus helped her after classes, and they sat there together. She'd hung up her wedding dress from the ceiling and stared at it, her head on his chest. He had asked her to try it on but she only laughed and refused.

"I want to wear that dress…on the day I become the happiest wife on the earth." She teased. He just smiled holding her tightly to him.

"I'm proud of you. For sending that letter…I am so tired of pretending in front of everyone." Severus murmured to her as he kissed her head. "I think you should wear the wedding dress everyday...I could wear some dress robes. We'd make quite a pair going to the N.E.W.T.S….."

"I would if I weren't worried about messing it up. Oh Severus..no more pretend. No lies. No sneaking around. No..silly pureblood nonsense. I won't live for them one day more. I feel so happy Severus. I really am." She looked up at him, smoothing his hair back with her fingers. "Are you happy? With this with..me?"

Severus couldn't help but smile. In almost all of his years at Hogwarts, he could never smile for any person besides Lily Evans. Now, here he was staring at Persephone and all he wanted to do was smile. To make her smile. She had given everything up, her family. Everything she'd known for him. That was what this all meant, he'd given himself to Voldemort's order to make a life for the two of them. She'd given up her family. They'd sacrificed themselves, everything for each other. He once again considered the mark on his arm. Her remarks were painful though, no more lies. No, was it a lie if he hadn't mentioned it? Realizing he'd been silent a long while he spoke again. "I couldn't be happier with anyone but you Sef. I love you Persephone and I..I have to tell you something."

"Yes, what is it?" She murmured her eyes staring into his. She had a smile as if she had just woken from a dream. That was that easy. He would snap that happy expression, and with one harsh word break their moment. He imagined how furious she'd be. No, it could wait a while longer. The day of her victory was not the day to announce his sacrifice. Besides that, it had earned him nothing yet. A little approval for one or two raids on muggle houses, little things that they could do after sneaking to Hogsmeade. Nothing to assure his position of power. To assure he would have something for her. His sacrifice hadn't been fully made yet.

He gave a nod and came up with a quick excuse. "I've been looking for a flat for us. I mean, I want to wait until I've got something sorted out. So you could stay with Sirius or your sister until then. Just..I've been looking."

"Of course..I can't wait. I can really see it sometimes. I dream about it too…spending the rest of my life with you."

"It won't be a dream for long…" He put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. He felt her shake and glanced down to see her crying. He turned her so he could hold her and she shook her head wiping her eyes.

"I'm sorry Severus its just…right then..my heart pounded so hard.." She wiped her eyes smiling at him. He couldn't help but chuckle, holding her face in his hands.

"That's how I feel every time I see you."

"Oh good..then it's not just me.." She smiled as he wiped away the last few tears on her face.

* * *

The next morning, Sirius and Persephone were called to Professor Slughorn's office since Professor McGonagall had gone because of a death in her family. They sat quietly waiting for him, his office was almost too silent. Sirius glanced at his cousin, who seemed rather relaxed in the troublesome situation. Her hands were resting on her lap and she was humming something under her breath. He reached over to tap her shoulder but she turned startling him.

"You think he's just going to want an explanation? I can't see that you could get in too much trouble…I could claim to have stunned him myself if you'd like. I don't have as much of a record as you do."

"Persephone you don't have any sort of 'record'."

"Exactly. I mean, it'd be too domestic a situation to get me in trouble anyway. So shall I?"

"I'll take blame…I'm rather proud I hexed him. It'd take all my fun if you took claim on that. Besides, you couldn't even name what sort of spell it was."

"Probably not. Alright…"

Professor Slughorn wandered in before she could think of something else to say. He sat at his desk and looked at the two clicking his tongue at them. "Miss Black, I don't believe I've ever had to have you in here. It's a shame."

"I'm sorry sir. I don't see that it was so important that we should be punished, frankly it is really a struggle between myself and my family. I'm of age though and so.."

"Mr. Malfoy claims that while talking to you, Mr. Black came and hexed him. Then when he was discovered by Madame Pompfrey you two were long gone. Where exactly did you go?" His attention seemed to fall completely on Persephone leaving Sirius to watch more and more annoyed by the lack of discipline he'd thought would have been thrown immediately.

"Outside, to the quidditch pitch. Sir please, Sirius had nothing to do with this..it was me. Rejecting Lucius. If someone must be punished because he was hexed then it should clearly be me and not.."

"MISS PERSEPHONE! Please control yourself." Slughorn's voice was rarely ever raised so she sat in silence her hands still in her lap clutching themselves as she hung her head. This only pissed Sirius off more and he stood up.

"WELL? ARE WE TO BE PUNISHED THEN? I DID IT. EXPELL ME, SCOLD ME, GIVE ME 100 BLOODY DETENTIONS! JUST LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS." Sirius was standing up, his hands on the professor's desk. Professor Slughorn stared at Sirius, then back to Persephone, then finally on Sirius again. He seemed unsure where to begin, what to say.

"You'll get your detentions when Professor McGonagall returns tomorrow afternoon. I'm only here to make sure that you know that you will indeed be punished. Nothing near as harsh as expulsion, but something to remind you of the seriousness of this. If Mr. Malfoy hadn't said to keep it quiet he could have easily had the ministry brought in for your wreckless attempt to assault him. You are free to go until tomorrow, but Miss Black must remain here. Her sister wishes to speak to her and I've promised to keep her under my watch until then."

Persephone watched her cousin push in his chair. He was annoyed, pissed off at the idea of having to leave her for Bella or Cissy. Whichever was there to make their threats. He wanted to stay and protect her, but from Slughorn's expression it'd be better for all if he left. So he did. Not before saying a silent prayer to whoever was listening that she could be alright.

* * *

Narcissa was a wrecklessly proud woman. Unlike Bellatrix though, her whole life was not devoted to this new pureblood mania, though her husband was in fact a death eater. Her life was devoted the child that now resided in her curving stomach. Simply the idea of the child she would raise made her give a little smile. Something of her own, something Bella could not claim. It was something her sister could not get before her. It wasn't simply a child; it was a victory her elder sister had not won. She'd found herself a pureblood husband, one who was not a blood traitor. She'd taken her own search for 'a proper wizarding husband' and in fact fell in love with him without an arranged marriage like Bellatrix. For that she thought herself superior to her sisters. She'd done her job as a daughter, and made herself happy.

But when her mother appeared at the door distressed with a letter that Bella had gotten she volunteered to go and talk to the youngest sister. Bellatrix would only make things worse and most likely push Persephone away more. No, it had to clearly be Narcissa. It fell upon her to guide their silly sister home. How the young girl had found the ability to throw herself from the family was what bothered her most. She'd pondered Sirius, but he'd have long done this before. Then it came to her and she grew even more annoyed than before. Andromeda's influences no doubt. Her long blonde hair was tied up as she walked down the familiar way to the Potion master's office. She passed Sirius, but did not glance at him. She'd already put the image of her cousin from her mind, and if she had she'd have seen herself get flipped off.

As she walked in Professor Slughorn made his usual kind remarks and she simply nodded until he left. Then her focus fell on the young woman sitting and staring at her hands. Narcissa sat down in the professor's chair, and leaned back smoothing her hands over her own stomach. "Seffy. What have you done?"

She waited for an answer, maybe a soft mumble. She didn't expect Persephone to sit up and stare at her so boldly. She tried not to show a sign of surprise, just stared back with a little shrug. The brown eyed girl began to talk calmly. "I'm..I'm not marrying Lucius Malfoy. I refuse to even consider it. You won't talk me into apologizing, or anything like that. I just..won't marry him."

Narcissa stood up and walked over to sit beside her sister instead of across from her. She tried to be patient, imagining what Bellatrix wouldn't do. Reaching over she held her hands smiling at her. She sighed and nodded her head. "Yes, that's what Mother told me you wrote to Bellatrix. But I know exactly what this is about…and if that was your concern you could have just told me. I'm sorry I've neglected involving myself in your life this year.."

"Cissy, why do you think I rejected him?" Persephone glanced at her an eyebrow raised. She took her hands back slowly, as if considering what the older girl was doing.

"Obviously because you don't want to marry someone I refused to myself. Take my hand-me-downs right? If you've another pureblood in mind you should have just told us silly. Mother can be reasonable if she thinks you've found yourself someone. Seffy, if you want me to influence her for another more appropriate man then I will do what I can. Your happiness means the world to me little sister." Her words were sugar coated, soothing.

Persephone stared at her older sister hesitating each word that emitted from her mouth. "I'm in love with someone but he isn't a pureblood. Cissy you love your husband, and I like to think you'd approve because you love him that you'd want me to be in love too.."

"I married a pureblood. Bellatrix did. Doing otherwise leaves you thrown away like Andromeda. Shamed, marked as one unworthy of being a Black daughter. Now put this silly boy from your mind. If you have any sense you'll nod your little head at me and agree to marry Lucius. We'll say your just nervous..find yourself unworthy of his greatness or some rubbish excuse like that."

Persephone did not fold at her sister's act though. She stared at her sister, and shook her head. "I can't..I won't just listen to what you and everyone else thinks is best for me. I want to do things that please me. That I want for myself."

Narcissa stood straight up, putting her hands on her sides instead of her stomach. The patience she'd hoped would win her over was gone and the Black anger flew through her veins. "What has happened to you? A few weeks with Sirius and you think you're a new person? Wrong. What if you go off with this boy and he ends up lying to you? You'll be ruined, or worse. You'll have some unpure children and where will your precious Sirius and Andromeda be huh? Because we'll leave you helpless if you turn your back to us."

"He would never lie to me! I love Severus and he wouldn't lie to me or leave me! How dare you even say that? You go back to our parents and tell them that I'm done with this. With all of you!" Persephone stood and walked out. Narcissa had to sit a moment, putting a hand on her cheek.

"Oh little Sephone…I suppose I'll have to enlist help elsewhere.." She stood up walking out to find assistance for her little problem.

* * *

"I can't find Severus anywhere." Persephone no longer sat with the Slytherin table. The people there would not support her, much less allow her to sit near them. She was painfully pushed out from their world. At dinner she sat with Sirius and his friends, allowing her hair falling into her face. She played with her food, disappointed at the disappearance of her fiancé'. She wanted to share with him her victory over Narcissa, and he was gone.

"He'll show up eventually. Isn't my pride in you enough?"

"It is Siri but…its just not like him to run off like this."

"I'm sure he's fine. Look I took all the trouble of convincing the house elves to make you that cupcake, and you're not even eating it!"

"I'm not hungry. I think I'll go back to the empty classroom to see if he's in there. I mean NEWTS start tomorrow. I want to see him before we have to do all of that."

"Oh bloody hell way to remind me. James we'll have to start cramming tonight. I'd hoped to set up a few pranks before then but.." Sirius turned towards his friend and they began talking seriously of plans to let off a few little 'harmless' pranks.

Persephone didn't pay attention. She put her bag over her shoulder and dashed towards the classroom. She couldn't wait to be done with Hogwarts, with the classes and her new found enemies in her own house. Most of the Slytherin girls refused to even look at her when the rumors of her rejection of 'gasp' Lucius Malfoy reached their ears. No, she was no longer one of them. She was an outsider who no one knew what to do with. The corridors seemed empty and all she could think of was worries of where Severus could be. The next turn she made she heard voices. Creeping forward, she tried to listen. She stopped when she heard Regulus and Severus both talking. She didn't pass the corner though, curious to hear what was going on.

"Look I told you. Persephone can't know about this."

"Why not? She'll understand I mean she was practically raised.."

"Shh. Look, we're late for dinner. I told you tomorrow night we'll all go out to Hogsmeade afterwords. I'll tell her eventually but now is not the time."

"Alright mate, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Good luck with N.E.W.T's!" She listened until one set of footsteps walking away filled her ears. Then she heard Severus sigh, and she peered around to look at him. What on earth was he on about? What couldn't she know? She waited until she heard him go as well, and she slumped down on the floor.

"There's my little bride." She froze as she glanced up at Lucius. His left eyebrow was missing, but overall he looked utterly the same. She stared up at him as he walked closer, his eyes staring into her own making her shiver.

"I'm not yours..not your bride. I'm not your's. I've made my intentions clear."

"Fine then. I have something to talk to you about..could you give me ten minutes. Ten minutes of your time…and if you haven't changed your mind then so be it. I'll find myself another wife." He reached out to offer her his hand.

"Sirius has taught me the hex he used on you. If you look at me strangely I'll do far harsher a job than he did." She murmured letting him help her up.

* * *

_A/N--Oh my, people sneaking about huh. I thought since I was all in depth with Bellatrix I wanted to make Narcissa a more..deep person. In the fact I redid her ways._

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_**Debjunk:** I'm rather proud of Sirius too...I would want him to be my brother.. :P_


	11. It's Been A Hard Day's Night

**Regulus** was the youngest of the Black cousins. Truly though, he felt himself the most loyal. After all, Sirius was a traitor. Bella's concerns were mainly on the Dark Lord and not the family's ability to move forward. Narcissa was now in France and her plans never included anyone but herself. So he alone carried the Black name. So naturally he become a death eater, followed the man who believed in keeping the wizarding world pure. Keeping in mind all along the family ambitions fell upon him. His parents were thrilled for him. The world was changing, and he intended to be a part of it all. However, he had his loyalty to something besides purity of wizarding blood. He had a friend in Severus Snape. He was loyal, and knew enough hexes to teach the young Black boy an impressive arsenal. So in turn, he shared secrets with him, said nothing against his cousin dating him secretly. After all, he had never cared too much for Persephone but it seemed to make Severus more open to the idea of becoming a death eater. Which was something he'd wanted since hearing about them himself. He had been too unsure to do it himself. So with his friend he found several others and they united to do it.

So when Lucius Malfoy came to him with a request, he fought himself viciously over what to do. Malfoy had requested he find a way to convince Persephone to go back to him. Whatever it took. He even said if there was another man to remove him. Harshly. Lucius was a death eater as well, one of the higher ups. But Severus was his mate..and he loved Persephone. So to remove Severus would be out of the question. His idea came at once, and with the help of Severus's fear of upsetting Sephone. Lucius didn't care what went on, just that Persephone would go back to him without any embarrassment on his part. So all he had to do was leave the two of them alone for a half hour. He promised it'd work out perfectly.

"Persephone.."

She was in no mood though. She waited in silent annoyance as Lucius left. They waited a while and finally she sighed.

"What am I here for?" She asked directing to him. Regulus sighed and walked closer to her, moving his sleeve up to reveal the dark mark. She stared at it almost fearfully, and opened her mouth but nothing came out. She did this one or two more times and then finally emitted a half cry aloud. She turned her back to him closing her eyes. "That has nothing to do with me. I'm going to be removed from the family."

"I'm not the only one in Hogwarts with one. Several Slytherins have.."

"I am not getting one if that's your clever idea. I'm not for this pureblood mania. I think people are people..and frankly I.." She stopped and stared at his arm her heart stopping a moment. She remembered smoothing her hand on Severus's arm and how he winced. When was the last time she'd seen his bare arm? She hadn't looked but..but… "Severus. You're suggesting that Severus may.."

"I saw Voldemort put it on his arm myself. So naturally…when I realized you two were..so close I had to tell you."

Persephone stared at her cousin. She was searching, and at once he knew she was trying to figure out if he were lying. She put her arms around herself, her eyes filling with tears. Betrayal, he'd lied to her. He was just as bad as Regulus, as her parents. He'd lied about it too, when she'd told him how she hated it. She would be marrying into the very thing she'd fought to escape. What difference was it if her life was run on the same principles? Would he too find a desire to hit her when she wouldn't give him what he wanted? Would he become Lucius all over again? She ran out of the room, and Regulus followed after, staring at Lucius who just looked relieved that something had put her off. So he'd won. That was all he wanted.

"Send a letter to your Aunt. Inform her that the wedding is back on. Whatever you said, make sure that doesn't backfire on me Black. I'll be sure to help you however I can. I remember those who help me." He walked out, leaving the heir to the Black family to write the letter.

* * *

Persephone waited in silence in the classroom. She had to resist throwing everything around, or just sobbing until she couldn't move. The wedding dress, the damned dress. She pulled it down, and changed into it. The material felt soft against her skin, and she tried to bring back those feelings. The ones she'd poured into the dress the moment she'd opened the box to find it. Instead she only felt a cool air around her body as she sobbed, wiping her eyes with her arm. She stared at her reflection in the mirror she'd hung, and moved closer to stare at herself.

"Mrs. Severus Snape." She murmured to it, though it gave no reply. She smoothed her hair down, and tried placing it all atop her head imagining the wedding day she'd dreamed of. Now she felt nothing. "Mrs. Persephone Snape. Persephone Snape." She kept repeating it over and over as if suddenly she would feel a revelation but instead she just felt silly. She let her hair fall back around her shoulders and closed her eyes. With a sigh she began to pick up the things she'd knocked down while coming in, she hadn't noticed that they were out.

"I'll just wait, he'll tell me." She murmured thoughtfully. "I mean, I can't be sure. I'm sure Regulus is just trying to ruin my happiness. He's one of Lucius's friends too…Severus would never lie to me like that..I can't..let them into my head again."

The more she considered it, the more likely his innocence was. Severus wouldn't have lied to her about something so serious. He'd supported her when she spoke against the Death Eaters in front of him. He'd agreed to a lot of the things she'd said. So why would he go and join them? He himself was a half blood. She smiled a little at the relief she began to feel. She would keep her silly fears to herself. Severus was not the sort of guy to lie to her. She slipped out of the wedding gown, and changed back into her clothes. After replacing it she set to work on a letter to Andromeda explaining everything she was doing. Also, thanking her for the pictures of Persephone's niece. She'd put one or two on the walls, and the little girl would wave her hair flickering colors. She traced her fingers imagining what she and Severus would do. If they would have children. If he would always be the Severus she wept for when she feared the world crushing in on her.

* * *

Severus felt like rushing back to Persephone immediately after supper. He couldn't find her in the Great Hall, so naturally she had to be back in their classroom. Half of his plate was empty before he finally had to go find her. No one was really around him so he made his escape and wandered back there. He checked over to be sure no one was around before going inside. She was writing a letter, and at the sight of him jumped up. He couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her doing so, and she walked over cautiously.

"What's wrong? You look upset."

"Just..it's been a long day. I've just finished my letter to Andromeda about all of this. I'm sure she'll be delighted to know her future brother-in-law won't be Lucius."

He nodded with a smile, and walked over putting his arms around her. "Why weren't you at supper?"

"I was much earlier…but I came looking for you. Where were you?"

"Just doing some last minute studying..NEWTs tomorrow." He pushed his fingers through her blonde hair, and stared into her eyes a while. "You sure that's all? You just look…"

Persephone stared into his dark eyes a while, and finally pulled back from his grasp. She took his hands in her own, her own shivering. He noticed this and reached to pull them closer but she kept in her place grasping his hands. "Promise me. Promise me that this is all going to happen, that we'll be happy. That we won't get involved in all of the violence out there. I don't want to wake up and everything just be broken. You mean everything you've told me. Everything."

He stared at their hands, and then at her. "Everything I do is for you Persephone. I will never love a woman as I love you. Why are you so worried now? We're two weeks away from being out on our own. Nothing can happen to ruin that."

She stared at him, moving her arms around his neck. "That's just it. We're so close..and I feel like everything's waiting to fall apart. Regulus just..he said some things today that made me worry that's all."

"Why? What'd he say that had you so upset?"

"Just..things about Lucius that's all." She thought about how close she was. Within two movements she could have his sleeve up and check if his arm had the mark. But she didn't want to look. She was positive that it would be nothing but his arm. He took her chin in his hand and lifted it so she was looking at him.

"You shouldn't even think about that twit anymore. It's just us now Sephone." He pulled her closer and kissed her lips softly, staring into her eyes. "I would do anything for you. You know that right? That day that you came to me after Lucius hurt you, I decided I'd protect you from the entire world if I had to."

"You can't protect me from the world Severus..it's too big a place." She whispered to him, staring back.

"I'll fight the entire world for you." He said steadily, his thumb smoothing over her cheek. He meant every word of it. He hadn't protected his mother, the one person who loved him the most, and now she was gone. He would not let that happen to Persephone. Never.

* * *

N.E.W.T's were awful. Persephone left them with her head throbbing. How exactly she'd done she wasn't sure, she knew that she'd done excellent on the Charms and Transfiguration portion, but the potions part she had screwed up awfully. Sighing she found Severus and walked beside him down the hall, letting him take her hand as they went towards the Great Hall. She wished to herself that she'd had the courage to do this much earlier, it felt like they'd wasted so much time hiding. No one stared, a few people gave a glance to their hands, but it seemed as if no one minded. It was what she'd hoped for. Squeezing his hand she felt him do the same.

"I did awfully..and we tried to study for Potions too.." She complained resting her head on his arm.

"Study? I had your knickers off ten minutes after opening the textbook.." He murmured and she turned pink giggling.

"Shhhh…" She smiled at him, and then looked forward. "You can't talk about my knickers in public."

"They were the red ones too..shall I mention that? The ones that had little P's on them for Persephone.."

"Severus really.." She turned to scold him and saw Sirius waving him over. He left his group of Gryffindor friends and walked over. He ruffled Persephone's hair and raised an eyebrow.

"Now you're all mushy holding hands? My my..what will I do with you. James was asking if you were under some sort of spell…"

"I was just about to ask him that..I saw Lily Evans flirting with him at breakfast." She pointed out and he shook his head.

"You think there's a girl mad enough to end up with me Sef?"

"I hope not..poor thing." She smiled though at her cousin and gave a content sigh. "Well I fully intend on spending the rest of the day sleeping. I'm so tired of studying.."

"Me too.."

"Siri you never study.."

"Well neither do you.." Severus reminded her whispering into her ear. She blushed and hit him with her hand, shaking her head.

"Honestly, between the two of you I don't know how I'll manage. Andromeda's the only non mad person I know.." She stared at Severus's arm as he rubbed it a moment, wincing. She stopped and watched him as he cringed. He pulled back but she moved closer, enough to see that as the material of his robes moved that the outline of a tattoo rested there. She opened her mouth, but no noise came out. Instead she felt Sirius's arm take her own.

"Merlin, look who's shown up." His voice was so distant she couldn't move. Her eyes looked up to meet Severus's and he turned going towards Regulus who seemed to be clutching his arm too. She turned back to take her arm from Sirius but instead she found what he was talking about.

Bellatrix Lestrange seemed to part the students. It was almost scary to see her walk down the hall, a face of agony forming. She seemed to be clutching her arm as well, and she wanted to vomit. Over and over. Sirius put his arms around her as she started to slide from his grasp to the floor closing her eyes. He managed to clutch her to his chest and she kept shaking her head as if hoping to wake from a nightmare.

"It's fine, we'll duck out. She looks preoccupied with her arm anyway.." Sirius muttered in her ear half carrying her into an empty classroom. He shut the door and listened as Regulus spoke to Bellatrix about some meeting they had to get to immediately in Hogsmeade. Persephone only half heartedly listened with him but she began to shiver a little.

"Sirius..I want to…I want to get out of here."

"Out of here? What do you mean? We're not even that far away from them.."

"Can you take me to the kitchens when the coast has cleared?"

"What about Severus? I can't just ditch with his fiancee'.."

"Don't call me that." She whispered clinging to the material of his robes. "Just get me down to the kitchens…and write Andromeda. I want her here..I need her here Sirius.."

He had to pick her up, holding her to him like a child. She shivered against him with her hair falling around her face. He peeked out a second and finding the hall strangely emptied he carried her towards the kitchens. She kept humming something under her breath, her body shivering with unknown fear. He watched her and as he walked he hummed, walking into the kitchen. The houseelves saw her and immediately ran about setting up a chair and making tea all in a rush to beat the others to it.

"What are you humming?" Persephone managed quietly staring at the wall.

"Hard Day's Night…Beatles. Muggle band.." He touched her nose and sighed. "You shouldn't let Bella get under your skin..she'll be pissed about the letter but.."

"Sirius..I don't think I can do this anymore. I was so scared…and he made me..I can't do it." She took the tea from one of the house elves sipping lightly at it as she gawked into the liquid.

"What? You getting cold feet? That's fine, you don't have to marry him. You can still be with us..you can stay with me for a while." He patted her head finishing the song as she drank her tea. She stared into the dregs of it trying to find something. Find an idea of what she was supposed to do with herself. She knew that she could never live with Sirius. Living in a free world without Severus would kill her. She put the tea cup down and stared at him a moment.

"Let's not..drag Andromeda down here. I'll be fine. I am just getting a little anxious..I mean we're leaving school in a few weeks and it makes me nervous." Her sudden spring into happiness made him unsure as he reached out to pat her head.

"You sure?"

"Yeah..hey..why don't you sing me some more of that song. I'm rather fond of it..I want to know the words."

* * *

Severus's arm burned with agony as he followed Bellatrix and Regulus. They left after her and ended up farther into the Forbidden Forest than any had been. A few others came as well, following the Dark Mark that had somehow been set off in Hogsmeade. The dark haired woman seemed to know everything, waiting holding the tattoo to her chest. He and the other young man, they were in serious pain. She seemed to have numbed to it, delighted at the calling by the Dark Lord. "A test…nothing more.."

"How do you know that!" Regulus felt it slowly ease but he was still worried, his eyes searching for the intimidating man.

"You're still a foolish boy….I am practically the Dark Lord's first in command. He's making sure those of you here will follow." She looked at Severus and turned on her heel. "I see that he's collected many of you…now I've business here beside the Dark Lord's. Regulus..where's Persephone?"

Severus wanted to yell at her, but the knowledge she held such power in the Dark Lord's eyes made him keep himself in position. He would take that spot from her, would work his way past her. Until then he would hold his tongue.

"I'm not sure. I haven't seen her much today..she was dragged away by Sirius when the Mark went up. He's probably mad about…something or other." He stopped and followed his cousin speaking quietly. "I sent your mother a letter.."

"I know. That's why I'm here to find her." Bellatrix ignored Severus and the others, walking quickly towards the castle. "I'm thinking of pulling her out of school now. She's done her time, and I can't leave her here in such a condition."

Severus followed quietly listening. What on earth was going on? Was she planning on kidnapping and brainwashing Persephone back into Lucius's arms? He moved ahead murmuring something about a last minute essay and broke into a sprint to get to Persephone first.

* * *

**A/N--**_Mm, the next chapter will be quite a turn about. I cannot wait. I had to reference in the Beatles, I'm such a fantic it isn't even funny._

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**Debjunk--**_Poor Sephone, quite a situation. Regulus though, I think he really is friends with Severus, they're in quite an odd situation. So Lucius isn't aware of how involved Seph is with Severus. :D_


	12. All We Can Do Is Keep Breathing

**Severus had to go in and out of the room at least ten times before he believed what he saw.** At first he thought he'd entered the wrong classroom, but after a while it only assured him that it was her's. It was their classroom. Empty. The walls, their walls were empty. The desks replaced, and the pictures she'd hung up all gone. The ring he'd put on her finger rested on the front desk, and as he held it he felt bitter tears fill his eyes. He couldn't stand, he couldn't even think. His whole body felt as though it were ripping apart from the inside and all he could do, all he could manage was to kick the desk. It was just like with Lily, but it was all the worst. He'd put all of his future towards her, and towards the love of her. He'd vowed to protect her and now she was gone. Bellatrix, he had to have beaten her. She had no idea about the classroom. He thought about the conversation they'd exchanged, how she'd been upset the night before. Had she changed her mind? Was Lucius suddenly a better choice for some reason? He couldn't wrap his mind around what was going on, and that hurt all the more to grasp. She was gone. He got up and walked out, in time to see Regulus staring blankly at him.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?" He asked quietly raising an eyebrow.

"Why is Bellatrix here?" His voice came out hoarse, and half broken. The other man leaned against the wall shrugging.

"I dunno..she..she may be here for Persephone. To convince her back to Lucius. You have to understand Severus.."

Severus pushed his friend against the wall, clutching at his robes. He had no need for his wand, his body was pumping anger and sorrow into his veins. Every bad feeling he had was suddenly emitted towards finding out what was going on. "What? That you don't think I'm good enough for her?"

"She knows now..about the mark. I showed her mine and she realized that you.."

"Everything is gone! She took everything with her!"

"Bella is still looking for her how in the world could she possibly have taken her already?"

Severus dropped him, and kicked him harshly in the stomach. Regulus grasped himself, trying to catch his breath. He knew that within moments his best friend would rise and probably fight back. He knew he'd win, he'd taught Regulus most of what he knew. He didn't stay to fight though; Severus Snape was on a mission. He had to find her, catch her before she was gone and with Lucius. He had to take it back, explain why he had the mark burned into his flesh for eternity. She had to know.

* * *

It took her twenty minutes. Persephone had all of her worldly belongings packed into her trunk with a few expansion spells. She sighed and pulled the material of her robes closer to her form as she did a quick charm letting it follow after her. She'd already left a long note for Professor Slughorn, a note for Sirius. She couldn't even find the words to tell Severus how she felt. How upset she was, the mark on his arm broke her heart all over again as she thought of it. It didn't take a long time for her to get to Hogsmeade, saying good bye to a few passing professor's as she left the castle. Once there, she realized she was on her own for the first time. It was both exhilarating and terrifying.

So naturally she did what Sirius had told her he did. He took the Knight Bus. He however had known he was going to James Potter's home. Still, it was something, a way to get on her way. As she climbed aboard she felt gazes on her, but only those of curious riders who spent most of the ride gossiping or complaining. No one knew her; she was utterly a stranger as she rode it murmuring her destination as 'Diagon Alley'. It seemed the most logical choice. There she would rent the flat she'd wanted. Counting up the savings she had, she would probably have to get a job to even keep anything longer than a few months. She held her trunk to her the whole ride, trying not to weep on it. There were a few older women chatting about a trip to visit their grandchildren for some reunion or other. She didn't like listening in and instead tried to decide what to do. Without someone's guiding hand she couldn't manage anything by herself.

It took a few hours but as they got there she knew the Leaky Cauldron was where she'd hide out. She took a room and sat in it writing out a letter to Andromeda. She borrowed an owl from the girl across the hall, and sat staring out the window watching people. She imagined Severus being with her. He'd have already figured out where they'd live, have packed everything for them. He'd probably want to take her out to find her something new to wear, or would make sure she wasn't regretting anything. He would read how sad she was from her expression, sweep her into his arms and speak away her worries. The idea of him with her made her have to hold her mouth to keep from sobbing. She lay down in bed and cried herself into an empty sleep.

Sirius was beyond pissed. He held Persephone's letter to him, rereading it again. She was gone. Severus had done something, though her letter only said she was 'done' with school. That she'd write when she figured out what she was doing. He could tell just from her handwriting something had happened, and naturally that had to lie with Snape. He waited a while, and as Severus walked in he took his anger out on his natural target. He gave him a look and instantly both men knew what was going on. Severus followed him into the corridor and down the hall where no one was.

"What'd you do to piss her off?!" Sirius half snarled at him, tightening his hands into fists. "I knew the minute I saw her look at you that you'd do something! She's gone!"

"Your cousin Bellatrix took her! She…"

"NO she didn't! Persephone left. She says she's 'done'. She was crying this morning what the hell'd you do to her!" Sirius took his wand out, holding it at him. "I could care less what trouble I get into. It'd make it worth it if I taught you a lesson. What did you do!"

Severus had his own wand out in a flash, though his grip was less intense. "She knows. She knows that I'm..a death eater.." The last part came out of his mouth with regret. So that was what happened. She was gone. It made his stomach wraith in agony. It was his entire fault she was gone. "Please, just tell me where she went. I'll go after her now."

Sirius didn't respond. So that was it. That mark, that's why she'd suddenly gone to pieces. "How could you? No, don't even say anything. I won't tell you where she is..you go back to your blood fanatic friends and hope that I don't hex you in your sleep." His words were solid, full of resentment and anger. Severus was gone in a flash and Sirius was just relieved he was gone, though the fury remained with him.

Persephone had stepped out, had left the world that he'd left. The world where muggle things were 'damned' and got you beaten harshly. The world where she was made to marry a man who'd sooner bed her and beat her than love her. Somewhere where he could not step in and protect her like he had done as a child. No, she was lost from his grasp. He began to throw random hexes leaving blackened marks upon the walls of the corridor leaving a few portraits gasping in horror. It didn't matter to him. What mattered was that his favourite cousin was wandering somewhere without any idea of what she was doing.

* * *

Severus feverishly wrote a letter to Andromeda. He'd never met her, barely knew her at all but the things that he'd heard from Persephone. He begged her to tell him if she knew where Persephone was. He explained why she was so upset, how much he loved her. How deeply he needed her. He stared at it and sighed, trying to decide what to do if Andromeda didn't reply. Should he just go find her now? N.E.W.T's were over, it was just waiting for the results. He sighed and wrinkled his nose. How could he not have told her?

She'd sat there though and told him how she hated muggle-bias. How she wanted to know all sorts of muggle things, listen to muggle music. She explained about the muggle dress her cousin had bought her that ended up burned in front of her and the harsh reprimand she'd gotten afterwards. He had found no other option, not with the world tinkering on the verge of ending. To side with the Dark Lord meant a destiny, a chance to live and succeed. He wished he could explain it all to her right at that moment. He sighed and stood up with the letter. If he didn't receive a reply before the next day he'd go find her. He firmly made this promise to himself as he walked to the owlery.

* * *

"Michelle, ma belle.." Half singing, the familiar voice made Persephone sit up a little. Andromeda sat there smoothing back the younger girl's hair with her fingers in a motherly way. "I told them you were a runaway and I was your Mum…I'm sure I don't look that much older than you but..it was an excuse anyway to sneak into here."

"Mm.." Persephone sat up brushing her hair from her face. "I'm sorry..I didn't know who else to write to. Sirius is still at Hogwarts and I.."

"You got scared." Andromeda gave a little yawn and stared at her watch. "Mm..not too late in the evening. Shall I take you home with me for dinner? You can come home with me until things are sorted out. I've told Ted everything and he'll understand."

Persephone looked at her sister and shook her head. "I want to try to manage things myself. I've never done anything by myself before."

The brown haired woman sighed, kissing Persephone's forehead. "Stubborn little thing..what on earth did that Snape boy do to you.." She stopped as her sister twitched nervously. She caught on and took a bit of parchment from her pocket. She hadn't been sure if she'd give it to her or not, but from that little twitch she caught on that a lover's quarrel was all. It couldn't be much. She was sure it would heal everything, and giving the kindest smile she nodded to it. "He wrote to me straight away you know."

"I don't want to read it. He can't explain lying to me when he knew how much it'd upset me."

Andromeda watched her and put the parchment on the bed. She wrapped her arms around her little sister holding her to her. The younger girl began to cry, curled up against her. "I love him so much Andy…I love everything about him. I don't..I don't love this. I can't marry him, can't be with him if he's one of them…"

"Shh it's alright…everything will be okay Seph…" She assured her, staring at the parchment. "You take your time…he'll wait. You can wait. Just cry it out alright? Just cry until you can think about it. The important thing is you're alright."

The younger girl played with the material of her sister's robes a while, sobbing gently against her. She missed Severus, missed his reassuring scent. She wanted to feel his arms around her, to hear him deny the mark and explain something. She wished he was with her to lie about it. Instead all she found was that she was in a room without him. This was not how she wanted to face the world. Not how she wanted to face it at all. She knew that in that letter, he could not heal the sickening agony that rose when she thought of the mark embered into his forearm. She felt her sister move to look at her watch and heard her sigh. Persephone sat up a little, staring at her.

"You should go home..Ted and Ny will be waiting for you."

"I don't want to leave you alone here. Come on come stay with me for a while…we have a guest room. I don't want to see you crying here by yourself." Andromeda looked around unsatisfied by their surroundings. "You don't really intend on staying here until you find a flat do you? I mean who knows what.."

"I'll be okay. I have things to do..I'll walk around Diagon Alley, maybe find a job if I'm lucky. I'll be fine Andy..I'll come over really soon and meet everyone." She smiled to her sister with a confidence she couldn't find in herself, just in a false image. She could stand on her own feet, she could manage all of it.

Or maybe not. She waited until her sister was gone before she scrambled for the parchment. She held it in her hands, and finally began to open it. Before she could manage to get it open the door opened and she flipped over in surprise waiting for it to be her sister catching her going for it. Instead she watched the door get pushed all the way open by a large pale hand, and in a few steps he was across the room. She winced, waiting to be hit. To be threatened. Instead as she opened one of her eyes she saw Lucius Malfoy on his knees before her. She stared as he took the ring from his hand. The ring she had tucked into her robes, which should still be in her trunk. She raised an eyebrow and he spoke leaving her motionless.

"Sorry, its enchanted to know when its rejected. Can I ask why you're here of all places?" His voice was full of a patient curiosity, and she couldn't help but stare back into his grey eyes.

"I plan on getting my own flat." The words came out softly and she watched him chuckle and the sight made her lose her breath. "What? I have every right to go out on my own. I have no intentions of marrying you."

"I'm not laughing at you being on your own.." He reached up to touch her face. She winced again but he didn't seem to care, just stroked her cheek gingerly. "It's just..why would you want to live out here alone with the world in such a state? It'll eat you up Persephone…and if you go and push everyone away who will save you?"

"I don't need saving..I can do this on my own." Her voice hitched, and she hated that. How easily she faltered when she wanted to be strong. She looked away but his hand only moved down her shoulder, her arm, landing atop her hand. She felt him get up and pull her towards the window. He pointed out at Diagon Alley, straight out at the few people walking about.

"I guarantee that 2/3 of those men are Death Eaters. The rest probably won't make the night if they are foolish enough to wander this late without any sort of idea what they're up against. Our numbers are high, anyone who isn't for us will surely end up just like that 1/3. Do you want to be one of them?"

"Are you threatening me?" She felt her wand in her pocket and considered how easily she could hex at him. She'd heard loads of advice on how to do it from Sirius, surely she could manage at least to stun and maim him. He loosened his grip on her hand and looked back at her.

"No. It could be much easier and safer for you though if we were to marry Persephone. Just consider a life where you want for nothing. Where your family has no right to order you, but still speaks to you and loves you. I can make anything happen if you'd just accept your ring back." He held it out, offering it to her. The green stone shone at her, and she couldn't do anything but stare at it.

"A life where one wrong word and you'd stun and hit me?"

"I will never even dream of hexing you again my little Persephone…I used you badly I know. Would a life with me really be that awful?" He kept the ring in his hand, holding it almost to her eyelevel. His grey eyes just stared at her's, with an almost kind light. It pained her all the more when he continued to speak. "What if I made you an offer huh?"

"What sort of offer?" She couldn't help but ask it. She had no intention of saying yes, but if she kept talking maybe she could find the ability to send him away. Find her voice to threaten him, or even to scream until another person heard and came to save her. She moved her hand into her pocket and touched her wand, reassured by the feel of solid wood under her grasp.

"Your sister, she's pureblood. Andromeda's marked by her marriage and her child now. Sirius, he's already pissed off almost every pureblood his age. They'd have little chance in the future reign of the Dark Lord. I could protect them, I'm sure his confidence in me will allow me to make this choice. Wouldn't you like to keep them alive and safe?" His voice didn't waiver, and she let go of her wand looking up at him intently.

"Andromeda, her husband, her daughter and Sirius. All four of them." She imagined the attacks she'd heard about, how easily it was happening that muggle villages would disappear. So many people missing. Andromeda and Sirius wouldn't survive if this spread much further. She could protect them, could protect herself. Nymphadora, Ted, all of the people she cared most for safe because she said 'yes'. She stared a moment out the window, imagining the wide world she'd feared all her life. That childish fear that remained in her heart. What a cowardly child she was, but with one word she could save everything.

"Yes, of course."

She took the ring after a moment's hesitation. As she slid it onto her ring finger, she looked back at him with a patient nod. He smirked at this, and took her hands in his. "Alright then. Shall we go ahead and send your things to the manor? I think it'd be safer after all…"

She wanted to argue against it, but he'd pointed out how many of his people were around. She stared at the belongings she'd packed and nodded. "Yes, alright then."

* * *

Severus felt his head ache with self loathing. He hadn't slept all night, and he was still staring into the fireplace considering his next move. He hadn't gone anywhere, skipped breakfast completely. He listened as someone walked in and felt a letter get thrown into his lap. He stared down and then back up at Regulus. "What's this?"

"He's taken her. They're to be married Saturday afternoon. I'm ending my term early to attend." He sat down on a chair across from him patiently. "So I'm guessing you're going to be rather put off with me now?"

"No." Severus stared at the letters as if he couldn't read them. She was marrying him. She'd agreed. "How'd he do this Regulus?"

"She'd run off to the Leaky Cauldron, and he came to find her. Talked her back into the marriage and now she's staying at Malfoy Manor." He watched his friend closely and then stared back at the letter. "I bet he talked her into it. He's rather good at that…"

"It doesn't make sense. Did he..force her to agree to it? Maybe he used one of the forbidden curses…"

"No, that's impossible. Look at the bottom of the letter." He pointed to the bottom. Besides Lucius Malfoy's signature was Persephone's. "You can't force someone to write their handwriting out on parchment that's made from unicorn hair. That's probably why he sent out the invitations on it. To prove this is legit."

Severus threw the letter back to him holding his hands against his face. "This is my fault…I've got to do something."

"You can't fight this. She's probably better off like this. Severus you can't win against him. I've already tried to protect you from him…I even told Bella you have no interest in her anymore because you know she belongs to Malfoy."

"I love her. I won't let him just sweep her up and marry her. She doesn't really want this Regulus she can't.."

"Do you really think she could live with you? You've nothing to your name, nothing to offer her! Malfoy represents everything you don't have, all of the things that means her survival." He raised his voice a moment and sighed, holding the letter to him. "Tag along with me the day of the wedding alright. Come with me, and see for yourself."

"Fine." Severus got up, going to wash his face. Or drown himself in the sink. He had yet to decide as to which seemed more reasonable.

* * *

Persephone sat on the balcony of the room that would soon belong to both she and Lucius. It was late, but she couldn't sleep. He'd been true to his word, he hadn't even looked at her harshly. He was gone a lot for Death Eater work, and his mother seemed only interested in making comments about Persephone's appearance and how 'annoyingly quiet' she was. The young woman pulled her nightrobes around her, staring into the night. She was relieved the long sleeved blue garment was so thick, she hadn't expected it to be so cold for summer. She watched as a shadow in the sky loomed closer and closer. As the young man landed she had to smile a little, embracing the man on the broom.

"Sirius…"

"What've you done this for Seph." His voice was stern and brotherly, his fingers clenching her shoulders. "If it's money or something I have enough. I'll take care of you myself I promise you. You don't need him, don't need this."

"Sirius…it isn't about money or something like that. I'm here because I want to be…I thought about it a lot. This is where I have to be. I mean just because I'll marry him doesn't mean I won't be able to be with you and Andromeda. He's gone so often that..I'll practically be alone here with the house elf most of the time. See?" She put her arms around his neck hugging him closely. "You don't have to worry.."

"Of course I do. You're getting married to..Lucius MALFOY for Merlin's sakes!!!"

"Shh, his Mum will hear and.." She stopped and shook her head. "Listen Sirius, I made this choice. I'm marrying Lucius on Saturday."

Sirius sighed and reached into the bag he had hanging from the broom. "Fine, at least let me give you this…I guess you could call it a wedding present.." He emitted the words 'wedding present' as if they were curse words. He pulled out a large box and put it down, adding to it another box. "Here, it's a record player..and some Beatles records.."

"The Beatles?" She looked the record player over as she opened the box, touching it carefully. "That muggle music you and Andromeda like?"

"Yeah. It was going to be for your flat..but since you're set on this..then I guess it'll be for here. Just don't let your new husband see it..they'd probably hex you for having it." He watched her as he leaned against the balcony staring out at the view. "Seph, promise me you'll take care of yourself here okay. This whole place is just…it isn't the sort of place people like you should be."

She stood up, and hugged him again. "I promise I will be fine. You want to come to my wedding?"

"Are you kidding? I doubt I'd be very welcome.."

"I'll make sure you're invited myself..please?"

He stared down at her and sighed, hugging her gently to him. "Fine, but I don't intend to dress up at all. And I'll have to try my best not to yell 'No stop this now' if they mention objections."

She smiled at him, and looked back to the records and record player. "There's this fantastic secret wall I made earlier..it was one of those spells Andromeda used to hide her muggle clothes with." She walked over to the wall and making a symbol on the wall with her wand it opened like a closet revealing a large closet. She wandered in and put the records and record player inside, walking out and closing it with a few well placed flicks.

"Alright, I guess I'll see you Saturday." He sighed, still wishing he could talk her out of it. She kissed his cheek and squeezed his hands with a nod.

"I'll be fine..you be careful. I suppose you're going back to Hogwarts tonight?"

"It's a long trip on broom…I'll make it for lunch if I'm lucky." He pouted his lower lip and she just smiled shaking her head.

"Oh Siri..then hurry back. I won't have your friends worrying."

"What will I tell Snape then if he asks?" He meant it seriously but as her expression paled he turned his head as he climbed onto his broom. "I guess I won't say anything."

She watched him go and stared out at the vast lawn. She imagined the wedding that would take place on it, and the idea of the dress made her shiver again. She walked back inside and silenced the walls, putting on a record and resting on the large bed. The dark green comforter was a heavy velvet material, and as she pulled it over her she was sure she'd never get cold at night. She stared at the other side of the bed imagining Lucius there. It seemed like a joke, like Severus should be there smiling at her or talking. She burrowed into the blankets sighing. Finally when she realized she couldn't sleep still, she wandered to the 'real' closet, and stared at the wedding gown. Staring back at it she felt a shiver down her spine and closed it, crawling back to bed. She pulled the blanket tighter around her, and imagined warm arms around her. She thought of how Severus would just stare at her sometimes, and say something about how he couldn't sleep because he was afraid she'd disappear. She remembered how he promised to protect her from the whole world. The worst thing was, when she finally began to drift to sleep, she imagined his face when he realized she was gone. The face he'd worn when he walked in to see the ring on the desk.

* * *

It was Saturday morning, and Persephone had written the letter. It was a good bye letter, it was the letter. It was the I'm-sorry-I-chose-him letter. She had sent it, and as she watched the lawn getting prepared she felt chills run down her spine. Maybe he'd show up and resent his choice. Say he would never do anything more for the Dark Lord. She pushed those dreamy thoughts away and turned to face the dress hanging from the closet across the room. A fireplace, the huge bed, the side tables, and several tapestries protected her from it. She wandered over and touched it, feeling the cold stones embroidered into it. Stepping back, she listened as her sister walked in and felt the cool hands on her face.

"Bella's going to throw a fit if she sees you're not even out of your pajamas yet." Narcissa cooed, pulling back her sister's blonde hair. The younger girl just made a noise and stared at the dress in silence. The door opened again and a groan filled the air.

"Cissy just look at her..what have you been doing up here you two?" Bella complained shutting the door. She let it give a 'bang' before walking over and pulling at Persephone's arms lifting them. "At least change out of your pajamas, go into the bathroom.." She pushed her towards the bathroom door next to the closet and turned to Narcissa. "Honestly.."

"It isn't my fault, I just walked in!" The pregnant woman complained sitting on the bed. "Besides, Mummy had to fix my brides maid dress, she hadn't expected that my stomach.."

"Yes yes you're pregnant. It isn't as if the entire world doesn't know.."

"Bella please don't be rude. Come on Sephy, we've got to get your hair done before breakfast. Mrs. Malfoy starts complaining. We showed up and she was in a frenzy over Lucius's hair.."

Persephone walked back into the room in her underwear and a white undershirt over her top and some black shorts. She let her sisters lead her to a stool and begin to toy with her hair as they chatted away to her.

"Now don't start just standing there without moving like you do when you're sad..people will think you're dull. Don't start sobbing if you get emotional, you'll make a mess of yourself and all the pictures will look awful."

"Oh poo Bella, don't say that. But listen Sephy, try to smile a lot. Just keep smiling no matter what happens, and it'll all be over soon. Mummy and I just finished the cake this morning, all by ourselves..well the house elf did the most of it but we did say what we wanted it to look like."

Persephone listened as they chattered on with eager words, feeling as they pulled, twisted and brushed at her hair. The whole occasion made her head ache, but her focus was on the balcony. The doors that covered it were open enough for an owl to come in. She imagined Severus's words, and then felt another sharp tug and a pinch on her shoulder.

"You listening Seph?" Bellatrix moved in staring at her. "What is it Persephone?"

"I was just thinking about something that's all.."

"Well think less hard, you're not much use to us if you're constantly thinking. We know what's best for you." Cissy walked over to the balcony staring out, stroking her stomach as she spoke. "What a beautiful wedding…it's almost a shame I didn't marry him myself."

Persephone stared down at her hands as she felt her hair being finished. She was starving, she hadn't bothered to worry over dinner the night before. It all just seemed too much to bother with since the Malfoy husband and wife seemed to only stare at her. Her future father in law was silent and sickly, but his wife's dark glances made her shiver. She couldn't have eaten much anyway under such circumstances. She heard her stomach grumble and blushed.

"I'll get you something to eat.." Narcissa walked out in a bit of a rush, and left to Bella the blonde stared down at her feet, rubbing them together impatiently as her hair was tapped and pulled with a wand.

"So are you frightened of tonight?" Bella stopped and walked in front of her, standing over her. If she was trying to do anything, it was to scare her. Persephone kept glancing down shaking her head weakly though the words made her stomach lurch at the thought of his hands on her.

"No."

"Well, it isn't as if you're still innocent are you my little Sephone." Her hands were almost harsh as they grasped her chin pulling her up to stare into her sister's eyes. "You've put that boy from your head now haven't you?"

It was hardly a question. It was an order, a demand. She wanted to cry at the image of him that her mind made, but instead she held firm. If anything, she'd learned that from him. She pulled back, releasing her face from her sister's clutches. "If I hadn't would I be letting you pull my hair out so I can marry Lucius?"

Bellatrix seemed happy with that reply and excitedly she took the horrid tiara veil from the closet. She gave a noise as she touched it, watching it flicker as the butterflies moved with her movements. She put it atop the girl's head, tracing a finger along her hair. "Mm..perfect. I'm going to go check on things. I'll tell your future husband how beautiful you look." She kissed her cheek and dashed out leaving her alone.

* * *

Sirius felt ridiculously uncomfortable. Waiting among the sitting crowd for the bride, he stared next to him at Regulus. So she had insisted he sit with the family, maybe she'd assumed he'd put them off. By the expression of illness his mother kept casting him he assumed that was just it on her part. He sighed almost too loudly and gawked at Lucius who was impatiently talking to his best man gesturing with his hand to hit something. It was all so formal he couldn't help but wonder why he'd bothered coming. There must have been a hundred people on either side of the long white aisle, and all around them large green and white canopies kept the sun out of view though the warmth emitted through it. He turned backwards and caught sight of Cygnus half pulling his daughter far in the distance with her two sisters following. Both older girls wore green gowns with a large emerald just on the shoulders. He had to fight a laugh as Narcissa seemed to wobble slightly as she walked.

Then he caught sight of something else all together. In the back row where a few acquaintances seemed to have found a haven, sat a sallow skinned young man with what appeared to be a badly done bleaching charm on his head. His hair was unnaturally white-yellow, and this only forced his long nose out further. He got up and walked back towards him, sitting in the empty seat that emerged when a woman got up to gossip about someone several rows ahead. Severus looked at him with surprise and ducked his head.

"Smuggling in to steal the bride?" He whispered with a haughty chuckle. "I'd hoped for something like this, I had no idea you'd go this far. Although if you'd have asked I'd have helped you disguise yourself…maybe some polyjuice potion. Don't suppose it'd help you to steal her away looking like Regulus though. It'd be pretty incestuous, and I doubt she'd choose him over Malfoy."

Severus's face warmed and he shook his head he was clutching some parchment in his pocket and stuffed it further in as he spoke. "No I just..had to make sure..if she was happy or not. Regulus made it sound as if.."

"You and I both know my brother's a git. You go take her now, and I'd hex anyone that raised a finger to stop you." Sirius had never spoken so seriously without dangerous intent towards him. He pointed back to where Persephone was. The heavy dress seemed to have been a lot to work with, so her father half carried it as they made their way from the house into the gardens. "It'd take nothing..do it Severus."

Severus Snape could not move though. He hadn't fully gazed at her until that moment, and a longing broke through his chest. It was as if someone had stabbed him and left him to bleed out without any hope but that he'd pass out before the pain became too much. She was talking to her father, her blonde hair back in an elegant knot, and the tiara atop her head flowing out from her face. She seemed to smile, shaking her head as she picked up part of the skirt helping him carry it as they moved. That was what hurt most, that smile as if she'd waited her whole life to become Lucius Malfoy's wife. He considered aparating back somewhere to wait it out. Possibly to let his father get what he deserved with a few curses he'd learned from the Death Eaters.

The music played all at once. It was soft, some classical piece written a long time ago. It made his stomach lurch as she moved closer and closer to him. He was right by it. Right by the aisle, she'd go right by him. Her eyes were steadily on Lucius, her mouth in a nervous little smile as she moved under the weight of the gown. Her sisters had already passed him, but his attention was only on her. Only on her eyes, those light chestnut colored eyes that would not look back at his. Surely she could sense him, feel how close he was to her. He reached his hand out cautiously, and grazed the material of her skirt. She flinched, had she flinched? He was sure she had. He watched her father lead her the rest of the way, and felt Sirius move behind him. He didn't look to him.

"Go for it now Severus..go." Sirius urged him, almost begging him. No one paid attention to them, the vows were being given and some woman was crying. Upon a glance it was Naricssa and Bella was beside her hissing at her to control herself. Sirius grasped his arm, continuing to urge him. "Please, for Merlin's sake Severus you cannot let her do this, you can stop her right now. Save her."

The ring was on her finger. She smiled up at Lucius, her smile never faltering. She was holding a bouquet of white roses against her chest, staring at him as if they were alone and he was saying something enchanting to her. The ring though, it seemed to glare at his eyes on purpose. Lucius continued to speak, though his voice was white noise like the rest of the wedding. It was all visual for Severus. A horrible picture he could not shut away.

Sirius's fingernails were clawing into his skin. He was begging, demanding he go for the sake of Persephone. Severus couldn't see it though, that she needed saving if she could smile like that. If she could gaze at the man who'd harmed her, who'd tried to hurt her. It was Severus who had held her, who promised to protect her. He'd allowed a mark which was against himself and muggles alike be burnt upon his arm so he could take care of her. What a joke, that he could save her from something she appeared to desire so deeply. Then he couldn't feel the pain in his arm. Her body moved closer, and she kissed him, allowing him to cradle her chin in his hand. It was like a perfect wedding scene from one of the muggle movies his mother had taken him to when they escaped his father's rage.

She was gone almost in a flash. Lucius somehow managed to pick her up, and carry her towards the mansion. Someone called out that the reception could go on for days, but that the bride and groom would be 'occupied' soon after the cake was cut and wine was drank. Everyone cheered, and followed the groom. Only the two men were left, Sirius shaking with anger. He couldn't even find his wand in his robes his hands going for the chair in front of him as he threw it a good way's away.

"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING! YOU JUST LET HIM TAKE HER, YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D PROTECT HER AND LOVE HER! DAMN YOU!" He was near sobs, throwing another chair after another. He fell to his knees in front of Severus, staring up at him his eyes searching Severus for an answer for the agony that he'd caused.

"You could have done it yourself. I won't take something that will keep her with her family, something she wants so much." Severus murmured.

"I couldn't have! Don't you see that? If I had the power she'd have moved out of our family the moment I had! She was going to leave them, leave all of this for you Snape! I'll never forgive you for sitting in silence as she let him take her. Never." He stood hesitantly and then was gone, aparating somewhere else. Severus couldn't even find the energy to do that.

He stared out at the rose shaped arch they'd gotten married under. He took his wand out, and with an easy charm it caught fire, blue flames eating away the flowers. His Persephone was gone. What more was there for him now? He felt his eyes gaze to his arm, moving the sleeve to stare at the mark. He would never love again, but if he followed his ambition he could rise among the Dark Lord. He could find something to consume him up like the fire had the flowers. What more did he have than that?

* * *

**A/N--**_Oh my, I cried a lot during this chapter. I also listened to a lot of music. If you're interested, the song Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson was on repeat during the wedding scene. I like Grey's Anatomy, and it sort of seemed to fit this wedding as well. I also listened to the Beatles, which were totally still hip around 1978 right? I think so. :D_

**REVIEW REPLY!**

**Debjunk--**Oh yes, I felt so awful for Severus, I cried for him while writing this. I almost wanted to end it with, 'So Severus climbed on a unicorn and whisked her away'. That's not how I planned the story though..-sigh-


	13. She Locked Herself Away

**_Years Later_**

* * *

Severus felt as though he were still the same young man lingering behind. The stuffed rabbit he'd brought hung in his hand as he waited for something to happen. A young woman appeared in the doorway, probably 18. What shocked him was how her dark hair hung around her face, and the way her eyes stared at him. He'd seen her once or twice, but to see how much she appeared like Persephone it made his stomach flip several times. He felt foolish to let himself give in to old emotions he thought he'd destroyed years ago.

"My brother's at work. He'd want to be here if he knew but.." She motioned down with her finger as the young girl clung to her leg her blonde hair moving around her face bobbing as she smiled at him. The older girl motioned him to follow, walking steadily even as the child half danced around her legs. He followed, trying to keep his eyes on the paintings that seemed to whisper amongst themselves eagerly. What gossips portraits were, he mused to himself. They finally stopped in the large drawing room, and she sat down on one of the velvet couches letting the child sit beside her. He sat himself in an armchair, and paused in horror as he realized it must have been Lucius's. He moved to get up but the child launched herself across the room to reach for the rabbit.

"Lovely bunny! Is she mine?"

He stared at her feeling guilty. It was truly for the other girl in the room, but she only shook her head as if it were nothing and so he gave it to the child. She left immediately and the sound of her footsteps was the only noise in the manor. Left to their own devices, the adults seemed to find it awkward to sit and talk. She finally had to begin it, her eyes on the floor as she did.

"I'm sorry. I wouldn't..I wouldn't have written to you if it weren't important. My mother is so quiet more like me than Andromeda and I'm sure she'd disapprove of me doing this but..." She said looking back towards where the child had gone. "My brother doesn't like that I wrote to I…this is for me as well so I just thought since.."

"Is she ill?" He asked it immediately realizing she was rambling a little bit and he assumed the worst. Why hadn't he come much sooner? The last time he'd seen her….and here he was hesitating the whole way to see her. If he had any sense he'd have apparated here months ago.. Damn his pride and..

"Oh no I'm sorry. It's just she…Pavo went into her room a month ago, and she'd locked herself into the closet and sealed it. We're not sure what's going on but she won't come out and I used to be able to go in there that's why…" She seemed to twitch nervously as if she were about to reveal something she hadn't spoken aloud. Her hands played with the material of her chair. Her eyes fell on her hands and then carefully looking back up at him. "I know, everything now. Pavo just knows little details but I know..I know everything. About you and.."

He saw from her expression and sighed looking down. He'd watch it all unfold and stood in silence allowing it. Really he wondered where her blame rested, if she held something against him for the way their lives had all unfolded. He shook the thoughts out and took a swift breath in and out. He had to stop dwelling on that. He stood up, staring back at the young woman. "So you're hoping I'll talk her out of this closet then?"

"It isn't just any closet mind you." She said quietly, brushing her hair back. "When she married Lu..father, she created it to hide things from him. I don't even think he ever stumbled upon it. I did when we were sealed in during the…the time the death eaters occupied the house." She kept her hands together her face paled suddenly. He reached out to touch her hands, and she seemed to hesitate from the contact but continued. "I know that you're my real father. That makes sense why I had to go to Beauxbatons and Pavo was allowed to go to Hogwarts. I know that mum loved you…that she.."

The words were almost painful. He looked away from her pulling his hand back and she turned her back walking towards another doorway. He followed in silence up a flight of stairs and felt as though he could hear the voices of the people that had been here as guests of parties, imagined the people kept as prisoners for Voldemort. It was all sickening that this place, this was where his Persephone lived her life. He watched as the girl hesitated and heard little Andromeda rushing by, opening the door for her eagerly.

"Mama, look the nice man has brought me a present and it makes me smile. Come see!" The little girl began to chatter towards the bed in light French looking around for her mother. Nothing was there, and the bed waited made and neatly folded. Severus stepped inside and his eyes gazed to the balcony. His attention waved as the child hit him on the leg hesitantly.

"Lyra and Pavo haven't found Mama, will you find her for me please?"

Lyra looked embarrassed at the child's actions and picked her up cradling her close as she walked towards the wall where a tapestry hung. She pulled it away, the silvery dragon there gone in leaving behind only a blank wall. She ran her fingers across it, half knocking. "Mother, please come out." She paused and waited speaking again. "My father has come."

"Daddy's dead!" Andromeda called out loudly towards Snape making him widen his eyes in surprise at how simply she said it. Even he didn't think it possible that Lucius Malfoy had met his end, but to have his child so easily throw the fact out made it all the more strange. She didn't seem to grasp his surprised look and just arched her head at him giving him a little nod. "I was his favourite though, he told me."

"He never said that." Lyra murmured to her knocking on the wall again. She didn't seem angry over her sister's comment, just enforcing some discipline into her. She looked back towards Severus moving over so he could join her by the wall. "Andy doesn't mean to be so blunt about it, he only saw her a little with..his prison sentence and everything."

Severus shook his head trying not to think about any of that. He was here for one purpose, for the woman hidden behind the wall. He took his wand, and traced a star, and then several other shapes. Nothing happened. He even tried to blast it away but it didn't seem to do anything but leave a blackened mark. Finally he pressed his face against the cold wall, closing his eyes as he spoke. "Persephone..it's me. Come out Persephone..come out and at least let your children know you're alive."

He could hear it, hear something distant through the wall. He pressed on with his efforts, raising his voice slightly. "I told you once, I told you the only person you'd be marrying was me. I lied to you about..about the mark about everything. At least come out and let me see you. Let me see you Seph…"

The wall seemed to flicker a moment, sliding away as if it were a window being opened. It was dark inside the room that appeared, but as she stepped into the light he knew instantly she was his Persephone. Her long blonde hair was cut to her shoulders, her pixie like nose was pink as if she'd just been crying, and the scent of roses filled his attention. He wanted to sweep her into his arms, but that wall of resentment he'd built around his feelings for her stopped him. She seemed to be too thin, as if she would waste away if she weren't fed immediately.

"Mama!" The little girl squirmed in her sister's grasp but was stopped by the grip Lyra had on her murmuring something to her to silence the child though she pouted her lip resting on the older girl. The woman paid no attention to her children, her chestnut colored eyes locked on him a while. Words hung there in the air, words full of regret and sorrow. Both young girls felt it, and stared between the man and their mother full of interest and impatience. However, there was no declarations of desire or love, no words at all towards him.

"I'm sorry Andromeda, I'm sorry Lyra. I should not have disappeared." Her voice seemed distant though, and she reached her hand to touch Severus's shoulder, her fingers ghosting over him as if making sure he was not a creation of her imagination. He stared at her fingers, watching them and finally taking her hand. Lyra put her sister down and they both wandered into the closet their mother had been in, though the woman didn't pay any attention.

"I thought I would cry if I saw you." She whispered softly. "I can't though. It breaks my heart that I.." Her eyes flickered and in a flash he was holding her up, cradling her to him. She'd fainted clean away, as if all of her being were swallowed from her and she were just an empty porcelain doll. He picked her up bridal style, carrying her to her bed. It took him a while to put her down, he stared at her in his arms a while. Finally when he realized it couldn't be too comfortable for her he laid her down there. The older girl walked out for a moment and returned without the young blonde. He was hanging over the woman when she returned, still analyzing her patiently.

"She's just fainted…exhaustion…" He murmured feeling her forehead. "It'd be better if she just rested a while."

"Andromeda no!" The older girl ran back in and he followed after a moment, and stared. The blonde child had walked in again and gone into the room her mother had been locked in. In the back of the large room was a pensieve, and the little girl was leaning over it, her eyes hypnotized by it. The older sister seemed to be familiar with it but joined her. Severus was going to leave it be and return to Persephone, but the idea her daughters were fumbling with whatever her last thoughts had been made him curious. With a few steps he joined them into a time he himself knew.

* * *

It had been a party, and Severus at once knew where they were. It was the very room that he'd just sat and spoke with his…their daughter. It was filled however with infamous death eaters and purebloods in general. The woman his two companions were staring at specifically however was Persephone. She was the Persephone he remembered, though her back was to them and he only saw half of her profile. She was going up the stairs waving at a few people, and they followed being almost ghosts to the people around them. The girls spoke in whispers to each other pointing around the manor a while. They walked into her room with her, and she went out to the balcony the sound of strained sobbing emerging from her figure. Severus wanted to be done with it, knowing what would happen. The children, did they?

"Father." Lyra looked back at him, nodding her head evenly as though she knew his very thoughts. "I know, I've seen this memory before when she wasn't around. It's okay..I just want another glance."

"Alright." He found his ability to argue gone. They stepped onto the balcony with her, and watched the woman hold her stomach, the noticeable curve almost strained against the material of her dress. She stared out at the gardens, catching her breath continuing to cry. He looked beside her, and there a younger version of himself appeared, his hair mussed though he was wearing dress robes as if for a party. His expression was exhausted, his eyes looking at her as though he'd just come up for dry air from drowning in the middle of the ocean. He reached out to her, and touched her face.

"Sephone.." The younger Severus reached to hold her but she pulled away, her eyes full of tears as she clung to her stomach.

"Severus, you shouldn't be here! If Lucius saw you here he'd assume..why are you even at the party.."

"Your husband invited me." He said the words as if disgusted by the word. "I know that..your sister knows about my feelings toward you so I just came because I wanted to..the day of your wedding I was there." He seemed to have rehearsed it a bit, stepping closer taking her hand from her stomach though his eyes did linger there a moment or two longer than they should have. "I was there because if I even considered you were unhappy I was going to take you..I planned on taking you away with me. I…I can't just step away from you without knowing how you feel about me, if you wished you had.."

She touched his face, her tears still sliding down her own. She stepped closer, looking out at the lawn a while then back at him, the only noise the distant talking from the party. Her body seemed to shiver, as if she were fighting some awful battle with herself. She touched her stomach again and shook her head gently. "Oh Severus..we..we can't do this. Please don't…"

"You have to understand, I'd do anything to get you back. I screwed it all up, but I can tell you can't be happy here. I love you, I.."

"Don't say that!" She hung her head, shaking it as if she could make him disappear by will alone. "Don't tell me you love me...I'm married to him. I can't just apparate out of here with you and be done with it now. It's too late for things like that. When it would just be me it was…" She murmured wiping away her tears.

"This is no then? I heard the way he talked to you out in the hallway, heard him call you a.." Before the younger Severus could speak the elder Severus put his hands over the small child until the speech became appropriate again. "…If it's because of the baby.."

"Could you really do it Severus? Live some awful life in some rundown flat with me while a little Malfoy baby crawled around? I can't imagine it'd be anything we wanted.." She paused and put her face against his chest, holding onto his figure against her own. "If I could take it all back…I would. I would have run off with you..and we could be just as happy as we dreamed we'd be. We won't be that happy now..not like this. So when I let go of you..I think you should go and chat with my…my husband, and then leave before Bella suspects something."

He stared at her, and caressed her face. "I don't think I could see Lucius's baby running around…I could try. I would try if it.."

She reached up and put a finger to his lips, tracing them with her finger intently. He reached down to kiss her, pushing her hand away. Before he could manage to kiss her, she had let go and a few feet was between them, her hands up as if to prove her innocence from anything. He watched her for a moment, and turned leaving the balcony. Alone again she stared out at the garden, tracing her fingers over her stomach talking to it in a hushed voice. "It'll just be you and I darling…I won't let him send you to Hogwarts. You will be mine, and I will love you and protect you…you're going to be a girl. I can feel it, spell or no. My little girl…and you'll look like me not like Lucius…" She paused a moment and stared at her stomach whispering. "If you are Severus's though..I want you to look like him.."

* * *

They were out of the memory and back in the closet within moments. Severus paused, and Lyra took this chance to speak. "If you had known that I was your.."

"I regret that, more than anything. I'd have really argued against it either way. I never stood up and took her…I was so sure she didn't.." He waited and stepped out of the room to stare at Persephone. Those old regrets seemed to be the very things that kept him awake at night. She was asleep, the blanket wrapped around her. Her face was creased with some deep worry in her head and he wanted to hold her to him again. He sat on the bed a few moments, and when she finally moved a little he got up to keep himself under control. Inside he could feel the fires of being that seventeen year old boy who wanted nothing more than days with the girl he loved in their secret room.

She moved slightly, and he thought about how easy it could be. He could just slide into the bed and hold her in his arms, smell that scent of roses that always clung to her. He took a step but a blonde flash zoomed past him and jumped onto the bed. The woman laying there did not move, her body seemed unaware of the child beside it. Andromeda crawled closer touching her mother's arm gingerly as if worried she'd be attacked. Nothing happened, so she did it again. She tired for a third time but her mother groaned and remained still.

"I'll leave you with her..I mean it is Andromeda's naptime and.." Lyra stared at her father and then down at the little girl as she pulled her into her arms quietly. "Pavo should be home after a while and I'd prefer to be the one to talk to him."

"Yes, alright." He nodded his head as he stared at Persephone. He listened as his daughter left the room and the door clicked. It took him a moment to gaze away from the figure of the woman in the bed, to the walls. A picture on the wall had a young Persephone cradling baby Lyra to her, smiling weakly to Severus the baby cooing and squirming around impatiently. He imagined himself in it, his arm around Persephone. He allowed himself to hate his mistakes, to dream of the one thing he'd wanted.

"Lucius hates that picture…that's why I had it put there while he was away one day. He refused to be in it because of…well it wasn't hard to tell she wasn't his." He turned instantly as the woman sat up, wrapping her arms around herself as she put herself onto her feet. He remained still and she joined him, looking up at the portrait. "His mother died a week after she was born. I like to think the little satisfaction I got was seeing the expression on her face as she looked at Lyra. It took nothing to tell she wasn't a Malfoy.."

"Why were you locked in your closet?" He didn't want to delve into the past, not now. It sounded impatient, arrogant of him to demand it of her. He'd just traveled and forced himself the entire way to see her. He was half panicked she was dying or had died, and here she was just exhausted and nothing more. She didn't answer him right away; she just looked back to the closed door than to him, reaching to touch his face gingerly. He wished he could loath her, even pull away. To do so would be childish, but just this close proximity brought back the feelings he thought he could bury under work and dedication to his own ideals.

"Look at you Severus….standing here in my bedroom. The years between us…almost twenty years of barely seeing bits of each other. Now I'm embarrassed it was my daughter's meddling that led to it. I never…never imagined that.."

"That doesn't answer why you were in the closet. Why you had locked yourself into a closet leaving your children motherless and not so long after Lucius.." He wished he hadn't the moment it came out. Her eyes seemed to empty and she turned away from him, clenching the material of her clothes in her fingers. "Bloody hell I've done it haven't I?"

She stared at him, still toying with the material of her dress. Her eyes seemed to shimmer a moment but there weren't tears, just the possibility of them. "I had always imagined something like this. You'd sweep in here and take me. At first it was just me, that you'd come on the balcony and hold me, and forgive me for going to Lucius. Then I imagined you realizing our daughter was our's…and when Voldemort's reign was over..I thought you would never come back to me. Now you're here and we're…two people who hate each other, resent each other."

Severus took a step closer to her but she pulled away, clenching her clothes against her skin. "I'm a terrible woman…a terrible mother. That's what you think of me. I ruined your life. Say it, scream at me Severus!"

* * *

_**A/N--**Sorry its been so long, busy holiday season!_

**REVIEW REPLIES**

_**Debjunk--**As always a faithful reviewer. I had a hard time imagining what would convince her into agreeing to Lucius, but it didn't take much when I considered her principles. Persephone was loyal to the people who loved her most, and with her fear of Severus's betrayal, she took it to be her family._

_**G--**Yes, Persephone definatnly picked the loser there.._


	14. Bittersweet

Severus didn't get to answer her demanding question though. Instantly a young man was there, probably a year older than his sister. He had the sharp features of a Malfoy as well, though his hair was a darker blonde than his father's. Otherwise they shared the same features almost entirely. He was in new dress robes, his whole body language giving off a superior feeling aura. He knew instantly that this man would be exactly as his father was. It almost disgusted him realizing that this was the third of his Persephone's children.

"Mother, you're out." He said walking over ignoring the man there. He wrapped his arms around his mother, giving her an easy embrace. "What on earth were you thinking? Do you know how it would look if you just disappeared? What will the people at the ministry think if my mother just goes into nowhere.."

"I'm sorry Pavo, it wasn't fair to any of you." Her words came out softly as if were a child preparing to be beaten. Severus watched the whole thing quite annoyed that she was looking so beaten just by the words of her son. He took a step forward but the young man swung around to look at him inspecting him for only a few moments.

"Professor Snape," He said coolly. "Lyra says it's your visit that talked her out. I suppose thanks are in order before you leave."

"Pavo don't be silly, Severus should at least stay for dinner don't you think? I was going to make something nice. We can't leave your sister alone in the kitchen too long…Merlin knows poor Lyra hasn't a bit of talent in cooking." Persephone gave her son a look, and his eyes remained on the older man in the room. It seemed as if he were considering some smart remark but instead gave a short shrug and walked out in an impatient bustle. She watched her son leave and turned towards her bed sitting on it a few moments.

"He's just like his father. It must be a painful reminder the way he acts like him." Severus murmured. She gave no reply to him, just staring at the bed and nodding a tiny bit. He moved carefully over and sat by her. Their hands were only centimeters apart, and he considered how easily he could slip his own over her's. The idea alone made him feel like an idiot. Once again his mind was in a place years ago. Nothing was the same; if he were thinking right he'd just leave. He'd done what he'd come for.

"It would mean a lot to me if you stayed for dinner. I know I didn't ask you but…you know it would be important to me if you did. Lyra…I'm sure she'd like to talk to you for a while." Her voice came out patiently as she got up, walking towards her closet. She walked inside and came out in some plain blue robes. She combed her hair back with her fingers easily, as if it were just another normal day of her life.

"I'll stay for dinner. After that I have business to attend to straight after that."

"I have things to do myself." She whispered though her voice hinted at something she wished she'd have said.

* * *

"Mother, I'm not hungry. I want to eat some of the candies that Pavo brings me when I'm good. I was a good girl today." Andromeda stared at her plate impatiently as if the food on it would attack her face if she looked away. She had situated herself between Severus and her mother. She knew that this guest was here for something important, and sensing that she knew she had to be the one to sit by him. The table was long, but the group sat at one end with Persephone at the head of the table. To her left sat little Andromeda, but to the right of her sat her son. Beside him Lyra was staring at her father oblivious to anything else going on her mind full of questions for him.

"You can't eat candies for dinner sweet heart. You love peas..go ahead and finish them." Persephone murmured taking a sip of wine. She stared into the crystal goblet a moment then back to her son who was clearing his throat. Pavo had said nothing yet, but as he put his fork down the whole room seemed to focus on his actions, except for Lyra.

"I find this all really weird. I want to know why Professor Snape came. Why you," He glanced at his mother with a nod. "Were in a closet. I want an explanation and…Lyra look at me. I don't know why the hell you're staring at.."

Lyra turned on her brother in a flash her eyes burning with fury. She opened her mouth as if to scold him, but was silenced by her mother coughing. She froze there a moment staring back at her mother and then looked back at her plate glaring at it instead of her brother. Pavo took this as his cue and looked back to his mother. She gave no reply and he just gave a frustrated noise. He wasn't used to people dancing around things. It rather pissed him off.

"Lyra wrote me a letter to come. Your mother and I were quite close during our 7th year at Hogwarts and your sister knew about this. I talked her into coming out, and your sister is staring at me because I'm her biological father and she's well aware of that fact." Severus looked straight into Pavo's eyes, and the two men seemed frozen in some battle the women couldn't grasp. Andromeda smacked her spoon against her plate and all eyes instantly moved back to her.

"I ate all the peas on my plate. I don't want any roasted chicken. No chicken for Andy. I want some peppermint blossoms like you promised me Pavo." The child glanced up at them still clacking her spoon on the plate and the young man reached into his pocket placing several small oval shaped peppermints in front of her. The child took one, and placed it on her tongue watching as it slowly opened into a lotus flower shaped. She took it with her fingers playing with the candy happily. The adults sat awkwardly watching her and finally Pavo spoke again.

"My father wouldn't like this. You; sitting at our table here with HIS family. I'm sorry mother I'm going to go sort through more of father's parchments in his office. I've nothing to talk about with Professor Snape…or anyone at the table right now." He got up and left impatiently his feet half stomping like an angry boy who hadn't gotten what he wanted. Persephone rested her forehead against her hand. She carefully reached out to grab her goblet and took a long drink of it carefully cradling it in her fingers. Once the sound of his footsteps disappeared Severus pushed his plate forward.

"This was really good but I think I should leave, I've clearly finished my business here." He got up and instantly Lyra pushed her plate forward standing as well.

"Please don't leave. I..I want to get to know you. Don't let Pavo scare you off he's just upset because he likes being the man in the house now and you've done something he couldn't! Stay father stay!" She pleaded the words looking across the table at Severus. He looked back at her, and couldn't find the ability to say no to her. He didn't look back to the girl's mother, just gave a small nod and she instantly walked over grabbing his hand. "Let's go talk in the garden then, I have all sorts of questions." She said excitedly.

Persephone drained her goblet, standing up and looking back at her daughter. The child was on her second peppermint blossom watching it open in her hands this time. It seemed as though the whole dinner had bored her, and her only happiness emitted from the delightful candies her brother had bought her patience with. "Mm..yummy.."

"Come on Andy…let's get you into bed."

* * *

Andromeda fell asleep almost instantly in her own little bed. Her mother felt relieved she wouldn't have to explain any of the evening to her, she herself would have to consider every detail several times before deciding what to do next. Persephone stared at her daughter, wrapped up tightly in her comforter her mouth ringed with peppermint candy. After being sure the child was securely asleep she stood up and walked to the window where the sunset was clearly visible. She looked out the window, and saw Severus and their daughter talking. She wanted to be down there, wanted to throw in her side of everything. She knew that Lyra knew much more than she should…but how much exactly she didn't know. She watched him, and wondered if she would see him again. Surely it had to be an inconvenience to have to come down to get her out of her secret room like that. She had no idea why he did it anyway.

"Mother.." She turned around to see Pavo standing there. He was almost a ghostly image of Lucius sometimes, and she had to pause and concentrate on who it was before unfreezing her body. It was hard to believe that the man she'd been married to so long was dead and gone. Here his son was, almost too much like his father in appearance.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry about..dinner."

"Don't be. I'm sure your father would have done the same thing…but Severus..did do something today he had no reason to do. He came all this way to help me. So don't be harsh against him."

"Were you forced into marrying my father?" He blurted it out suddenly and the woman froze at the question. She looked instantly to the sleeping child but she didn't wake. The woman sighed with relief and walked out letting her son follow her down the corridor. Her feet moved much faster than usual, desperate to only speak to him again when the child's ears couldn't even make out that people were talking.

"If you'd woken Andromeda I would have given you a hard talking to.."

"Were you?"

"Pavo, I really don't think that's an appropriate question this late in the evening.." She felt his hand rest on her arm and she looked at her son before sighing and hugging him. "Pavo.."

"Lyra will be impossible now. Even before father died she acted as if she weren't one of us. Letting that man come here..how could she?" He murmured to her. She could sense the resentment in his voice and replied immediately without thinking.

"Lyra loves you and Andy..and she loved Lucius as well in her own way. Don't let something like this put you off.." She pulled from the hug and patted his face gingerly. "There, I can't be expected to keep you in my skirts forever can I? Your father always did scold me for that…I think he worried you'd be more like me than him."

"Am I?"

Persephone didn't consider that question just watched the young man there. Within no time at all, he'd taken control of the entire manor. It didn't bother her; she had never found solace in this place. The only place in the house she felt safe was the closet she'd locked herself into hidden away. Still, the boy who had once clung to her as they walked these corridors was standing there waiting for her to answer one of his questions. She imagined that boy there, desperate to escape some harsh comments made by his father running to his mother for protection. Then turning around and hoping to win the man over. It was a hard position he'd put her into, and she finally made her choice.

"I wasn't forced to marry your father. I..I admit that I didn't want to at first, and I fully intended not to go through with the engagement. But, your father talked me into it. If people tell you that he used me harshly, if people say that I hated him, don't listen. I didn't hate Lucius Malfoy…and I love you and Andromeda, and Lyra. You three mean everything to me." She turned around and returned to her own bedroom wondering what she meant and what she didn't from that answer to her son's questions.

* * *

"Was my mother very beautiful when she was my age?" Lyra was sitting on a marble wall staring at her father patiently. He'd pulled himself onto the wall as well to sit with her gazing out at the wide garden. He wasn't sure he'd gotten himself into a good position letting his daughter interview him. His home seemed a nice place right now.

"She was the most beautiful girl. She still is…very nice." He had almost led himself back down the path he'd told himself not to. Very stupid of him..

"What was she like?"

He looked at the young woman and seemed to consider the idea of describing her. He closed his eyes, and continued to talk to her. "She was, funny. When we were alone, we could spend forever just talking. She was scared though..scared of things that…her family forced on her. So around most people she remained silent and did as she was told. She was who she had to be in front of other people. I thought it'd break her apart. She was a lot stronger than I considered though. Much stronger a person than I thought I could be."

Lyra looked at her father, and saw a sudden sadness in his eyes. She scooted closer, and put a hand on his arm. She stared at where her hand was wondering if there was a scar there like there'd been on her step father's body. Like the one on Pavo's arm. She shivered imagining it and while she was looking he suddenly pulled his arm back as if he could read her mind. Frightened he'd scold her, she waited in silence for him to yell or do something harsh. Instead he didn't even seem to react at first. She looked up into his eyes and he gave her a little shrug.

"I did..become a death eater." He had considered that was where her mind had been as she stared at his arm so intently. Staring at it with the same eyes that Persephone must have when she had fully decided to be away from him, and then found herself married to Malfoy. However, Lyra reached back and slid his sleeve up, fingering the scar that was there. He shivered despite himself and she looked up at him.

"Why did you do it? Why would you become…one of them. Was it because, you were scared of the Dark Lord? Or..was it because you thought it was the right side to be on?"

Severus watched her, his senses on edge. Even with the scar faded, he half expected it to suddenly ache as it once had to announce the Dark Lord's desire to have him present. He wondered if he'd ever get used to not having that feeling. With a hesitation he looked towards the Malfoy Manor considering why exactly he did it. Now that he thought about it, there was one reason he'd joined up. It wasn't the right side to be on, he himself constantly felt conflicted since his own father was a muggle. He put his hand carefully over his daughter's, and looked back at her.

"I told myself, that it was the fastest way to make something of myself. More than anything I was scared of living my life without your mother…so I wanted to make myself a better man than your father. I thought if I won the Dark Lord's approval I could have whatever I wanted, I could have more than the Malfoy's. I'd make sure to give Persephone everything that I could."

"You really love my mother don't you?"

Severus didn't answer the question. His eyes had drifted towards the balcony where Persephone was, brushing her hair and staring out in the opposite direction of the two. He could feel his daughter's eyes on him, and instantly looked back to her. "I think I should go.."

"You should stay the night. Mum wouldn't mind…and I still, I want to ask you more questions."

"We'll talk again sometime."

As he rose to get up she clenched his hand in her hands, though small they clutched him. It startled him that she'd had such a grip on him and he looked into those eyes again. Damn. She looked as though she could cry at the idea of him leaving. No, she must have known. He really didn't think he could return if he left now.

"Lyra, how did you know that I was your father?"

She seemed surprised that he wasn't going to try to rush off, but she kept hold of his hand. Her face reddened and she bowed her head clearly knowing it was something she wasn't meant to discover. "When…the Dark Lord took control of our house, mother was scared. Anywhere you went you could hear someone suffering, someone in pain. So she sealed us into her room. I'm sure that if the Dark Lord needed us he could have gotten in but..father refused to let us be sent away from him. Pavo, he was one of the Death Eaters too, so I just had Andy with me. While she slept, I was hitting the wall with my wand, and after a while the wall opened and I found it…where the muggle songs that mother used to hum to me came from. Pictures of people I didn't recognize, and then I found her memories and I realized that.."

She was suddenly silent, and he could see in himself. She'd suffered, even in the life that Lucius Malfoy had created. He knew that look, and instantly he felt that he should have taken his Persephone and the child, saved them from this fate. She made a noise of exhaustion and he realized that she was tired already from the day. He looked up towards the house. "I'll stay the night, and in the morning you can keep asking questions. You should go rest a while, and..I'll talk to your mother for a little bit."

The idea seemed to instantly cheer her, and she slowly let go of her father's hand. He stared at her unsure if he should at least pat her head. Instantly though, she put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back, and she let go and apparated away. He looked back up at the balcony where Persephone was staring at him. His mind flickered to being in the same garden feeling helpless and burning the flowers under which she'd married Lucius Malfoy. He wondered if she'd seen him do that, if she felt anything for him that day. She disappeared from the balcony and he knew that she was coming out of the manor. He waited there, not realizing that the light breeze was taking a colder turn. He stared at the house until he saw her emerge. She had changed into a white nightgown, and he could see the bare shoulders but that wasn't what caught his attention. It was the Black family crest that still hung there on her neck, enraging him all at once. When she was right in front of him, she reached back and took it off dropping it.

"I turned my back on you. I married Lucius because I was scared. He promised me if I did that nothing would happen to Sirius. That Andromeda, and her family would be protected against Voldemort's wrath. But you, you Severus you lied to me. You were one of them! You knew how I couldn't stand that, how the whole world was shivering for fear of someone and you allow him to mark you. Do you realize if.." Persephone's eyes filled with tears and she put her arms around herself. "If you were one of them, how could I know that you really loved me if you cared so much for this new pureblood fantasy.."

"I didn't have anything Sephony. I had nothing but my name, and a few hexes I knew. Nothing that could help you what so ever. If I just got a job it'd take me ages to get half of what Malfoy was going to inherit. And with him you had your family's love too! If I followed Voldemort I had a chance for a position in a new world, and I could force my way so that you had everything."

"I told you I'd choose a life with nothing but you.."

"I didn't want you to!"

They stood in silence, and he realized that she was shaking. "I did eight cheering charms on myself, eight of them so I could walk down an aisle and declare that I was going to spend my life with Lucius. Every time I see a picture from the wedding, I cringe. I cringe because after I said those words I only wanted you. I always wanted you. I'd imagine you all the time popping up and sweeping me away. I even kept a bag packed like a foolish child. Then, then I found out that I was going to have a baby, and I was scared. I'd been married to him for less than a month and I had a baby growing inside of me. I wrote, thousands of letters that I ended up burning. It had to be Lucius's..it had to be..and.."

Severus couldn't let her continue. He wrapped his arms around her, feeling her body shaking, breaking down with sobbing. He felt his own eyes filling with tears too, but he kept his arms to her as if letting go of her meant death for himself. He'd forced himself into killing muggles, into plotting for a man who wanted nothing but chaos. Persephone, she'd forced herself into a life of play acting that had torn her apart. Somehow, she'd held herself together but he could see from the way she looked that his resentment of her stemmed from his own self loathing. It wasn't fair; it wasn't fair that his own damned fear had let him stand while she married a man that they both knew she didn't love. Now that man was dead. Gone. The sun had set and the moon was already high in the sky before their senses returned to them. He smoothed his hand along her face, feeling the icy trail the tears had taken down her face.

"I still love you Persephone. Even when I saw Pavo at Hogwarts…even when I saw you with Malfoy. I've loved you ever since that day by the lake when you asked me to help you with potions…you were everything I ever wanted, every good thing that I ever had. Even the day.." He waited and looked at her, and she gazed at him waiting desiring to hear it. He closed his eyes and continued. "The day that I saw Lyra with you in the Leaky Cauldron six years ago. I knew instantly who she was, and that you'd kept her away from me, let her believe she was Malfoy's."

"It wasn't fair of me…but I had rejected you on the balcony. How could I come back to you with not only me as a burden but Lyra too? Besides, I was going to leave. Lucius, he started to hit me again and I was going to take Lyra and go live with Andromeda before I discovered I was pregnant with his baby. I couldn't leave then, he wouldn't let me…Severus I ruined everything for us..because I was selfish because.."

Severus put his lips against her's. She put her arms around his neck, clinging to him for dear life. She was crying again, but he could only recall the softness of her skin, and the scent that she always had, the smell that he thought he'd never know again. Everything was the same, everything was different. Everything was the same, the same, but different.

"Severus, we can't do this..we can't do this.." She whispered and pulled away, staring at him. "It isn't this simple, we can't just..do this again."

"Where do we begin then?"

"I don't know.."

* * *

_**A/N--What a serious chapter...I really like the struggle of each of Persephone's children with her. Well except Andromeda, being three it isn't very..dramatic. Besides the struggle for approval and candy. Don't worry more chapters will come soon. This is far from over.**_

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**Debjunk**--_Yes, they've both done terrible things to ruin their happiness over and over...I really think what I love best is how Severus realized that Lyra had it harsh as he had in his own youth._

**G--**_Well, it isn't as if you could simply halt a man from your bed. And even kings after having one son insisted on continuing for more. Andromeda was...a surprise sort of..._


	15. The Beginning

**Persephone** couldn't sleep all night. Her head ached as if someone was in screaming. She couldn't even recall any spell that could stop the pain, just thinking was bad enough. She opened her eyes and looked around the room blinking slowly. The bed she'd once shared with Lucius felt empty. After his death at the Battle for Hogwarts, she hadn't felt that aware of it. His time at Azkaban had made her feel content to be alone, glad not to have someone possibly ordering her around in the middle of the night. Still, as she recalled the day before, the bed felt too big for just her. Severus was just down the corridor in the guest room, barely a walk at all. She was sure she could sense his every movement, and that thought made her heart pound. He was here, here so close to her. She rolled over in bed and pulled the blanket closer to her body.

The night was going to take forever to pass, and still she couldn't make herself get up. To go see him, to sneak out of her room like a child. It was embarrassing, and what good would it do now? Simply sleeping with him would do nothing, and he could simply refuse to touch her. That would hurt too much. She sighed and got up doing the only rational thing she could manage. She walked into her closet after opening the wall, and inside she felt relieved again. The walls had shelves on one side, there was a small cot on the floor against the opposite wall, and towards the back her pensieve stood. She looked at the few pictures she had on the wall, tracing a finger over a picture of she and Sirius laughing in the Great Hall. His smiling face made her a little lonely for the past memories that still gripped her heart.

"If you were still alive, you'd know what to say.." She whispered to the picture. She could recall the day when Lucius had tried to have his way with her in the Great Hall, and Sirius had cursed him. He was always a step ahead of her, ready to help her. She looked down at her pensieve and considered which memories would be best to escape to. Her entire seventh year zoomed past her head, and she didn't want to go back suddenly. She had her own reminder of the past in her house right now. Without the ability to hide in her memories, Persephone rested against the wall holding her face in her hands listening to her stomach making soft noises. She hadn't eaten anything. Suddenly she heard someone walk in and turned instantly to see her daughter. It was almost a ghost of herself, like a memory version of herself. The dark hair around her face made it sink in the true identity of the young woman however.

"Lyra you can't sneak up on me like that.."

"I couldn't sleep. Could you not either Mum?"

"No, a busy day I suppose. You should try to get some rest Lyra, your father and you have a lot to discuss I imagine."

The young woman suddenly looked uncomfortable as if rethinking her intentions. Still, she gave a little noise and looked towards her mother. "Lucius, father, um..Lucius. Why did you stay with him so long? If you loved my father why didn't you just go find him, you knew that I was his.."

Persephone stared at her daughter and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. She smoothed her fingers through the young woman's dark hair, and closed her eyes. "A lot of reasons…I was mainly afraid I'd finally pushed him far enough away from me…so that I couldn't hurt him anymore."

"He still loves you.."

"Don't say things like that Lyra. Please.."

Her daughter pulled away from her mother's grasp and took her hands in her own, staring up into her mother's eyes. "He loves you, he came all the way here for you Mum don't you get that? He still loves you after everything. When Lucius went to Azkaban we could all have left and found my father but instead.."

"I can't change the past Lyra! I can't, because if I could I'd have done everything better..I'd have fixed everything for myself. I would never have left Hogwarts…I'd have married Severus as soon as I could. But you need to grasp something darling. I…never. I never hated him. I didn't hate Lucius Lyra, I really didn't."

Lyra looked at her mother surprised at the remark. Of all things for her mother to say, she hadn't imagined that her mother would admit to anything but hate of the man who had run their lives. She seemed to consider the words and then stared at the wall a moment. "He hated me.."

"Lucius hated everything that wasn't what he wanted. He was a spoiled child. I couldn't hate him even when he used me hard, when he hexed at me. I know that he wasn't thrilled that you weren't his, but he did his best. He never hit you Lyra, never spoke harshly against you.."

"He beat you. All the time I saw it. I saw you fading the bruises with your wand…but I know he hurt you..know he hurt you Mum.."

"I hit back. If Sirius had taught me anything it was to hit back. Lyra we should just let this die..I don't want to talk about it."

"We haven't talked about this my entire life; we're not going to just ignore this are we?"

"I can't ignore this Lyra. Merlin's sake, I locked myself in here because I can't ignore it. As soon as Lucius's funeral was over I realized I was finally free. I wouldn't spend my nights wondering if some Death Eaters would pop up and I'd be expected to help them. Wonder if my children were going to be safe while I slept. That's why I was in here..I don't know what to do with myself anymore."

Lyra stared at her mother, and looked down at her feet clearly silenced again. Persephone stood up and hugged her daughter again, shaking her head as she did so. "I'm sorry; this isn't something I wanted to admit to any of you darling. I just..I'm really not sure what to do. I really don't know.."

"You can try to be happy Mum. He isn't leaving til tomorrow afternoon." The young woman pulled from her mother's arms and looked at her. "It isn't too late. I'm going to bed now…please don't lock yourself in here again. Andy doesn't like it when I try to mother her, and she's hard to handle for me sometimes."

Persephone watched her daughter go. She wished she'd had that sort of passion at that age, once again she was just wishing for things that had been. She sighed and walked back into her bedroom crawling into the bed. Lyra had spoken with such passion, such determination. She recalled watching Lucius coming out of Azkaban when Voldemort released them. She had Andromeda, and he hadn't even realized he had a new child. That expression on his face, it was one of the few moments that she could hold onto. He looked ragged, a broken version of his proud self. He walked out and saw her standing there holding Andromeda's hand. Lucius was a child, but he had not been harsh all their lives. She knew however that only Andromeda would have only happy memories of him. He had been harsh to Pavo, and though he never neglected her he ignored Lyra. She couldn't hate the man, and with his death…

* * *

Severus hadn't slept at all. He had paced in his room, and even considered going in the night. Still, as he saw the sun coming up through the window he was glad he'd stayed. He came from his room and listened patiently to the house. He could hear Pavo talking to Lyra in hushed voices, but his feet led him blindly until he stood outside Persephone's door waiting for her. He could hear her moving about, and as she opened the door he jumped almost too excitedly. She looked exhausted, and he put a hand on her shoulder as if to steady her. She looked at his hand then at him. "Did you sleep well?"

It was almost a joke. He really wanted to laugh, because from her appearance it seemed neither of them had slept easily. He gave a sort of nod and she pulled her arms around herself. He wanted to kiss her again, but he could already tell that she'd only tell him they couldn't do it. They stared at each other a moment and he simply nodded.

"Good, I'm glad. I suppose I'll go down and make breakfast."

"Persephone…"

"You like toast I hope? French toast and bacon. Andromeda loves French toast and.."

"Persephone, I don't want to talk about breakfast right now." He watched as she looked directly at him, emitting a soft sigh. She had attempted it, but neither of them could avoid it. They were both haunted, pushed over by the past memories and the memory of the kiss from the night before. He put his hand onto her face, smoothing his fingers against her skin. His body knew the movements, as if it had only been the night before when they'd last entwined themselves together. His head however knew it wasn't the same that nothing could be..still he could simply kiss her, and she'd know the movements as well…

"Mummy." Andromeda's soft little voice made reality come back to them. Still, as Persephone stared at Severus she kissed him softly. It was enough, it was a new beginning. Lucius was gone, and Severus had come for her. They had both been determined to ruin their happiness, and here finally everything they wanted was there in one soft motion of their lips. It was something in her world that she'd let slip away. Andromeda giggled and ran off to tell Pavo. She knew he'd make that grumpy face he often made.

* * *

_**A/N--**It took me a couple months to get my life back on track, job issues..etc. Anyway, this ending took me the other couple of months. Severus and Persephone weren't going to immediately snap back, and this ending sort of reflects that they've started, which is the main point of the story. You have to press on and not lose determination to get the things you want from life. Or rather something like that. I really am glad to have written this, I really hope you've all enjoyed it and aren't disappointed in how long it took me to get this up. ^^'''_

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Debjunk--They began with a kiss, and sort of started that way as well. Thank you so much for being with me on the journey with this story. I feel you have influenced Persephone and Severus as much as I have, and I wish the best for you. Thank you very much!


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